New Trump Tariffs Just Hit Asia But Somehow Stocks Rallied, Here’s How

Pres. Don. Trump. just raised tariffs on South Korean imports to 25% for some reason but despite this, Asian markets have seen a massive boom recently coupled with a strong Japanese Yen to America’s once almighty dollar.

And you know what? That’s it. That’s the news. That’s all there is to say on the matter. Sure, I could get into a bunch of analysis, but do you really trust Wall Street Memes Dot Com for your financial advice? No, I’d look somewhere else.

What, it’s not like you have the attention span to read this far down anyways. I but you’ve not even got this far. I bet you’ve clicked away already. I bet your back on TikTok or something you disgusting zellenial.

No, still here? Alright then, why don’t I tell you a story?

Once upon a time there was a lonely boy called Edgort. He lived alone in an immense castle that he was free to explore as much as he liked. Every day Edgort would wander about the halls and parapets and every day he would find something new. No matter how far he walked in a day or how much he explored, he never seemed to find the end of the castle.

Oh how he was desperate to find a way out of the castle and find someone else to talk to but he had yet to even see the castle gates.

One day, Edgort came across a tall tower and when he climbed it he realized that this must be the tallest tower in the whole castle, because when he reached the top and Edgort looked out, he saw that no other tower was higher. And from this vantage point Edgort could see that the castle stretched for miles and miles and miles and miles all the way to the horizon where the towers and walls seemed to go on even further still.

And so that day Edgort decided to stop searching for the end of the castle, to stop trying to find a way out. Edgort found a nice little corner of the building with a room and a well stocked kitchen and never ventured much further again. And there he remained, until he died.

The End.

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