Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time
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Hello? Can you read this?
OK, good, thank god, it’s not affected wallstmemes.com yet. As a wise man once said, this is it, the apocalypse. The whole internet is shutting down one by one.
I went to check my stocks this morning on Robinhood and saw that I couldn’t. Naturally, I freaked out but thought, it’s fine, I’ve got my crypto. But ohhh no, Coinbase is down too.
It’s OK, I’ve still got money in my Venmo. But no, that’s out too, shit. Better let my friends know on Snapchat. Wtf? Snapchat got Thanos snapped too?
You know what, maybe this is a good thing, I’ve been meaning to catch up on my Duolingo streak for a while. Oh no, please, don’t tell me they killed the owl too…
What about Wordle, I can do that, right? That’s productive too. Nope. The New York Times website is down.
Fine, I’ll do something unproductive. Time to load up a nice game of Fortnite. …aaaand it’s gone. Sure, PUBG? Down. That’s alright, no worries, we’ll crack out some Rainbow Six Siege, nope, shot in the head. Roblox? Bricked. Clash Royale? Crashed.
Alexa, is the internet down? Because I’m starting to feel like the internet is down. Alexa…? …Alexa…?
You know what, I’ll just ask my go-to AI chatbot and ask them. Perplexity, is the internet down? …Perplexity?
Alright, the whole internet can’t be down, let’s just try some random sites, as a test. Canva? Goodreads? Ring? Chime? AppleTV? Prime Video? Life360? Collegeboard? Whatnot? Better ask my internet service provider, Verizon…
Oh shit.
Kim Kardashian did it again. She broke the internet.
Is turning off the internet part of the government shutdown?
It’ll all be alright. You know what, I can just order a new router through Amazon.com and… god DAMN IT!
I can’t search it but a friendly stranger is shouting down the street that all these sites have one thing in common: they all use Amazon’s cloud computing service, AWS.
AWS is the most used cloud computing service and Amazon’s main source of revenue, earning them $108 billion in 2024. Yeah, and here I am thinking that they just sold books.
Alright, well, I guess there’s nothing else to do. There’s only one thing for it, I’m going to do it, I’m going to go… outside.
aggHHGGHHH!!!!
For more on this story, click here: Literally Everyone Is Saying The AI Bubble Is About To Burst And Here’s Why
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