All Republicans Ejected From Trump Address For Chanting U.S.A. Too Loudly

Every single member of the republican party was removed from the House Chamber this Tuesday after disrupting President Trump’s Address to Congress by whooping and chanting “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” repeatedly.

House Speaker Mike Johnson banged his gavel and instructed the Republicans to “Uphold and maintain decorum in the House and to cease and further disruptions” multiple times. However, the representatives were simply too excited by Trump’s words and had to be forcibly removed from the chamber by the sergeant at arms.

The chanting and cheers continued as the republican representatives resisted their ejection in what many are now calling “reverse January 6th”.

“I don’t know why we were kicked out, sure they were disruptions, but they were positive disruptions,” explained Senator Ted Cruz outside the Capitol. “Yes, I was chanting at the top of my lungs but how could you not? It’s not everyday you get to meet your second favorite president.”

When Trump was finally able to continue highlighting his accomplishments, Rep. Johnson noted that Democrats were also disruptive by engaging in subtle and not so subtle protests against the president. Some held up signs saying, “MUSK STEALS”, “SAVE MEDICAID” and “I LIKE ROCKS” (but that last one might have been about something else) whilst others wore pink or the colors of the Ukrainian flag which really clash.

The House Speaker then called for all these members to ejected from the chamber as well and finally Rep. Johnson ejected himself for banging his gavel too loudly. This left the building entirely empty but for Trump.

Undeterred, the president continued his speech to an empty room. It is unclear what was said as no one was their to witness it. Republicans are now stumped as to what to do policy-wise as the popular riddle asks, “If a Trump makes a speech in an empty congress hall and no one is there to hear it, do his tariffs still apply?”

Rep. Al Green’s whereabouts remain unknown although he is now presumed dead.

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