Elon To Merge SpaceX And xAI, And Everyone’s Very Confused
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After multiple snubbings to come hang on Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo-island, world’s richest loser, Elon Musk has announced plans to make his own island but way cooler and in space with AI sex girlfriends instead.
In order to facilitate this long term plan, Musk has decided to fold Grok-creators, xAI, into his rocket company, SpaceX.
I know, that seems insane, but think about it, it’s not insane if you think like all the other tech billionaires. That’s right, we’re talking about AI datacentres in space.
As Musk explained last week, “The lowest cost place to put AI will be in space and that will be true within two years, maybe three at the latest.”
I mean, he’s obviously lying but everyone else is on board the crazy train too, with Bezos and Zuckerberg and Pichai (Google) all declaring similar things.
What this really is though is some financial wiggling. xAI already merged with Twitter and SpaceX and Tesla are already investing money back and forth with these other entities. It’s all just an exercise in debt management and one step towards Musk’s eventual goal of forming a South Korean-style mega-monopoly (I think they’re called ‘chaebol’, look it up).
The news also comes ahead of Elon’s plan to launch the largest IPO in history come June when SpaceX goes public and that $1.5 trillion valuation becomes a reality.
Idk how it works but I’m guessing Musk just wants xAI and Twitter and everything to get buoyed by that valuation. Or maybe it’s like a lil extra to sweeten the deal. “By one insane tech company with ‘x’ in the name and get another free!”
Which brings us to the most important question of this whole story: what will this new company be called?
I mean, SpaceXAI seems like the obvious combination but then you lose that previous capitalisation. SpacexAI looks weird. Also, Twitter gets lost in the mix there, we need another X, but then SpaceXXX looks like a porn company so maybe not.
My pitch would be for the mega-ultimate name. Conventions be damned let’s put it all in there and I don’t care how unwieldy it will be at least it’s clear. Calling it now, Elon’s new super-company will be called:
SpaceXX(Twitter)xAITeslaGrok(noaffiliationwithJepstien)
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