Trump Bans Taco Tuesday

President Donald Trump has officially banned Taco Tuesday, calling it a “deep state psyop,” “a globalist ploy to weaken American hamburgers,” and “nothing to do with that name people are calling me.”

The executive order came following #TACO started trending on X, an acronym for ‘Trump always chickens out’ referring to how he often pulls out of his tariffs, settles out of court and how he really likes to eat chicken tacos.

Speaking from the Oval Office, Trump told reporters, “Taco Tuesday? Terrible. Frankly, Tuesday is for Americans, not for Mexican food. We’re going to change it and it’s going to be called American Tuesday, how do you like the sound of that? You like that, don’t you, Jonny you commie fuck. So it’s American Tuesday, Hot dogs. Maybe a McChicken. Who knows. But not tacos.”

The executive order, signed with a Sharpie on the back of a Mar-a-Lago cocktail napkin, declares that: “Effective immediately, any Tuesday taco consumption will be considered unpatriotic, punishable by death.”

Markets React: Chipotle Stock Tanks, Margaritas Plummet

Wall Street didn’t take the news well. Chipotle (NYSE: CMG) shares dropped 11% at the opening bell, with panicked investors selling off queso futures and pivoting to “Build-Your-Own-Burrito” ETFs.

Meanwhile, margarita coin (MARG), the unofficial memecoin of Taco Tuesday, nosedived 74% after Elon Musk tweeted a crying emoji and a GIF of a sombrero catching fire.

Social Media Meltdown

X is ablaze with outrage and memes. #TacoTuesdayBan trended #1, just above #GuacGate and #FreeTheSalsa. Influencers posted protest videos eating tacos in defiance, with one viral clip showing a bald eagle swooping down and stealing a taco from a protester in D.C. “Even the birds know this is wrong,” the caption read.

AOC responded with a TikTok explaining that tacos are “intersectional, empowering, and delicious.” Trump replied with a Truth Social post calling her “the Guac Queen of Communism.”

Either way, Trump’s ban has failed to quash dissenters from mocking their leader in chief so he’s hoping the President might bring back the rich American tradition that is Taco Tuesdays soon.

For more food-related political news, click here: Trump Agrees To Billion-Dollar Saudi Chip Deal, Frito-Lay Stocks Max Out