KAZAN, RUSSIA – Vladimir Putin has gathered over 20 friendly heads of state at his secret lair to devise devious deceits to bring down the West and everything it stands for.
Among the leaders are China’s Xi Jinping, Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian, US billionaire Lex Luthor and the telepathic evil monkey, Gorilla Grodd.
With the summit Putin aims to demonstrate that Russian sanctions are ineffective and there is nothing that Superman or any kind of man for that matter can do to stop them.
BRICS stands for Brazil, Russia, India and South Africa, so really it should be ‘BRICSA’ but that’s not a word so they couldn’t do that. Although Egypt, Ethiopia, Iran and the United Arab Emirates have now joined the group they were initially refused entry because BRICSAEEIUAE was too hard to pronounce.
Previously Lego has attempted to sue Russia for the use of the term ‘BRICS’ but the filing was dismissed out of court.
Putin was unable to attend last year’s BRICS due to the warrant for his arrest after he was caught shoplifting large swathes of land from Eastern Europe. However, the Russian president was present via video call and said, “Let’s do this at my place next time.”
The summit agenda will include obligatory photo ops with a malevolent glowing orb, mustache-twirling, discussions on how to unbridle the global economy from using the US dollar, and a bric-a-brac sale.
Reportedly Putin will unveil several plans to bring down America such as a giant stick of dynamite and a robot president, however, photos have recently emerged of Putin’s whiteboard with only the word, “AI?” circled multiple times.
BRICS dismissed accusations that the gathering was entirely anti-west in a statement that said that it was America and its allies who were the real Legion of Doom. “What about America’s support for Israel, huh?” said BRICS spokesperson Omal Whelper. “Ever heard that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw bricks? Well, now we’re throwing BRICS at glass houses, how about that, huh?”
The White House declined to comment on the gathering but did express through a number of hand gestures that they were glad to have all the countries under one banner because it made things a lot easier to understand.