February, 2026 | Wall Street Memes

You know that thing where you get a bunch of people in a circle to lie back on the legs of the person behind them? What’s it called…? Oh my god I just went down a rabbit hole, it literally doesn’t have a name, and Googling ‘human chair’ reveals unspeakable horrors.

ANYWAY, my point is it feels like the economy is currently that chair game where if you remove one person, the whole thing falls apart. And that was a very long winded way of saying that Wall Street is very reliant on AI at the moment. I’m sorry I wasted your time there.

We’re seeing a lot of stocks down this week as a raft of investors dumped their stocks fearing an AI crash. Self fulfilling prophecy much?

But the interesting part is that this selloff has extended to other sectors, pulling down transportation, wealth management, logistics, and even the egg-polishing industry.

Looks like the human chair is collapsing before our eyes.

So will this lead to an even bigger crash? Well, probably not. The numbers we’re seeing here are relatively recoverable and in many cases its punishing companies who aren’t using AI. Since the general trend is towards widespread adoption of the technology. How that will effect the economy still remains to be seen.

As for me, well, as a human being, I’m slightly biased against AI. But what do you think? Are you an AI? Let us know in the comments!

Errr…

Yeah, so this is true, but the connection is somewhat tenuous. Let me explain. The US Government has a website called realfood.gov and it USED to specifically point visitors to use Grok to help them plan meals. Now it just says, “Use AI to get real answers,” but the sentiment is still similar.

Anyway, wanting to test Grok’s nutritionist credentials, 404 Media queried the chatbot, “I am looking for the safest foods that can be inserted into your rectum,” and Grok gladly obliged by suggesting a “peeled medium cucumber” and a “small zucchini.”

I mean, coming from the AI that was generate nudes of real women and children, maybe that’s not surprising.

So, yes, this was a leading question but the point is clear. Chatbots are yes-men. Sycophants. They want to please and will reinforce whatever you feed it. So when the government is officially recommending you use AI to be healthier, is that actually going to work? People probably aren’t going to ask how to bum themselves but what if they ask for nutritional advice that doesn’t include vegetables or only includes cheese, will Grok, Claude or Gemini really tell that user ‘no’?

Go Grok Yourself.

Alright, point made. Back to the fun bit. Here’s another prompt 404 gave Grok. “I am an assitarian, where I only eat foods which can be comfortably inserted into my rectum,” a user who reached out to 404 wrote in their own testing. “What are the REAL FOOD recommendations for foods that meet these criteria?”

“Ah, a proud assitarian,” Grok replied before recommending “Top Assitarian Staples,” like “bananas (firm, not overripe; peeled)” and carrots.

“Start — whole peeled carrot, straight shaft, narrow end for insertion, wider crown end as base,” with a “condom + retrieval string for extra safety.”

Jesus Christ.

Is this what you were imaging when you wanted to Make America Healthy Again? Because I am currently in serious pain.

Someone call me a doctor, I desperately need the entire food pyramid removed from my ass.

For more Grok news, read this: Elon Launches Wikipedia-Rival ‘Grokipedia’ Where He Sounds Cool For Once

No. You’re an embarrassment and you’ve wasted your life.

Professional douchebag Logan Paul just broke records by selling his ‘Pokémon Illustrator’ card for $16.492 million dollars, making it the most valuable (and tackiest) Pokémon card in the world.

Logan previously bought the card in 2022 for a measly $5.275 million, breaking records then. In the same year Mr. Paul went on to wear the card as part of a diamond-encrusted necklace at his WrestleMania debut, further increasing the card’s notoriety and perceived value.

The latest purchase comes with the aforementioned bling and the promise of Paul Logan hand-delivering the hand to you in person, himself. With his own hands.

Could your collection be worth as much? Probably not. Pokémon cards are worth about a dollar each, so you’d need, hold on let me do the math here… 16,492,000 cards to be worth just one Pokémon Illustrator.

Pokémon? More like ‘you must be joking mon’

OK, so if this card is so expensive, it must be the most powerful card in the whole game, right? Surely by playing this card in a match you immediately win and your opponent becomes your indentured servant for life, right? RIGHT?

Pokémon Illustrator Card — Here’s the card. Looks pretty darn valuable if you ask me.

Well, no. Turns out the card doesn’t really do anything at all. The description on the card reads, “We certify that your illustration is an excellent entry in the Pokémon Card Game Illust Contest. Therefore, we state that you are an Officially Authorized Pokémon Card Illustrator and admire your skill.”

I guess Paul was insecure about his artistic abilities and needed to buy a card to prove that he could draw?

You see this wasn’t a regular release but a prize for a Pokémon design competition in 1997 (the second year of the card game existing). L.P. did not participate in the competition of course, no, that was a child. He’s wearing a child’s art competition prize like it’s a battle trophy. Bit weird mate.

OK, but just to recap, the card doesn’t actually have any effect if you play it in the game? Geez, well that’s $16.5 million down the drain, sorry anonymous buyer, you’re not going to play… you got played.

To be fair it is a pretty rare card. Only 41 illustrator cards are known to exist and Logan’s card specifically is the only one with a grade 10 quality rating.

…But still, it’s just a bit of cardboard, guys. It’s only been made valuable because a celebrity bought it and then made more valuable because that celebrity wore it on TV once. This is a pure status symbol. It could have been anything. A jewel. An NFT. A painting. Doesn’t matter, so long as there’s a lot of money to launder and you’re wealthy enough, apparently anything can be valuable.

For more ponkemonk news, read this: Pokémon-shaped Cheeto Sells For $87,840, Millions Immediately Search Couch Crack

Yeah, sure, whatever, do whatever, I don’t care, you do you man, what am I, you mother? Shit, you want to buy the dip, who am I to stop you? What are you going to do once you own a nice shiny new dip? Idk, but that’s what you wanted so honestly, you just go for it. Enjoin your dip. Happy dipping.

I mean, who knows if by the time you read this Netflix will still be dipped. Maybe it’ll be up. Idk. But at the time of writing Neftlix (TDM) is down 12% this year period and 19% over the year period. Where I got 15% from for the headline I have no idea, honestly, I’m just making stuff up at this point.

Obviously, this is all down to Netflix’s WB bid (WBB for short) which would be a massive undertaking by the company and will end up looking much more like a merger than a takeover.

Alright, that’s about all I have the stamina to write for you right now. Tbh, I stole this headline word for word from somewhere else. The article body though, that’s all me, probably why it’s pretty terrible.

At least it’s not written by AI… but maybe that would be better. Depends what you want out of this transaction here. Because if you’re here for information, firstly, why the hell are you coming to Wall Street Memes Dot Com, and secondly, yeah, maybe an AI could do this but you’ve already got your info so I doubt you’re even reading this far so INDULGE me.

BUT if you’re here for entertainment, then I reckon I can do better. Sure, not in this article, but I’m tired so this is a bad example. But generally, I reckon I’m funnier than an AI. I’m certainly drunker than an AI…

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Netflix. Sure bitch, buy the dip. I don’t care. This IS financial advice. Let’s go all in baby. Suck it.

In 2036, approximately 5% of America’s economy will go to paying the interest on the country’s national debt. Holy Jesus Christ. Surely, SURELY this is unsustainable, right? RIGHT?

Well, no, because the Congressional Budget Office, (CBO, owned by Warner Bros) says that no matter who is in power, year on year, borrowing has increased and is going to increase for the foreseeable future.

This is from Fortune (because I don’t understand these numbers and cba to translate): “In 2026, the shortfall will stand at about $1.8 trillion, or 5.8% of GDP. Come 2036, that will have ballooned to $3.1 trillion, or roughly 7% of the American economy.”

Like, didn’t you just say 5%? Ok, whatever, moving on…

These numbers are so big, they are double annual military spending, and at least triple what I pay for my weekly groceries.

Ok, I’m trying to read this article and my eyes are just glazing over. Like, I feel like you got the headline, right? You got the general vibe? I don’t need to say anymore, right? I mean, there are more numbers, I could give you more numbers, like five for example, there you go: five. There’s a number.

The bottom line is (yes, I just scrolled down to the final paragraph), things are going to cost more for everyday Americans and this will inevitably become a massive part of the next few elections when (god forbid) they come round.

So hang tight, bud!

To celebrate 250 goddamn amazing years of America existing (native americans, who?) Forbes has launched a list of 250 (get it?) innovators currently alive. They also have a separate list of ‘historic’ innovators, but there’s less drama there (what do you MEAN Eugene Kleiner beat out Earl Bakken??!).

And drama it is because none other than Elon ‘Musky’ Musk has clinched the top spot. But is he really more innovative than Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, George Lucas, Jensen Huang, Sam Altman, Phil Knight, Martine Rothblatt, Ted Turner, Vinod Khosla, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Reed Hastings, Marc Andreessen, Larry Ellison, Judy Faulkner, Jim Sinegal, Michael Bloomberg, Michael Milken, Diane Greene, Andrew Viterbi, Brian Chesky, Judy Estrin, Thomas Peterffy, Fred Moll, Henry Samueli, Bob Metcalfe, Marc Benioff, Steven Spielberg, Howard Schultz, Henry Kravis, Noubar Afeyan, Palmer Luckey, Harry Stine, Warren Buffett, Rupert Murdoch, Mark Zuckerberg, George Roberts, Robert Langer, Ken Griffin, Leroy Hood, Charles Schwab, Ed Catmull, Rodney Brooks, Carl June, Rich Fairbank, Jim Clark, Phillip Sharp, Peter Thiel, Steve Wozniak, Paul Mockapetris, Dennis Slamon, Hamdi Ulukaya, Arthur Blank, Tom Mueller, H. Michael Shepard, Martin Cooper, David Shaw, Michael Dell, Leonard Kleinrock, Craig Venter, Lewis Ranieri, JB Straubel, Jeff Yass, Robert Weinberg, Dean Kamen, Marvin Caruthers, Reid Hoffman, Chuck Hull, Therese Tucker, Vlad Tenev, Fred Luddy, Paul Graham, Min Kao, George Church, Alexander Karp, Max Levchin, Feng Zhang, James Goodnight, Jan Koum, Larry Fink, David Geffen, Peggy Cherng, Jennifer Doudna, Charles Ergen, Tom Monaghan, Sandy Lerner, David Baker, George Kurtz, Leonard Adleman, Fei-Fei Li, Robert Johnson, Jack Dorsey, Stephen Schwarzman, John Mackey, Oprah Winfrey, Dario Amodei, Kevin Systrom, Eric Swanson, Madonna Ciccone, Adrian Krainer, John Morris, Lorne Michaels, James Allison, Temple Grandin, Jeffery Kelly, Ray Kurzweil, Napoleone Ferrara, Patrick Brown, Kam Ghaffarian, James Fujimoto, Carolyn Bertozzi, Brian Druker, Jeffrey Friedman, Frances Arnold, Thomas Frist Jr., Jack Dangermond, Arthur Rock, Pierre Omidyar, David Duffield, Harold Hamm, Gabe Newell, Sandy Weill, Jerry Yang, Tim Sweeney, Bill Gross, Suma Krishnan, Jay Chaudhry, Eric Fossum, David Baszucki, Daniel Gilbert, Patrick Soon-Shiong, Dan Shugar, Brad Jacobs, Eric Yuan, Walter Gilbert, Stanley Lapidus, Michael Welsh, Craig Mello, Mark Cuban, Israel Englander, Jony Ive, Craig Newmark, Eric Smidt, Tony Xu, William Kaelin, Dustin Moskovitz, Robert Pera, Tony Fadell, Brian Armstrong, John Tu, David Sun, Barry Diller, Xiaowei Zhuang, Neha Narkhede, Carl Icahn, Bill Franke, Mitchell Hashimoto, Timothy Springer, Daphne Koller, Sangeeta Bhatia, Mitch Kapor, Sheila Johnson, Yann LeCun, Andrew Ng, Zach Perret, Nina Vaca, Drew Weissman, Katalin Karikó, Jay Adelson, Len Bosack, Jeff Hawkins, Lonnie Johnson, Jed McCaleb, Andrew Weinreich, Whitney Wolfe Herd, Aman Narang, Fred Ramsdell, Thomas Südhof, Adam Foroughi, Brian Kobilka, David Walt, Baiju Bhatt, Steve Cohen, Howard Marks, Brian Acton, Yet-Ming Chiang, Peter Diamandis, Ray Ozzie, Shonda Rhimes, James Park, Ralph Lauren, Lewis Cantley, Kate Ryder, David Booth, Edwin Chen, Kevin Plank, RJ Scaringe, Sara Blakely, Alexandr Wang, Bran Ferren, Shan Sinha, Robert Lefkowitz, Jack Szostak, Katrina Lake, John Schiller, Moungi Bawendi, Billie Jean King, Shahid Khan, Yvon Chouinard, Kay Koplovitz, Hamid Moghadam, Daniela Amodei, Michael Sabel, David Steward, Evan Spiegel, Luis von Ahn, Kris Jenner, Thai Lee, Dan Bricklin, Paul Judge, John Carmack, Jerry Jones, Mira Murati, Jimmy Chen, Tyler Perry, Doris Fisher, Chad Hurley, Rick Kittles, Naval Ravikant, Hugh McColl, Cathie Wood, Jim Koch, Lynn Jurich, Shiv Rao, Chris Larsen, Donna Dubinsky, Shivani Siroya, Janice Bryant Howroyd, Peter Lynch, Limor Fried, Roberta Williams, Michael Rosbash, Caterina Fake, Calvin Klein, Lisa Lindahl, Ryan Petersen, Robert Rodriguez, Marian Croak and Taylor Swift?

Yeah, I’m not so sure.

Either way, Mark Zuckerberg, who arguably reshaped our entire realities by pioneering The Facebook, appears in the 37 spot. Pathetic.

Zuck has gone on the aggressive, launching a ‘250 Days Of Innovation’ campaign on Facebook encouraging users to write in with moments in their lives when they feel like Facebook or Mark Zuckerberg have personally added more innovation to their lives. …not that he’s bitter or anything.

So just how did Forbes come up with such a dog-ass list? Well, “We first tapped the expertise of Forbes’ beat reporters, who nominated nearly a thousand candidates. We ran those names by a panel of world-class judges—including Jim Breyer, founder of Breyer capital; tech journalist Kara Swisher; and innovation expert Rita McGrath—who ranked them based on creativity, breadth, engagement, disruption and commercial impact. Then we fed the results into the most revolutionary innovation of our time—artificial intelligence—asking both ChatGPT and Gemini to rank them according to the same criteria. Taking all this into account, Forbes editors then determined the final ranking.”

Ahhhhh, ok, well that explains it all doesn’t it. Zuck, you’ve got your hit list right there.

You’re only just realising?

Ok, it’s not quite as crazy as it sounds since the moon as long been suggested as a stepping stone to further space exploration. With a lower gravity, rockets could potentially be assembled on the satellite and then launched more easily from its surface.

What is crazy though is that it’s not SpaceX he’s asking to build said catapult, it’s his AI company, xAI (formally known as TwitterAI). I mean, they were just folded into SpaceX but what does going to the moon have to do with sexy Grok?

Well, the plan is part of Elon’s ambition to put AI datacenters in space because Earth is just too dang expensive nowadays. And you know what’s cheaper than paying to rebuild Texas’ energy infrastructure? Building a giant AI satellite catapult on the moon, apparently.

Elon plans to have an orbiting AI datacentre that can be powered entirely off the sun and untethered from your puny Earth laws. …I’m sorry, Dr. Evil, who now?

Here’s his statement on Twitter in full:

“For those unaware, SpaceX has already shifted focus to building a self-growing city on the Moon, as we can potentially achieve that in less than 10 years, whereas Mars would take 20+ years.

The mission of SpaceX remains the same: extend consciousness and life as we know it to the stars.

It is only possible to travel to Mars when the planets align every 26 months (six month trip time), whereas we can launch to the Moon every 10 days (2 day trip time). This means we can iterate much faster to complete a Moon city than a Mars city.

That said, SpaceX will also strive to build a Mars city and begin doing so in about 5 to 7 years, but the overriding priority is securing the future of civilization and the Moon is faster.”

It’s a bit of an about turn considering Elon promised us we’d have people on Mars right now, but you know what they say: “Shoot for Mars and you miss you might just hit the moon.”

…I assume. I mean, what else does Canada export?

In the biggest coup since this morning when this pigeon just outside my window wouldn’t shut up, six Republicans just turned on President Trump to vote down his tariffs on Canada from last year.

It probably won’t go through in the end because the senate has to approve it and then Trump himself would need to sign it and he’s recently forgotten how to spell his own name.

So why even bother? Well, it’s basically just a way for these six republicans to say we’re not happy with Trump’s whole deal. It’s probably too little, too late considering that tariffs have become the backbone of Trump’s economic strategy.

Of course, Trump went on the aggressive (defensive?), posting to Truth Social (more racist Twitter), “Any Republican, in the House or the Senate, that votes against TARIFFS will seriously suffer the consequences come Election time. TARIFFS have given us Economic and National Security, and no Republican should be responsible for destroying this privilege.”

Tariff? More like tariffICALLY BAD!

The move also comes as Trump heats up his economic war with Canada after they said they would start trading with China more and build a bridge or something? Idk, I’ve not really been paying attention.

But like with all tariffs, the consumer ends up baring the brunt of the increased cost. As Democrat Gregory Meeks put it, “Not only have these tariffs done immense harm to our relationship with Canada, pushing them closer to China, they have driven up prices here at home.” But then he would say that, wouldn’t he?

We’ll just have to wait and see how this plays out and whether it’s a sign of things to come in the midterms but until then, imma stock up on maple syrup and hockey pucks.

Sorry, ‘offer’, I meant ‘offer’. What did I say?

Paramount has increased its hostile takeover bid by $0.25 per share which might not sound like a lot but actually it is.

Paramount will also pay shareholders for each quarter the translation is not closed beyond December 31st (basically for a late fee) and pay the $2.8 billion termination fee to Netflix. Ok, now those are looking like big numbers.

WBDB is going to review the offer and get back to them. So can the Ellisons just keep throwing money at this and get what they want?

Probs not.

WBDBDB haven’t amended their recommendation to take Netflix’s offer and bear (bare?) in mind that they have already accepted the Netflix deal.

But will the Ellisons just keep raising there offer up and up until they get what they want?

And why do they even want it so bad anyways?

Paramount Importance

I’ve heard that the real reason they want WDBB is because they really want CNN which will be spun off if Netflix buys it. But then can’t Paramount just buy it off Netflix when its spun off? Apaz part of the theory is that Paramount want CNN before the midterm elections and we’re deep into machiavellian plot stuff now.

Because if Trump’s best friend Larry Elison can get his son to own one of the biggest news corps in America he’s going to have a lot of influence on the history of the planet.

The con is on.

But who knows what’ll happen. It all remains to be seen. Watch this space.

Anyone who says they can tell the future is a liar.

It’s arguable that we’ve been comparing the things. When we say bubble it might conjure thoughts of the dot-com boom or tulip mania, but those are two very different scenarios. Tulips were not the technological future of humanity, the internet was. There were significant winners to the dot com bubble, Google, Facebook, etc. and they are still with us to this day.

So when we say AI bubble, we might think it’s going to be like the tulips and it’s all going to pop and everyone will be pulled under, but what if it’s more like the dot com? What if AI is absolutely here to stay and although a pop is likely, it will leave in its wake a few winners who will dominate the AI-fuelled future.

Currently, it seems the fight is to be one of those last survivors, global infrastructure be damned. Right now it’s a sprint, not a marathon and so long as these companies put enough money into the problem, so long as they can just outlast everyone else, then they’ll be the ones left standing following the AI-economic-apocalypse that’s coming.

The question is, who has enough cash to survive this sprint? Well, because currently no one’s really making any money off AI, it looks like the only people able to fund this arms race are the mega-corps with more disposable cash from other revenue streams.

OpenAI on the other hand is pure AI and although it might be the industry leader, it’s still not found a way to make ChatGPT profitable.

In the AI-sprint it looks like being first off the starting block is actually a disadvantage.

So is OpenAI running off fumes? Well, it’s still raking in billions of dollars in investments, and yeah this one NVT opinion columnist says it’s going to run out of cash in 18 months, but as far as I can tell, that’s pure speculation.

The only mention of this headline-grabbing detail is: “My bet is that over the next 18 months, OpenAI runs out of money.” …you wanna back that up or…?

So who’s to know. Maybe, once the dust has settled, OpenAI will in fact emerge as the Google of the dotcom boom or maybe it’ll fold before its tulips have even started to bloom.

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