Politics
Biden Not Really Sure What To Do With Himself Now
News Anchors Unsure What To Talk About Now Election Is Over
State Funeral Scheduled For Peanut The Squirrel
Trump Demands Recount, Wants More Votes
Nation Braces Itself For Exciting Night Of Paper Counting
Apocalypse Imminent After [INSERT NEW PRESIDENT HERE] Wins Election
Local Man Looking Forward To Election Finishing So He “Can Go Back To Thinking About Birds”
Disillusioned Voters Decide To Vote For Both Candidates
