Bill Fold | Wall Street Memes

Current richest man, Elon Musk, just Tweeted an X in response to a post that might just change your life… ok, probably not, but let’s hear it anyway.

“True. That is why Bitcoin is based on energy: you can issue fake fiat currency, and every government in history has done so, but it is impossible to fake energy.”

Now look, I can’t be bothered to look up what the original post was. They could have said, “Energy is gay,” and then Elon’s reply means something completely different.

Or maybe the OP said, “I’m going to blow up a school Elon Musk says it’s true that Bitcoin can’t be faked.” That would also mean something different.

But hey, we’ll never know so currently it just reads like Elon doesn’t know how anything works…

In an AI-written article summarising the story, CoinPedia summarises the point: “The line hits at a simple truth: governments can print money, but they can’t print energy. Does this give Bitcoin a huge advantage?”

Err… no, because governments do print energy, that’s exactly what governments do, they build, fund, and organise power plants, energy grids, power lines, etc. What are you talking about?

What do you mean you can’t fake energy? How, what, what, who, what could that possibly mean?

Fake what? It’s not the energy that’s possibly being faked. Energy is just energy. I’m so confused. I don’t understand what’s going on. Why is the world run by idiots?

Or maybe I’m the idiot? Maybe I don’t understand anything. Maybe I don’t know what’s going on. Who am I?

Where am I? What is energy? Am I a Bitcoin?

Trilogy Metals, $TMQ (you know them, right? Trilogy Metals, they’re famous, everyone knows Trilogy Metals) just had a 210% surge after the US government said they’d buy a 10% stake at $35.6m (million) dollars (US).

You obviously already know this, but Trilogy Metals is a Canadian minerals explorer listed in the US and Trump wants them to dig baby dig in Alaska. So a cheeky little investment was a sure thing AND DEFINITELY NOT INSIDER TRADING.

This ain’t the first time Trump’s trumped up a stock price after turning his eye on Sauron (not naming names, Intel) and it won’t be the last. Here’s our top ten list of stonks that US will invest in next:

10. OpenAI

No one wants the AI bubble to burst less than the US government and what better way to stop it than artificially jacking up their share price? Altman’s the man to watch.

9. SpaceX/Tesla

The rift hasn’t been healed but no doubt Elon will come crawling back begging for a government contract some time soon. Tesla and SpaceX are due for a boost.

8. Gold

Gold’s reached a massive ATH recently after people lost faith in the government. So what better way to renew faith in the government than buying up all the gold?

7. Pelosi Stock

It’s simple: Nancy knows what’s going to happen next because she’s got insider government knowledge. So if the government invests in the same stock she’s investing in then the money will just keep going up. Boom. Infinite money.

6. The US Government

You are your own best cheerleader. You’ve got to faith in yourself. You have to believe in yourself. So go on, turn off the phone, go out there and make something of yourself, son.

5. Trump Gold Premium NFTs

These are the most beautiful NFTs anyone’s ever seen, they’re premium and you’re gonna love ‘em, real gold, made ‘em myself and they’ll be worth millions in two days so buy ‘em now. Get ‘em today.

4. Pokémon Cards

The only investment that doesn’t depreciate. Reportedly, the US government has its eyes on water types and rare Squirtles.

3. Alphabet ($GOOGL)

They make Bing, right? Bing’s the best search engine. I use Bing for everything. Chandler Bing.

2. China

My enemy’s enemy is my friend and my enemy’s success is my failure but if I invest in my enemy and make them my friend then my enemy’s failure is my success. It’s simple math. I’m calling it, America will start buying 10% of all of China.

1. Reverse Cramer

Our number one spot is the only stock that really matters. Everything that Mad Money Jim Cramer says to do, do the opposite. 100% Trump’s going to get in on that action, just you wait and see.

Elon “The Richest Man In The World” Musk is now still the richest man in the world, but even more so this time after reaching a massive $500 billion valuation.

The news comes mere SECONDS after OpenAI announced that it was “worth $500 billion dollars too but we said it first!” Coincidence? I think yes.

Musk is the first person ever to be worth this amount of money for a single human because honestly I don’t think anyone until now thought numbers could even go up that high.

If you were to smush Jeff Bezos and Mark Zukerberg together to create a Jark Bukerzerg that Connenbergian monstrosity still wouldn’t be worked as much as the Musk.

Bezo-bby is worth $233.5 bil, and the Zuck is $245.7 billy. Wtf.

In fact, Musk gained half his value, $245 billion in just this year alone. And I think we can all agree that it was this year in particular that Elon Musk became twice as valuable as before.

Elon Musk Richest Man Tweet — Yes, all my info comes from this tweet, bite me.

FOR COMPARISON, when adjusted for inflation, the wealthiest people IN ALL OF HISTORY were 14th-century African emperor Mansa Musa at $548 billion. JD Rockefeller was $340 billion. Andrew Carnegie was $310 billion, so what are we even doing here?

Musk You Be So Rich?

Honestly at this point what do you even do with your life? Where else is there to go? No wonder he just spends his time Tweeting. SORRY, X-ing.

Who knows what’ll have next, is rocketman still rocketing or has he reached the edge of space? With the interest alone, my boy will be well on his way to a trilly by next week, and honestly, good luck to him.

If I were him I’d buy a country or something, oh wait, he already tried that and the country was called AMERICA.

For more Elon news, click here: Larry Ellison Briefly World’s Richest Man, Ruining Elon’s Killstreak

Intel’s struggling to stay afloat and has already sold off some 10% to the US Government (some how). Now it’s looking like their next biggest rival Nvidia will cut out a chunk from the company to the tune of $5 billion, about 4% of the company making it one of the largest shareholders.

I guess Nvidia doesn’t have a chip its shoulder…

Intel instantly got a boost from the purchase so that’s good but who’s to say if this represents the beginning of an upswing for the corp or it’s the start of the company being sold off for parts.

And honestly, I don’t know how this works, like, isn’t this a conflict of interest? I really don’t understand how any of this works. What am I doing here?

The new pact is for Intel and Nvidia to develop data centres together, hand in hand, like nothing ever happened.

This new alliance could represent a threat to rival chip makers AMD, TSMC, and KFC who might now face the combined might of the two biggest chip manufacturers combined.

Ooh, maybe they’ll rebrand, let’s brainstorm names:

INvidia

That’s quite could, no need to change the pronunciation or anything, smooth and easy.

Nvtel

Ngl, that’s pretty shit. Basically illegible. Not sure what we’re even achieving there.

Nvidiatel

The maximalist option. Corporate boring. 6/10.

Nvidia-Intel

Probably the option they’d actually go with. Boring. Sucks. I hate it.

Intel-Nvidia

Not going to happen. Nvidia have the power, 100% they’ll put themselves first.

Chip Boys

I’m just putting it out there, they should go with something else, something brand new no one’s expecting. My vote is Chip Boys, but Chip Brothers, Chip Men, something along those lines, that would be cool.

More on this story here: Trump Agrees To Billion-Dollar Saudi Chip Deal, Frito-Lay Stocks Max Out

Wait, really? Oh, ok then, hold on, I need to reassess my whole worldview…

Yeah, that’s right, while you guys were freaking out about stupid things like MONEY and STOCKS and BEING ABLE TO AFFORD YOUR NEXT MEAL Nasa have gone up there and only gone and found freaking LIFE ON MARS YOU BITCHES.

Ok, fine, they found some rocks that COULD show TRACES of MICROBIAL life that USED to be there but are now DEAD. So, we’re not going to be shaking hands with Marvin the Martian any time soon, but STILL! …It is pretty cool.

The rocks they found were at the bottom of an ancient riverbed and have distinctive leopard-spot markings that could be the product of minerals created by ancient Martian microbes. Those minerals could have been made by non-organic geological processes but shut up, that would be boring.

Wall Street Reacts

Wall Street didn’t react, they don’t care. But Redditors and amateur investors alike foresee a new gold rush.

“Forget to da moon, I’m going to da mars,” said one bullish rando. “Space stocks are gonna be huge and I’m getting in on the ground floor.”

Another armchair financial advisor was less optimistic, however, saying, “These space freaks don’t even pay taxes, what’s up with that? They should pay their fair share and stop freeloading off us hardworking Americans.”

Elpn Mush chimed in too saying that this was just one more reason to send missions to Mars and that he’s still the only guy to do it. SpaceX stocks are up one qua-billion dollars as of time of writing.

A potential manned mission to Mars however might be less likely given that human incursion could tamper with the signs of life that are already there. But I’m just guessing there, I literally don’t know.

MarsCoin and ELONDOGEMARS crypto-meme-shit-coins also hit it big after the announcement so congrats on the four idiots that held on to those then. Freaks.

For more space news, read this: Elon Musk Finally Buys Mars

Who’s Larry Ellison? Oh, the CEO of Oracle. What’s Oracle? Oh, it’s a software company, sorry, I’m just learning all this in real time. That’s crazy that this guy could become the richest man in the world and I’ve never heard of him. Maybe I should have, maybe it’s my job…

Anyway! Oracle’s shares surged 30% today, reaping the rewards from the AI boom and giving hope that maybe the bubble isn’t burst. Maiyyyyybai.

All this means that Oracle’s co-founder Larry has cashed in another $70 billion (!!!), ratcheting him up to $384 billion, making him the second richest man in the world. Watch your ass, Elon Musk.

Elon Musk who only has $20 billion more (‘only’ jesus christ), responded to the announcement, saying, “I will kill you, Larry. I will kill you. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”

If this trajectory continues, Larry would have the largest one-day increase ever recorded on the index. Obviously, the index doesn’t record everyone otherwise, they’ve give me the crown of largest one-day increase after my cousin Bogdan lent me $40, when I only had $4 at the time, so that’s a 10x increase right there.

Oracle’s mostly a cloud computing service and was late to pivot to AI, but was perfectly poised to use all its data centres for AI which is why we’re in this whole mess. Oracle person, Safra Catz (cool name) said that Oracle signed “four multibillion-dollar contracts with three different customers” in the three months to the end of August. So yeah, mega bucks.

More about Larry? Ok, sure. He owns a tennis tournament (how?). He owns an island, like 98% of the Hawaiian island Lanai. You know, classic rich guy shit. He originally made Oracle as a CIA database. He was an early investor in Tesla so has a 1.4% stake which means he’s 1.4% bleeding Elon dry.

So yeah, are we going to have a new random rich guy that we’re going to have to learn about? Maybe he’ll buy a social media? Maybe he’ll run for president? Who knows! The sky’s the limit when you’re a rich. There is literally nothing that is illegal for you.

For more tech news, Don’t Invest In OpenAi Says OpenAI, Wait, What?

Gold has reached an ATH (all-time highest amount), rising to over $3,500 an ounce for the second time, making it one of the most precious metals in the world.

The boost comes after Donald J. Trump (the president) started fresh beef with the Federal Reserve Chair Head, Jerome Powell, and threatened to fire Lisa Cook. Coupled with inflation and renewed tariffic uncertainty, investors are now, for the first time ever, turning to gold as the new “gold standard”.

Some are now saying that gold is “worth its weight in gold”; however, others are saying that it’s not. Only time (and this set of old-timey scales) will tell.

In a matter of weeks, gold-and-gold-related products might reach $4,000. Which is a lot of money to spend on golds if you’re really not planning on doing anything with it.

The dollar was once the stable currency global investors could rely on. Now, with the volatility of the dollar (dollatility if you will), investors are turning to the far more stable and never fluctuating gold for investment opportunities.

Good Old Gold

Gold has long been popular amongst money people not only because it’s shiny but also because, unlike other currencies, it’s real.

Metal buffs will tell you that gold is one of the most golden-colored metals ever discovered. When first discovered, gold prospectors saw gold as rare because they hadn’t found much of it yet.

Since then, however, much more gold has been discovered, mostly in the ground. Gold owners across the world have attempted to make gold more valuable by naming expensive things like memberships and casinos after the metal.

Only now has this investment finally paid off, making fictional characters such as Goldfinger and Scrooge McDuck over night millionaires worth millions if not billions.

For more on this story, click here over there somewhere…

Yeah, OpenAI isn’t publicly traded yet so don’t even try it. If you want to, you need the company’s written consent. Now a lot of people haven’t got that memo so OpenAI has had to write a blog post EXPLAINING to you MORONS that anyone trying to sell you OpenAI shares is a scammer.

By the way, do you want to buy some OpenAI shares? Hmu.

It’s a specific type of scam that’s becoming a new gold rush. They’re called special purpose vehicles or SPVs which allow multiple people to by shares in one transaction. When unauthorized, yeah, that’s a scam.

Bad actors will claim to have big stocks to sell in buzzy companies like OpenAI, charge an extortionate transaction fee then run off with your money before you can realise that they never had any such stocks in the first place.

Sam Altman’s company clarified that, “not every offer of OpenAI equity (or exposure to it) is problematic,” just, you know, most. “If so, the sale will not be recognized and carry no economic value to you.” Unless you collect scams, in which case, hmu.

But yeah, avoid these, they are obviously illegal.

You know what else is illegal? Running a not-for-profit company for profit. Not that I’m looking at anyone in particular. It’s not like OpenAI is now valued at $500 billion dollars in money or anything.

This is a 66.7% increase from the previous $300 billion valuation, making it the most valuable startup in the world, says ChatGPT.

SpaceX is currently the most valuable start-up in the world at $350 billion, with ByteDance valued at $315 billion (can we even call these start-ups at this point? My cousin Denneth sells homemade pogs out of this garage, now THAT’S a start-up).

As ChatGPT explains, OpenAl plans a multi-billion-dollar secondary sale in which current and former employees would be able to cash out their stock options.

ChatGPT also explained that OpenArtificialIntelligence is pretty cool and a great place to work and definitely worth $500 billion dollars worth of money if you’re in the market.

Half a trillion dollars seems like a wild amount of money, but let’s look at the facts. AI is huge business right now. We’re in the middle of an AI boom, in case you hadn’t noticed. Weekly ChatGPT users are now at 700 million, Meta is going all in on their AI department, and Google now has an AI mode so that Denneth’s Homemade Pogs Dot Com isn’t even listed anymore.

Heck, I think the king of the tech landscape as we see it, OpenAI SHOULD be given all the money. $500 billion? For holding up the entire economy? Nay, country, nay, America? Phhhff, I think it’s worth infinite money. In fact, we should give them infinite money. In fact, we should all make a pledge to give our lives to OpenAI for the rest of time. WHEN WE DIE OPENAI SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SCAN OUR BRAINS TO HELP TRAIN THEIR LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS.

(This article was written by ChatGPT.)

Like, just take a look at this crazy story: Elon Musk Makes Compelling New Offer For OpenAI: “I’ll Leave You Alone”

Alphabet (Google) just unveiled its brand new Pixel 10 Pro Fold that’s like a regular phone but it folds in half. No wait, you’re not hearing me. What I’m saying is that you can use one half for a keyboard and another half for a screen. This is ground breaking and it’s only $2000 dollars (rounded up).

Sure, you’re paying a lot for something that you had back in 2005 and without the Hello Kitty decals, but this one has AI, so shut up. Yeah, all the other specks are basically like the last Pixel but the real game changer ain’t the flip, no, it’s that it’s waterproof. Yeah, that’s right. Now you can accidentally drop it in the bathtub whilst showering all you like and save a FORTUNE on rice.

Flip phones might seem like a fad, but everyone’s getting in on it. Samsung’s got one, Apple’s rumored to be developing a foldable iPad called the iBedsheet. So maybe this is the future. It’s exciting, we’ve not seen much innovation in this sector since Bill Jobs stood on stage and said, “What if all phones were the same brick of void forever?”

But Google’s Pixel has the drop on all those contenders thanks to a brand new feature. Whilst previously it was impossible to fold a sheet of phone in half more than seven times, the Pixel 10 Pro Fold can be folded as many times as you like. You can even use it to make origami birds. The Pixel won’t work after that of course, but that’s by the by.

The new phone ships on October 9th. Good luck finding a phone case.

(This article was in no way sponsored, funded, endorsed or even winked at by Google. I won’t make any money if you go buy one, I promise. I’m genuinely just out here interested in phones. Shoot me.)

For more tech news, click here: Google Simultaneously Unveils And Doesn’t Unveil Quantum Chip

Jim Powell might be under threat from another Jim, one James B. Bullard, who today said, “Rates are a bit high right now, and I think we can get down about 100 basis points by 2026. I think that’ll start with a rate reduction here at the September meeting.” Well, someone just became Trump’s new top pick for Fed Chair.

The former St. Louis Fed President (what is that, a basketball team?) also said that he’d been in touch with Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent for a meeting after Labor Day, which is obviously an interview, like, surely.

Powell’s term expires in mid-May and will likely be replaced if not before then. Perdue Dean, Bullard has been tapped as a frontrunner for the job mainly because Trump hasn’t found a reason to hate him yet.

If Bullard doesn’t get the job, Trump and Bessent have a long list of contenders to pick from, including fan favorite, Fed Gov. Chris Walker.

But those are the boring options. To see who’s REALLY going to be the next Fed Chair, read our ranked list of TOP 10 PICKS TO REPLACE POWELL below:

(Honorable mention) JD Vance – The Backup Backup Option

Ehh, ok, fine, if we really have to, like if we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel, I guess he’ll do. I GUESS WE COULD SETTLE. I mean, he doesn’t have much on his plate. He’s not that busy, he could probs do the Fed on the side. Not well, mind you, not a good job, but he’d do A job, sure.

JD seems a great replacement, considering that Powell is “an average-minded person” with a “low IQ for what he does,” according to Donald Trump.

10. No One – Better Than JD

Now, this is the most controversial take, but do we even need a chair? Can’t we just sit on the floor? It’s long been the belief of notable economists like me that the Fed can just run itself. If anything, it would be an improvement from that good-for-nothing POWELL.

9. SBF – Pronounced “essbeef”

Sam Bankman-Fried has done more than enough to prove his financial chops. Hell, he’s got ‘bank’ in his name, who better to lead the finances of this country? Now, there is the little matter of the whole ‘prison’ thing, but that’s nothing that a bit of presidential pardoning can’t fix.

8. Kanye – West

…West, that is. He’s a loose cannon. A renegade. And you know what? Maybe that’s exactly what the fed needs right now. Sure, there was that whole thing with his cousin and with the Nazis and, yes, he ran against Trump but my enemies enemy is my friend and a friend in Ye is a friend indeed.

7. Tiffany Fong – Who?

Oh, the crypto influencer that Elon offered to have a child with. Yeah, sure, why not, throw her into the mix. The important thing is that we make HEADLINES. Ok?

6. Barron – ‘Trump’, not ‘Oil’

Now, Barron’s a good kid. Maybe the best kid. And he knows his crypto more than anyone. He’s talking about crypto, he’s a fan, he knows how to use his wallet. What’s a wallet? Well, he’s using it. So he’s a good pick.

5. Scrooge McDuck – Money Man (Duck)

If anyone understands money, it’s a man with a giant pile of money in his house. Now that’s the kind of guy I want in charge of interest rates, that’s for sure.

4. An AI Tesla Bot – If Elon Can Bury The Hatchet

Picture this: no more Jay Powell AND Tesla stock goes up with a ground-breaking tech demo, all in one move. He’s lean, he’s mean, he’s a fighting machine what else would you build a robot for but managing the federal reserve? This ain’t ‘Mr. Too Late’ this ain’t no ‘Major Loser’ this is advanced robotics at the cutting edge.

3. Jerome Powell – He’s Back, Baby!

A late entry to the field, this is a completely different Jerome Powell, absolutely no relation to the previous JP. Yes, he looks very similar, but this Jerome has a large mustache, so it can’t be the same one.

2. Eric Trump – Maybe The Real Powell Was The Friends We Made Along The Way

Eric Trump is well known for not really being that well known, so it’s a good choice after every other family member that Trump had in his inner circle got burned by the first administration. Other than moving some money around when maybe he shouldn’t have and then got caught, Eric has basically zero financial experience, which makes him perfect for the role. He also enjoys skiing.

1. Donald Trump – The Front Runner

In the top spot, I know, it seems like a curveball, but when you think about it, it makes sense. Who better to follow through on Donald Trump’s wishes than Donald Trump himself? Who’s least likely to get fired by Donald Trump than Donald Trump? Who’s got the business, pork, and financial chops to take the US economy to the next level? And let’s be honest, if Trump could, we all know he would.

And there we have it! Those are our top five picks for the role. We’ll see how things play out, but let us know what you think! Message me personally at my home address hidden in the code for this website.

For a secret bonus option, read this: Hawk Tuah To Replace Jerome Powell as Fed Chairman

Latest news

Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?

Trump Just Delivered A Record-Breaking State Of Union, Here’s How Wall Street Reacted

Nvidia’s Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here’s Everything That Could Go Down

Home Sellers Now Outnumber Buyers By 600,000, Are We Getting The Big Short 2?

US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn’t Just The Trade War…

Bitcoin Is Down 50%, Here’s Why Everyone’s Pulling Out Of Crypto

Related Articles

Pen Smith • February 12, 2026

Elon To Build A Giant Catapult On The Moon, Has He Gone Full Bond Villain?

Ima Short • February 9, 2026

Elon Says America Is ‘1,000% Going To Go Bankrupt’ And He’s The Only One With The Secret Solution

Pen Smith • February 5, 2026

Top 10 Elon Musk Cameos! From Iron Man 2 To The Epstein Files

Latest news

Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?

Trump Just Delivered A Record-Breaking State Of Union, Here’s How Wall Street Reacted

Nvidia’s Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here’s Everything That Could Go Down

Home Sellers Now Outnumber Buyers By 600,000, Are We Getting The Big Short 2?

US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn’t Just The Trade War…

Bitcoin Is Down 50%, Here’s Why Everyone’s Pulling Out Of Crypto

Bill Fold• October 14, 2025D

Elon Just Dropped A Bomb About Bitcoin, Here’s What He Said

Bill Fold• D

Elon Just Dropped A Bomb About Bitcoin, Here’s What He Said

Trending News

Latest news

Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?

Trump Just Delivered A Record-Breaking State Of Union, Here’s How Wall Street Reacted

Nvidia’s Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here’s Everything That Could Go Down

Home Sellers Now Outnumber Buyers By 600,000, Are We Getting The Big Short 2?

US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn’t Just The Trade War…

Bitcoin Is Down 50%, Here’s Why Everyone’s Pulling Out Of Crypto

10. OpenAI

9. SpaceX/Tesla

8. Gold

7. Pelosi Stock

6. The US Government

5. Trump Gold Premium NFTs

4. Pokémon Cards

3. Alphabet ($GOOGL)

2. China

1. Reverse Cramer

Related Articles

Marge Incall • February 25, 2026

Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?

Marge Incall • February 24, 2026

Nvidia’s Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here’s Everything That Could Go Down

Ima Short •

US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn’t Just The Trade War…

Latest news

Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?

Trump Just Delivered A Record-Breaking State Of Union, Here’s How Wall Street Reacted

Nvidia’s Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here’s Everything That Could Go Down

Home Sellers Now Outnumber Buyers By 600,000, Are We Getting The Big Short 2?

US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn’t Just The Trade War…

Bitcoin Is Down 50%, Here’s Why Everyone’s Pulling Out Of Crypto

Bill Fold• October 7, 2025D

$TMQ Surged 210% On Gov’t Stake, Here’s 10 Other Stocks On The Watch List…

Bill Fold• D

$TMQ Surged 210% On Gov’t Stake, Here’s 10 Other Stocks On The Watch List…

Trending News