Zuckerberg Just Bought A $170m Miami Mega Mansion And His Neighbors Aren’t Happy

Meta main manager, Mr. ‘Mark’ has manifested a mesmerising Miami mega mansion for millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of monies.

The Zuck and his wife, Priscilla Chan have just spent $170 million on a two-acre waterfront property on Miami’s Indian Creek Island nicknamed ‘Billionaire Bunker’ because it houses the likes of Tom Brady, Ivanka Trump, Jeff Bezos and the Monopoly Guy.

Mr. Berg adds the mansion to his portfolio of homes in Lake Tahoe, Washington and Palo Alto (where he actually lives). The question is, will he actually use the new house? Considering MZ and PC are just two people, even if they split up, only a maximum of 50% of their properties can be occupied at any one time.

Now I’m no financial expert, but I’d say that buying something you’re not going to use, especially at such a price tag, isn’t a very good use of your resources. With such bad financial planning it’s a wonder Mark has become the fourth richest person in the first place.

But what about his neighbors being unhappy, I hear you ask? Oh, I don’t know anything about that, I just made that up for the headline so you’d click over here. I’m assuming they really don’t care.

Just last October it was reported that Jezos was also upgrading his crib. In case you missed it, here’s what we wrote back then:

Amazon big boss and “Breaker of Internets”, Jeffrey Bezos is also a breaker of house valuation records after selling his Seattle mansion for an eye-emulsifying $63 million dollars. That’s the most expensive property ever sold in Washington.

Now that might sound like a lot, but it’s nothing compared to the $237 million American dollars he’s spent on his Miami compound.

Coincidentaly, J-B is worth $237 Billion dollars ($USD) so I don’t know if they picked that number just for synergy or what.

B-Z-Boy only bought the 9,420-square-foot Seattle mansion for $37.5 million dollars (there’s that 37 again, what’s going on?) so a sale of $63 million dollars gives him a net profit of… quick math… at least $20-something million dollars in money.

The area has an average house price of $8 million, one of the priciest in the US, due to its proximity to Seattle’s tech hub. For Jeff, it was only an eight-mile private jet flight to work, so, ideal.

A lake-front view, three bedrooms, four bathrooms (one for every kind of shit), an elevator, a walk-in closet, two kitchens, a rooftop terrace and a glass walkway to the two-story guesthouse. What more could you want?

Well, a lot more apparently. In Miami, Jeff owns three mansions in the ‘Billionaire Bunker’ area and he plans to demolish them to build one single megamansion. But don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll look really tasteful.

But Miami’s a long way from work, Jeff, you had the perfect commute, why’d move, Jeff? Well, why do billionaires do anything? Money.

Washington just upped their capital gains tax to 7% but Miami is way more welcoming to greedy bastards.

…sorry, sorry, I meant to say that Jeff moved to be closer to his in-laws. Yes, of course, sorry, that’s the real reason.

For more on this story, read this one: Bezos Sells Amazon Shares To Pay For Wedding, Narrowly Avoids Bankruptcy