SHOCKING: TV Personalities Fail To Negotiate World Peace

The world is still reeling from the near-fatal dose of cringe unleashed from Zelensky and Trump’s first sit-down peace discussion (debate?). During the talk (ambush?) J ‘to the D’ Vance finally joined the chat to turn up the heat on this cold war by dressing down the Ukrainian Prime Minister for dressing down and not saying ‘thank you’ because if anyone needs to be put in their place right now, its Ukraine.

Things went from worse to bad from there as the reality TV host continued to berate the TV comedian, leading to a distinct lack of reality or comedy from either side.

Since this public display of affection, no one really knows what to do. Zelenskyy has done his best to bridge build, insisting the minerals deal is still on the table and that he is looking forward to future talks. He retreated to Europe for a conference in London in which European leaders rallied behind him and reaffirmed their commitment to finding peace. Like this paragraph, however, the comedian failed to find any kind of a joke to make.

The view in Washington is very different and US officials see Zelenskiy himself as the roadblock to peace. Only if he steps down can good faith talks begin again.

The only one who seems happy about all of this is Russia. The little sit-down gives Trump ammunition to frame Zelenski as uncooperative and sideline his aims in favor of Russia’s goals. This might lead to a quicker peace, but at what cost and under whose terms?

Russia invaded Ukraine because Russia wanted to own Ukraine. Ukraine fought back because they didn’t want Russia to have it. The negotiations have effectively already begun and have been at a stalemate for years. Since this is a zero-sum game, either one of both sides will come out of these negotiations unsatisfied. Concede Russia the little bit they’ve annexed and they still won’t have Ukraine. What’s to stop them from declaring peace, waiting a couple of years and doing the same thing all over again, just as they did with Crimea?

Ironically, peace cannot be the sole priority of the discussion, as peace is theoretically very easy: just give Ukraine to Russia. Worryingly, it seems Trump wants ‘peace’ at any cost and has sided with the aggressor because muscling down the little guy is the quickest path.

Oh, shit, I forgot to make any jokes again, errr, ok… What do you do if you want a closer look at Europe from Russia? You crane.

Thank you, thank you.