Jack Nicholson Comes Out Of Retirement To Play Future Attorney General Mark Gaetz

Acclaimed actor, Jack Nicholson has announced he has been forced to end his retirement prematurely following Donald Trump’s selection of Mark Gaetz for attorney general.

Nicholson has been playing the part of Gaetz for years but only ever saw the role as a side hobby according to Nicholson’s PR manager, Forston Bowls.

“Gaetz would only pop up every now and then for a spicy congressional hearing or a sex-crime investigation so it wasn’t that much of a commitment for Jack,” explains Bowls. “But now that this character will be attorney general, Jack’s pissed, he’s going to have to go back to acting full time.”

Nicholson’s performance as the congressman has earned near-universal acclaim, winning a Lifetime Achievement Oscar and a Kid’s Choice award for “Favorite Pretend Politician” narrowly beating out Meryl Streep as Nancy Pelosi.

“I think he enjoyed the challenge,” continued Bowls. “Becoming completely immersed in a character is any actor’s dream. For this role, he only needed minimal prosthetics which was ideal. I’m still amazed so many people believe he’s a real person and not just a performance.”

Many still dispute the claim that Gaetz is Jack Nicholson with multiple ‘friends’ and ‘family members’ coming out to say, “No he just looks like that.” …but they’re probably actors too.

Ok, so maybe Gaetz just has an odd face and well, then we shouldn’t make fun of people for how they look, they can’t control it. Unless they can… Unless Gaetz’s crazy eyebrows aren’t the result of genetics or method actor Jack Nicholson in disguise but are because of some botched botox. And if Gaetz himself has repeatedly made fun of other people for their appearance then maybe… maybe he’s fair game?

No, it’s still not ok to make fun of people for their appearance, instead we should make fun of other things like the sex trafficking allegations which Gaetz has handly avoided by resigning from Congress to head up the organization that is investigating him. A move that is now known as ‘the Trump’.

Jack Nicholson has denied all allegations.