Prime Minister Barnier Makes A French Exit

Alright, let’s have some European politics, as a palette cleanser. Hear me out. French Prime Minister Michel Barnier has been ousted from his top position after pushing through a controversial budget with just three months under his belt. Why does that sound familiar…

That’s right! It’s because the same thing happened in the UK two years ago when Prime Minister (and professional lettuce impersonator) Liz Truss was forced to resign for her expired economic plan. And, although it’s not quite the same, the US government seems to be perpetually on the verge of shutdown when the budget doesn’t get pushed through in time. Much like why I’m constipated.

Anyway, back to France. So Barnier was President Emmanuel Macron’s top pick (I know, France has both, I don’t get it either, let’s move on) and that’s super embarrassing for both I bet (I don’t know, it’s not happened to me) but Macron’s probably going to be fine so that’s good for him. Meanwhile, Barnier has left the government without saying goodbye to anyone which is known as a French exit or a French leave or an Irish exit or an Irish goodbye or (if you’re French) an English exit but if I’d used that the joke wouldn’t have worked. I guess you just name an exit after whichever peoples you think are rude.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Europe’s a mess. Basically, ever since the previous election France now has these three, equally powerful political blocs, and each time one tries to do anything the other two vote it down. Like a giant game of pierre-papier-ciseaux. I guess a calcified ultra-partisan three-party system is better than a calcified ultra-partisan two-party system, right? RIGHT?

People, or at least the doom-hype train that is the news, are saying that this could spell the collapse of Europe and society as we know it. Because, you know, if France can’t get its act together maybe they won’t be all together when Ukraine needs continued support. And then Trump comes in and pulls out America’s help as well and Russia gets carte blanche to march in and take Ukraine, then Poland, then East Germany, West Germany, France, Britain and before you know it the Capitol building has a big onion-shaped dome instead of just a regular dome.

So, yeah. French politics doesn’t seem so unimportant now, huh?