Trump To Open Disco After Musical Town Hall

OAKS, PA – Donald Trump has revealed plans to open a disco in the ‘swing’ state of Pennsylvania riding the success of his DJ set at a recent rally in which two people fainted.

Half an hour into the former president’s town hall, an attendee fainted due to the high temperatures inside the expo center. When the event’s moderator suggested the attendees sit down to avoid further incidents, Trump encouraged everyone to stand up and dance.

“Let’s not do any more questions,” said Trump. “Let’s just listen to music. Let’s make it into a music fest.” He then insisted on playing guaranteed floor-fillers, nothing but wall-to-wall bangers, real toe-tappers such as ‘Ave Maria’, ‘Hallelujah’, ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, and ‘Time To Say Goodbye’. Invigorated by these sick beats the crowd gently swayed back and forth, mumbling the half-remembered lyrics while Trump stood silently on stage for 39 minutes watching everyone slowly leave.

It was this electric energy that has inspired Trump to enter the music biz. Trump envisions a building in which it’s always a music fest. A ‘club’, if you will, that opens at ‘night’, a ‘nightclub’, for disco dancing, a ‘disco’, if you will. A place where people can dance and sing along to their favorite upbeat hits such as Jonny Cash’s ‘Hurt’, ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ and ‘Royalty Free Funeral March Number 4’.

The purpose-built nightclub, dubbed, ‘Truth Social Club’ is due to break ground next week so voters can break down before the election. Attractions will include indoor crazy golf, voting booths, and a bar serving water and orange juice to keep the atmosphere going. Paramedics will of course be on hand should any other medical emergencies occur.

Trump has already guaranteed a personal appearance to show off moves such as the ‘fist pump’ and the ‘Trump weave’ and suggested he might be able to persuade JD to DJ.

Fourteen notable music artists have already come out to object to the project, preparing pre-emptive cease and desist letters should Club Trump-icano play any of their songs. In the case of any successful lawsuit, the disco may be forced to revert to playing non-stop Kid Rock.

Trump has suggested that potential licensing issues could be worked around by using exclusively parody soundalikes such as, ‘I’m Still Standing (Despite Two Assassination Attempts)’, ‘Water-Felon Sugar’, ‘Smooth-ish Criminal’ and ‘Trump Up The Jam’.

Should Trump lose the presidential race he has hinted he might dedicate himself to managing the club full time. In the case he does win the presidency, however, Trump has stated that he will dedicate himself to managing the club full-time.