World Leaders Agree to Ban All Wars Except for the War on Christmas
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In a ground breaking agreement, world leaders from across the globe have come together to ban all wars, with the exception of the War on Christmas.
“We believe that this is a fair and equitable solution that will allow us to maintain peace and harmony while still preserving our cherished traditions,” said United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres.
The ban on war will go into effect immediately, with the exception of the War on Christmas, which will be allowed to continue indefinitely.
War on Christmas death toll now in the millions
When asked why the War on Christmas was excluded from the ban, Guterres explained that it is a “sacred conflict” that must be fought every year to protect the sanctity of the Christmas period.
“The War on Christmas is a battle for the soul of our civilization,” said Guterres. “We must never surrender to the forces of secularism and political correctness that seek to destroy our most cherished traditions.”
World leaders also agreed to establish a new international organization, the War on Christmas Council, which will be responsible for overseeing the conflict and ensuring that it is conducted in a fair and orderly manner.

The council will be made up of representatives from all countries that celebrate Christmas, and it will be responsible for setting the rules of engagement, monitoring compliance with the ban on war, and investigating any alleged violations.
The agreement to ban all wars except for the War on Christmas was met with mixed reactions. Some people praised the decision, saying that it would help to promote peace and understanding among nations. Others criticized the decision, saying that it was discriminatory and unfair.

Despite the controversy, the ban on war is expected to go into effect as scheduled. And so, the world will once again be at peace, except for people who say ‘happy holidays,’ they can get shot.
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