Trump Just Voted To Release The Epstein Files, Here’s Why He’s Playing 5D Chess

The United States President of America, Donald J. Trump, just signed into law the law that all but one lawmaker voted for, and that’s the release of the so-called ‘Epstein Files’.

Now, if you think that’s a crazy move because he’s definitely implicated in these files, well, I think you’re the crazy one because what you don’t understand is that Trump’s smarter than all this, and he knows what he’s doing.

He WANTS the files to be released, and he’s playing all of you.

Trump 5d chess game — This is the game Trump’s playing that your pathetic, not-friends-with-a-sex-offender brains couldn’t possibly comprehend.

Yes, for months he’s been publicly saying that the files shouldn’t be released, and yes, he had his attorney general and his head of the FBI claim that these files didn’t even exist, and yes, he called a reporter ‘piggy’ for some reason for even mentioning the files, BUT IT’S ALL A PLAY!

They can detail his close ties to a podophile. They can call him an adulterer. They can claim he had sex with a horse or Bill Clinton (whichever is worse), but it won’t matter.

You see, when the files get released and Trump’s name is all over them, the American public will have no choice but to accept that Donald Trump is a real-life sex offender.

Finally, he’ll be able to be his true self. No more hiding, no more lies, it’ll all be out in the open, and there will be nothing anyone will be able to do.

Trump Card

What are you going to do, impeach him? Babe. He’s famous. He’s the most powerful person in the world. You’re going to unspool all that just because he’s a little bit of a sex pest? Because he’s committed a few crimes? Phhff.

We already know all that and he’s still in power, babe.

This changes nothing! NOTHING!

All that changes is that Trump will finally be able to ascend to his final form: a completely bulletproof man, impervious to any and all accusations, entirely unstoppable and ETERNALLY POWERFUL! AHHHH!!!!

So when these files get released and you see Trump start to glow and levitate, now you’ll know why.

Checkmate, atheists.