Marge Incall | Wall Street Memes

Elon Musk’s lawsuit against OpenAI has been overturned by a jury that says he waited too long to bring his grievance to trial.

…Couldn’t they have said that from the start? Or were they also waiting just to prove a point?

Musk was fighting OpenAI’s transition into a for-profit company following his ousting in 2018. But during the trial, OpenAI’s current CEO, Sam Altman, alleged that Elon was for the idea.

“A particularly hair-raising moment was when my co-founders asked, ‘If you have control, what happens when you die?’” Altman explained. Elon then “said something like, ‘maybe it should pass to my children.’”

Well, now nothing’s passing to anyone anyway, as all of that (and the three weeks of testimonials) was apparently hypothetical because the case has been thrown out on a “calendar technicality” (as Elon describes it).

Elon says he plans to fight the case on appeal, but after a judge and jury have sided against him, it’s unlikely that he’d win a rematch.

An Open(AI) And Shut Case

So what does this mean for the wider tech world?

Well, the ruling means OpenAI won’t have any more roadblocks in its transition into a fully for-profit company, enabling it to keep its place as a flagship AI company.

Sorry, Grok.

Had the lawsuit been successful, however, it would be a very different story. Altmans’ OpenAI might easily have been hangstrung with a purely not-for-profit remit and be forced to step out of the AI spotlight.

That vacuum could have then left room for companies like Anthropic, Microsoft, or Google to take on its market share.

So the impact of this lawsuit is less about what’s happened and more about the scenario that’s been prevented from happening: OpenAI won’t revert to nonprofit status, ChatGPT can continue in its push towards profitability, and Elon likely won’t regain the reins any time soon.

But in an alternate universe where Elon won, the tech world would have been changed forever. Would XAI, sorry, SpaceXAI, have taken the place of OpenAI is this crazy future? Well, I guess thanks to this court case, we’ll never know.

But he would say that, wouldn’t he?

Microsoft AI’s CEO, Mustafa Suleyman, recently predicted that white-collar workers might see themselves replaced within just 18 months.

Suleyman did not clarify whether his job was first on the chopping block, but he did look a little nervous as he said, “human-level performance on most, if not all professional tasks” will be done by AI.

Legal, marketing, and project management roles are particularly vulnerable, according to Mustafa, but “anyone writing financial satire is completely irreplaceable”. Huh, weirdly specific shout-out at the end there…

But it won’t just be white-collar workers affected by this change. For example, white-collar shirt manufacturer ‘Whitey Tighty Ltd.’ has spoken out against the news.

“If AI is going to take white-collar jobs, then who will buy all our white collars?” complained Arnold Whitey with tears in his eyes. “What’s that? ‘We could switch to making blue collars?’ What, are you sick? I spit on you. Never in a million years.”

White-collar? More like, wh-AI-te coll-AI-r, amiright?

Of course, the CEO of an AI company might not be completely impartial when he says that AI is ‘pretty powerful, actually.’

A study from the non-profit METR (Model Evaluation and Threat Research) found that AI actually made software developers’ tasks take 20% longer. And while you might have already seen headlines of entire job roles becoming AI-automated, some of these rumors may have been greatly exaggerated.

For example, early this year, Jack Dorsey’s latest startup, ‘Block’, fired 4,000 employees and said it was due to AI, when really they just overhired during COVID.

So is this more AI hype, or will 50%-60% of the global workforce be gone in the space of a year and a half?

CoPilot: Set an alert, ‘Am I fired yet?’ for 18 months.

I’ll get back to you then.

Back in 2018, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman paid a $10,000 deposit to ‘Nectome’, a tech startup looking to preserve people’s brains in the hope that they can one day be uploaded to a computer.

Unlike cryogenic freezing, which is designed to preserve the whole body, Nectome plans to embalm just the brain with aldehyde-stabilised cryopreservation. The brain can’t be unfrozen, but by freezing the neurons in place, Nectome hopes that the brain’s ‘connectome’, and therefore the person’s mind, can be recreated digitally in the future.

As Nectome describes it, they are “archiving your mind.”

But the controversial part is that, unlike cryogenics, the process isn’t done once the person’s dead; the process is done while the person is alive, and it’s “100 percent fatal.”

The company’s co-founder, Robert McIntyre, said the process would feel “identical to physician-assisted suicide.” But, err, how does he know?

More like, Sam Altered-man

According to early reports, Mr. Altman joined a 25-person waiting list with his investment. That deposit is refundable; however, perhaps if Sam decides he doesn’t want to live forever, actually.

However, later reporting clarified that the “waiting list” was in fact 30 “early supporters” of the project who hadn’t been promised anything. However, as McIntyre candidly explains, “Product-market fit is people believing that it works.”

‘Belief’ is the keyword there because if it doesn’t work, they’ll never actually know and literally kill themselves for no reason.

For reference, scientists have only been able to recreate the complete connectomes of fruit flies and worms. But Nectome investors are clearly hopeful that the upward trajectory of the research will one day enable scientists to recreate an entire human mind digitally.

It’s a massive gamble, but hey, the other option is certain death, so maybe $10,000 is a worthwhile bet.

Either way, we’ll probably never know if it pays off.

The mayor of the California city of Arcadia, Eileen Wang, suddenly resigned from her position this week after the Department of Justice charged her with “one count of acting in the United States as an illegal agent” of China.

When reached for comment, the DoJ declined to explain what a ‘legal agent of China’ might be.

The former mayor has pleaded guilty to the felony charge and could face up to 10 years in prison. Now that might seem harsh, but ‘up to’ does mean that ‘zero years in prison’ is still on the cards. She could face ‘up to a billion years in prison’ and be fine. Hopefully, she’s a glass-half-full kind of person.

Before taking office, Wang ran a local Chinese American news website with her then-fiancé, Yaoning “Mike” Sun. According to the plea deal, her website regularly posted propaganda from the People’s Republic of China. Not a good look.

In one example, a PRC official sent Wang a pre-written news article in a WeChat chat.

The article read, “China’s Stance on the Xinjiang Issue – There is no genocide in Xinjiang; there is no such thing as ‘forced labor’ in any production activity, including cotton production. Spreading such rumor to do defame China, destroy Xinjiang’s safety and stability, weaken local economy, suppress China’s development.”

Persuasive stuff.

Within minutes, Wang had posted the article on her website, ‘US News Center’, and received a “So fast, thank you everyone,” from the PRC official.

So, all in all, it’s not really what you want from your local mayor.

This story comes in the wake of the breaking news that Donald Trump is planning a crucial diplomatic trip to China, hoping to secure a trillion-dollar investment in American manufacturing. Trump brings with him a long list of tech CEOs and investors, including Elon Musk, Larry Fink, Tim Cook, and executives from Boeing, Meta, and Visa.

Eileen Wang unfortunately did not make the guest list.

Jerome Powell just made his final address as Fed Chair and surprise, surprise… he held the rates as is (between 3.5% and 3.75%).

Now that’s enough on its own to upset President Trump, but Jay Powell also revealed in his speech that he plans to stay on the board of the Fed until at least 2028 when his term expires.

Powell cited the probe into him and the bank as the reason for his need to stay. “I’ve said that I will not leave the board until this investigation is well and truly over with transparency and finality, and I stand by that.” How very handy.

This means JP will have a say in future interest rates and Fed policy. Sounds like the Powell-shaped hole in Trump’s head isn’t going anywhere.

The President responded to the news saying that Powell was only staying because he “can’t get a job anywhere else.” Which is probably true, what company would want to start beef with the most powerful man in the world by hiring his arch nemesis?

As for the rest of the speech, Powell highlighted the need for central bank independence in a subtle dig at the ongoing attacks from Trump.

“We just work directly for the American people,” said Jay. “We don’t think, oh, I want to do this because the president says it’s a good idea, or because there’s an election coming up and I want to speed up or slow down the economy. This isn’t bipartisan. This is nonpartisan.”

Sorry, did I say ‘subtle’? I meant ‘very direct’.

The front runner for Powell’s chair next month is still Kevin Warsh, who just won the backing of a key Senate committee. And since Warsh has already said he’d fight to keep the Fed’s independence, it looks like the Trump vs. Fed cage fight isn’t ending any time soon.

I’ll go get some more popcorn.

The OpenAI trial has begun and just one day in, it’s already generating some interesting quotes.

For anyone not following, this is the civil lawsuit in which the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, alleges that OpenAI and its CEO, Sam Altman, tricked him out of the company that he cofounded.

Sorry, not ‘company,’ ‘charity’. The crux of the suit is that Altman allegedly took the not-for-profit, for-profit and Elon now wants the clock turned back.

So just what are these crazy revelations from day one of the trial of the century?

Well, firstly Elon explained that we should be careful about AI because “It could kill us all.” Cool, well, that fills me with confidence.

The Iron Man 2 co-star then pivoted to chatting movies saying, “We don’t want to have a Terminator outcome. We want to be in a Gene Roddenberry outcome, like Star Trek. Not so much a James Cameron movie like Terminator.”

Good point. Other than the existence of the Borg, that’s a very good point.

Maybe the most interesting revelation is that Musk pins the entire existence of OpenAI to one conversation with Google co-founder Larry Page. According to Elon, in 2015 Page said that AI would bring about a utopia but Elon worried that he wasn’t considering the risks.

“The reason OpenAI exists is because Larry Page called me a ‘specieist’,” said Musk to the judge and jury. I’m assuming by ‘specieist’ Page meant Elon was anti AI and pro humanity, not just massively racist against koalas or something.

But how is this retrospective mud-slinging relevant to the OpenAI case? Well, going out on a limb, it seems like Musk is painting the narrative that OpenAI was built to be the antidote to unregulated AI development. That’s why it was originally conceived as a non-profit.

Now it’s evolved into its for-profit form, however OpenAI has courted the US government and been continually looking for ways to monetize its flagship product ChatGPT.

Elon wants a u-turn on that direction and has brought this suit to trial to try and make that happen.

We’ll just have to watch and see if he succeeds or if the Borg really do take over (that’s a Star Trek reference).

Ladies and gentlemen, take your seats, the trial of the century is about to begin! In the red corner: it’s billionaire champion of the world Elon Musk! Aaaaand in the other corner: it’s Sam Altman!!!

Yes, Musk and Altman are locking heads in a court case that could decide the fate of AI and therefore humanity…

So Elon’s (civilly) suing OpenAI for not keeping themselves a charitable non-profit as originally intended. OpenAI call the lawsuit “baseless” …but they are planning an IPO, right?

Musk left the board in 2018 and started rival AI company xAI five years later which then merged with SpaceX and now that’s up for a record-breaking IPO.

For Sam’s part, after a public falling out with Musk, OpenAI’s co-founder took over as CEO in 2019 and has been a public champion for the company and AI in general.

In the lawsuit, which begins tomorrow, Musk claims he was “assiduously manipulated” and “deceived” and is seeking $134 billion in “wrongful gains” although he wants those funds to go back into OpenAI. Elon also wants Altman and OpenAI’s president Greg Brockman removed from the board.

We’ll see how things play out but jury selection was already off to a tetchy start with a number of jurors confessing negative views on Musk and Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers admitting that “the reality is people don’t like him.”

Err, we sure that’s not going to sway things just a little bit?

While Sam Altman has yet to speak out on the case directly, Elon took to X to post his thoughts:

So we’ll see how all this plays out but in one scenario OpenAI has a new leader and becomes non-profit again, genuinely changing the course of AI and potentially humanity.

Exciting times.

Look, this is good news really, I know philosophers are often seen as useless, but when big tech has dived in headfirst into maybe the most complex moral and existential waters humanity has ever faced, it seems insane in hindsight that they didn’t think to hire a lifeguard.

But then on the other hand to some extent it’s more AI hype, like, AI is not conscious, it’s not intelligent and hiring a philosopher could just be a marketing strategy to signal to investors that yeah, we’re on the brink of human-level intelligence here.

But hopefully this is an exception, because if anyone needs a philosopher on board it might be the morally suggestible ChatGPT.

The philosopher in question is Henry Shevlin, former associate director at the University of Cambridge’s Leverhulme Centre for the Future of Intelligence.

Writing on LinkedIn Shevlin said, “It’s a rare privilege to work on questions I’ve spent my career thinking about, now with the resources and urgency that come with being inside one of the world’s leading AI labs.”

So, why is this terrifying? Well, I guess the placement implies AI is super sophisticated and needs reigning in by a philosopher. But that could all just be hype.

Oh, sorry, we’re just talking about the cartoon movie here, not the James Cameron, blue aliens one. Was that not clear? Hey, don’t blame me I didn’t name two fantasy franchises the exact same name…

Anyways, yeah, this is the story that the upcoming Nickelodeon movie based on that cartoon TV show called Avatar (that I thought everyone had moved on from) just got leaked, maybe from a hack.

Sorry, sorry, I know you’re still confused, so just to make it clear, we’re not talking about Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005), Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024), Avatar: Seven Havens (2027), The Last Airbender (2010), Avatar (2009), Avatar: The Shape of Water (2022), Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025), no, we’re talking about Avatar: Aang, The Last Airbender (2026).

It’s a cartoon movie sequel to the original TV show and it’s not out yet but two clips have been posted to social media well before any official material has been released.

Claiming credit is a hacker group named PeggleCrew and a leaker called @ImStillDissin who says that Nickelodeon accidentally emailed him the full movie and script. So I guess this was a phishing scam then?

The clips have since been copyright striked and taken down but not before Mr. Dissin could issue a threat for Paramount (Nickelodeon’s parent company) to release a trailer or else he’ll “I’ll livestream the entire movie alongside some Peggle Deluxe gameplay.”

So we’ll just have to wait and see if the threat is hollow or not or if Paramount capitulates but probs they’ll just ignore this publicly and have some lawyers on it in the background.

Paramount could not be reached for comment.

It’s a crazy time we live in, huh?

Iran is planning to require ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz a toll in Bitcoin in what would be a major move away from the US’s control of the economics of that area for now maybe.

Bitcoin is obviously up following the news, rising above $72,500. Maybe Trump’s massive investment into Bitcoin was him playing 4D chess all along.

It’s a big deal because people are talking about how America has this leverage over the global economy because the dollar is the reserve currency. Obviously places like Iran and China don’t want that and now Iran’s holding all the cards they have the political sway to kneecap the dollar.

Here’s an idea though. Maybe rather than Bitcoin or dollars or yuan, why don’t we try something else, why don’t we use buttons?

Now here me out.

Firstly, everyone has buttons, everyone owns buttons so you’ve got a good supply there. They have a practical usage as well because they hold up my pants which dollars don’t do so you’re already winning there.

Buttons already look like coins so you won’t be needing to change slot machines or anything like that.

Buttons have holes in the middle so if you wanted to you could tie them together and keep your money safe like that.

Buttons are much lighter than coins or gold so you can have fun with them there.

Buttons come in all sorts of shapes and sizes so that’s more fun for you there.

Anyways, yeah, what I’m saying is we should go for the petrobutton. Iran should be demanding buttons not Bitcoin. It’s the currency of the future.

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