Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton (PTON) just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (those snakes) reported that they were recalling 833,000 bikes.

The bikes in question are called the Bike+ (more like Bike minus amiright?), sold between Jauary 2020 and April 2025 but get this the recall was sparked by just three complaints.

Ok, yes, of those three complaints, two customers were injured, and yes, of those two injuries, one was fatal and yes, regarding that one fatal injury I did make up that last detail but 833,000 bikes, a massive amount of money and lord knows how much good will thrown down the drain? Phaw!

Peloton injury diagram
yeah you can freaking die from these things so let that be a lesson to ya

“The integrity of our products and our Members’ well-being are our top priorities,” Peloton spokesperson Stephanie Tackach said in an emailed statement to TechCrunch. “We are taking this opportunity to make replacement seat posts available to all affected Bike+ users and we encourage them to contact us to receive the redesigned seat post as soon as possible.”

Awks.

Peloton? More Like ‘Lost-A-Ton’

But really this is nothing. As you might remember, back in 2023 Peloton were forced to recall an insane 2.2 MILLION exercise bikes due to similar reports of injuries.

At this point maybe Peloton should just admit their whole scheme. Get everyone hooked on Peloton and then murder them.

Yes, there’s probably more efficient ways to bump off bike riders but don’t forget that Peloton is in the pocket of big automobile who started this whole brand to get cyclists off the road. The next logical step is to simply kill them.

…Don’t ask me for my sources!

I don’t have any related articles, so here’s an article that happens to have the word ‘bike’ in it: Trump’s Son-In-Law Buys Electronic Arts For $55bn

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Robert• November 6, 2025D

Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commiss...
Stonks
Robert• D

Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commiss...
Stonks