Elon Musk’s new “Freedom Squad” features Alex Jones and Andrew Tate 

Elon's Freedom Squad

Elon Musk, Alex Jones, and Andrew Tate have formed an alliance that is less Avengers and more like a group project where everyone forgot to do their homework. 

Dubbed the “Freedom Squad,” this trio is setting out on a crusade to save free speech, or at least their version of it. This was unveiled in a recent X Spaces conversation that felt like a bizarre crossover episode no one asked for.

It comes just a day after Musk held an unscientific poll on whether Jones should be allowed back on X after being banned in 2018 for breaching the site’s rules on abusive behavior. 

About 70% of roughly two million respondents voted to lift the ban, bringing the American conspiracy theorist back on the platform in a display of Musk’s commitment to his free speech ethos.

In a nearly three-hour talkathon, the three shared their views on everything from space colonization to conspiracy theories, wrapped in the banner of free speech. 

The first to enter is Alex Jones, the man who turned conspiracy theorizing into an artform. He brings to the table a wealth of experience in saying things that definitely get people talking. Whether or not those things are rooted in reality is a different story altogether.

Jones expressed his gratitude to Musk for being allowed back into the digital public square. “The only thing you own is your soul and integrity”, he added in his statement that left even the most seasoned philosophers scratching their heads. 

“Musk is overturning the power structure, he is changing the entire paradigm”, said Jones, praising Musk’s efforts in “getting the system scared”. He even pledged to do all his Christmas shopping from X sponsors in an attempt to show his support to the free speech crusader. 

If this wasn’t enough for the day, Tate, who faces charges of rape and human trafficking, also chimed in. With a unique blend of bravado and business ‘advice,’ Tate is the wildcard of the group. 

Calling Musk a “hero”, he said: “This simple purchase of the website [X] has cracked the matrix in real time”. He then advised young men to pursue wealth, fast cars, and gym memberships, emphasizing non-compliance to the system.

Together, this trio is embarking on a mission to champion free speech, with Musk tweeting: “Free speech is essential for a functioning democracy” and who better to help him with that than a man who thinks chemicals in the water are turning the frogs gay and the “most googled man in the world”.

Critics are calling this the ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,’ if the gentlemen in question were less about fighting supernatural threats and more about fighting the ‘threat’ of not being able to say whatever pops into their heads.

In response to the news, Twitter’s servers are reportedly considering early retirement, and the fact-checking industry is experiencing a boom, calling this an unexpected economic stimulus.

So, grab your popcorn, folks. The Musk-Jones-Tate trio is ready to take on the world. It will definitely be a show worth watching, but from a very, very safe distance.

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