Elon Interrupts Tesla Earnings Call Demanding $1 Trillion, Here’s Everything He Said

Elon Musk, the world’s most rich man by volume, just gate-crashed his own earnings call to beg shareholders to vote in favor of his controversial $1 trillion pay package. Come on, a guy’s got to eat.

Musk interrupted his CFO at the end of the 75-minute call to say, “I just think that there needs to be enough voting control to give a strong influence, but not, not so much that I can’t be fired if I go insane.”

Wait, why… why would ‘going insane’ even be on the cards, Elon? I never thought you’d go insane. Why did you bring that up? I’m definitely worried that’s now an option, ELON.

Weirdly, that’s almost exactly what he said back in August when he weaselled himself a $30 billion pay bump, “I think my control over Tesla should be enough to ensure that it goes in a good direction, but not so much control that I can’t be thrown out if I go crazy.” We get it, you could go cray-cray, please stop saying it.

Well, If You Musk Ask… ELON musg thad is.

But other than that, I feel this is a weirdly measured response which basically boils down to ‘I need more power, please.’

Elon carried on, “I just don’t feel comfortable building a robot army here and then being ousted because of some asinine recommendations from ISS and Glass Lewis who have no freaking clue.” Jesus, no one’s asking you to build a robot army. I think you might have already gone insane, sir.

Look, a big fat trilly sounds insane for the man who’s already worth more than the entire GDP of his home South Africa, BUT, as a spokesperson put it, “The proposed pay package is actually worth zero to our CEO unless and until the shareholders see the value of the company nearly double and an operational milestone is met.”

Basically, look at this graph: 

It’s not money for nothing; Musk would have to see a massive turnaround in the EV maker’s fortunes if he’s to get even close to that trillion number. But he’s got to have incentives and what could possibly incentivise a man who’s worth 489.6 billion USD?

I’m sure you’re job is the same, I just know that you wouldn’t get out of bed if you weren’t dangled a massive bonus of double your current earnings ON TOP OF your current pay. What, you work to the best of your ability and still only get paid your normal rate? Well, shit, sorry mate, maybe you should have thought about that before you became poor.

Elon might have an uphill battle for the monies, considering Tesla’s been in a rut lately. Yes, they had a record quarterly revenue from buyers trying to cash in their expiring tax credits, BUT profits dropped 37%. The company continues to face threats from all sides: the US government, Chinese competition, and this random bill for one trillion dollars that no one can seem to explain…