Ima Short | Wall Street Memes

Ok, not technically Trump, but his son in law just pulled out and that’s close enough to make a clickbait title, right? …RIGHT?

Donald Trump’s son in law Jared Kushner’s private equity firm, Affinity, just pulled its funding for Paramount’s bid to buy Warner Bros. Discovery. Still with me?

In a statement, the firm explained that “With two strong competitors trying to secure the future of this unique American asset, Affinity has decided not to pursue the opportunity anymore. The investment situation has changed a lot since we first got involved in October. We still believe Paramount’s offer makes sense strategically.”

Sure you do…

Paramount now loses a potentially key ally in their bid as it might fall on king Trump to pass the final verdict on whether I’m going to have to pay an extra $2 a month for HBO or not.

Whilst it previously looked like Trump and Paramount were walking hand in hand, Trump did recently criticize Paramount’s CBS for 60 Minutes depiction of him, Truthing: “If they are friends, I’d hate to see me enemies!”

And that’s what this all comes down to. Trump will support whoever flatters or bribes him more. He’s a business man, come on, what do you want from him? And Trump’s little tweet was a warning for Paramount to toe the line or lose his support. It’s the same thing that happened with Jimmy Kimmel, it’s the same thing he’s trying with his lawsuit against the BBC.

Pledge fealty to the king or incur his wrath!

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, WBD’s board is reportedly planning to reject Paramount’s offer citing concerns over its financial structure and the terms over the merger. The ball is pitched back into Paramount’s court who have already said that this is not their best and final offer (weird negotiation tactic, but ok).

So all in all, needless to say we’ve not reached the season finale here yet and there are still many more twists and turns to be had before the act three reveal where Larry Ellison is unmasked as the murderer all along.

Ford (FRD) stock is UP following the announcement that they will be cancelling a bunch of their full EV vehicles and pivoting back to gas and hybrid vehicle production.

So I guess China won then? I guess you’re just giving up and letting China take the EV market. They’ve been coming for you and now you’ve stopped and let them catch you. But hey, better to retreat with casualties than keep on fighting until the bitter end, right Tesla?

The news comes with a long list of announcements, including the cancellation of Ford’s F-150 Lightning EV (why is it named like a fighter jet?) and pivoting their battery manufacturing from cars to grid storage.

I’m sorry, what was that about climate change? Yeah, I hardly know her neither.

“The operating reality has changed, and we are redeploying capital into higher-return growth opportunities: Ford Pro, our market-leading trucks and vans, hybrids, and high-margin opportunities like our new battery energy storage business,” said CEO, Henry Ford, in a statement.

This gear shift does mean the famed car manufacturer will eat a massive $$$$$19.5 billion in monies. Let me break that down for you:

$8 billion in asset impairments, including EV asset writedowns
$6 billion for restructuring and acquiring battery plant assets from partner SK ON
$5.5 billion in cash charges related to vehicle cancellations

And I know that seems like a lot but Ford has spotted a massive slump in EV purchases so in the long run this’ll be for the best, promise.

As the great Henry Ford once said, “Any customer can have a car powered any way that he wants, so long as it is gas.”

For more car news, read this: Ferrari Unveils First EV Car, Stock Price Stalls

I don’t see color.

Pantone, the people behind the Pantone Matching System (which awkwardly abbreviates to PMS) have unveiled their ‘Color of the Year 2026’ like they do every year and is no way controversial at all.

It’s white. They picked white.

Well, officially it’s called ✨ 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓭 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻 ✨ and it’s an off-white, a lil creamy, a lil gray. Pantone describes it as “a lofty white that serves as a symbol of calming influence in a society rediscovering the value of quiet reflection.”

…sure.

Now, this is all just a bit of advertising, nothing to write home about, except, of course, people are kicking off that of all the colors and non-colors it’s white, accusing the company of promoting ✨𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓬𝔂✨.

The next market crash?

But that’s not the kind of crazy I’m interested in today, because this is a respectable financial publication after all, no, let me draw your attention to this particular tweet:

Mhmhmm, yeah, stick with me, now look at this:

Right, so look at when Pantone doesn’t pick real colors, they pick grays and whites. What have we got:

2006 – the peak of the housing market, which crashed for 2 years…

2021 – the Russia-Ukraine war caused a crash that the world took 18 months to recover from…

And now…

2026 – holy shit.

I’m not saying everything’s orchestrated or anything, BUT PANTONE ARE DEFINITELY SIGNALING TO THE WEALTHY ELITE WHEN TO CASH OUT AND CASH IN.

YOU’RE ALL BEING PLAYED SHEEPLE! THE PANTONE COLOR COMPANY IS BEHIND EVERYTHING! NO, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, I’M TELLING THE TRUTH! A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!! YOU CAN’T SUPPRESS THE TRUTH!! AAAHHHH!!!

[“The content is below the minimum of words. Add more content.” …bitch, a picture says a thousand words and I used two, come on, that’s 2000 words right there!]

For more color news, read this: Facebook Changes Branding Colors To Red In Effort To Court Trump

Tanked is a strong word, is 3.4% a ‘tank’?

Netflix (NFCKS) investors have just revealed that they’re skeptical whether a $72 billion dollar buyout of Warner Brothers is a good idea, considering they can’t even afford to allow password sharing.

Couple that with the Paramount’s $108 billion in dollars hostile counteroffer and then couple that again with Trump’s not-so-subtle hints about an uphill regulatory battle and you can see why they’re squirming.

Oh and then couple all that again with disappointing third-quarter earnings and since October 21, Netflix stock is down 20%.

Tu-DUM.

“A higher bid by Paramount makes it more likely that either Netflix has to increase its price or walk away,” said, Uday Cheruvu the portfolio manager of Netflix share owners Harding Loevner. But the question is is it even worth getting into a bidding war with the second richest man’s son after you already won and if the deal might not even go through at the other end?

Oh, just what’s a billion-dollar corporation to do!

Netflix? More like bag-of-dicks!

Shall I make matters worse? Ok, I’ll make matters worse. On the Paramount side of this war is another Trump ally, son-in-law Jared Kushner whose finance company has co-financed Paramount’s new bid.

I wonder which way the famously impartial Donald Trump will lean?

Idk, if I were Netflix, I’d just walk away from the deal. Lots of people were sceptical about the name Warnetflix Brothers anyway. I think the only people pro the deal were the rabid fans campaigning for a Stranger Things/Game of Thrones crossover. I mean, I ship Jon Snow and the demogorgon as much as the next guy, but I can live without it.

There are a lot of plates in the fire here, so we’ll just have to wait and see who’s going to juggle them all without them smashing.

But until then, you just KNOW that I’m going to milk this story for all the content I can get. Fingers crossed it never ends…

Was the night out at an accredited college or something?

I mean, this it just a regular night out with the lads. I know, it always starts with the promise of “only a couple drinks” but you know how it goes, drinks are expensive these days, plus club entry fees, who hasn’t racked up these kind of numbers on an average Friday?

Oh, sure, Chase Bank and the woman in the viral TikTok “claims” it was a computer glitch, but we all see through you, Maddie. We know what the sitch is, and you just don’t want your parents to find out.

In a now-deleted TikTok on her own account, she recounted the experience, saying, “I wish I could say I bought the city of Los Angeles. It’s not the case here. I’m not really sure what inclined me to check my bank account at like 2 am. But I did. And then I saw negative 49 billion.”

woman 50 billion debt — not sure I should be screenshotting someone’s banking app and putting it online but, err…

But before anyone could arrive to break her kneecaps, she called the bank, who replied, “‘Hello this is Chase bank how may I help you?’ Hi, I’m negative 50 billion dollars in debt, and I’m not quite sure why. Do I have 50 billion dollars? No. I do have $76. So she goes, ‘can I put you on hold?’ I’ve never seen this before. I was like, oh.”

‘Oh,’ indeed.

As some Redditors have pointed out, she probably just left a cute waitress a reasonable tip and didn’t want to own up to it. That or she did a little too much drunken online shopping on Lockheed Martin’s website.

You know, girl math.

For more solid financial advice, read this: A Man Disguised Himself As His Dead Mom For Three Years To Steal Her Fortune

Hey, look, so here’s the thing, and I can only apologize, but the story I had for this clickbait headline was from this article that says 11% of Black Friday purchases were made with things like Klarna and 95% came from credit card transactions. So, that’s not really news, is it? “BREAKING NEWS: Credit Cards Used At Christmas”…

But the thing is I kind of locked in on this headline before I actually checked the source soooo….

Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting high-quality journalism from Wall Street Memes Dot Com?? Give me a break.

I guess I can still run with the latter part of my headline though…

OK, I just googled actual recession indicators and got bored immediately so here are some joke one’s instead:

TOP FIVE SEASONAL RECESSION INDICATORS!

5. Santa’s Fired His Elves

They weren’t able to unionize in time and have been replaced by AI.

4. Jerome Powell Has Been Added To The Naughty List

Who snitched? Don? Was it you?

3. IRS Will No Longer Accept Tax Returns ‘Via Chimney’

That could be a headline… Hey, if you see me use this in a couple of weeks, you know I ran out of ideas.

2. Colombian Drug Lords Are Shifting To ‘Fake Snow’ For Nativity Scenes Instead Of Cocaine

Too specific? Idk, I’ll brainstorm some other options…

1. Your Grandma Sends You Five Dollars Less This Year

Ok, but that one’s actually real though…

Alright, I hope you enjoy all that more than I did. I’m off to recess my indicators. Have fun.

For more Christmas miracles, read this: Christmas Voted Most Popular Vacation For Second Year Running

Cassandra’s at it again…

Famed investor, Michael ‘The Big Short’ Burry, just made a slew of apocalyptic predictions and they’re not exactly optimistic, but what did you really expect from an apocalyptic prediction?

Here’s a roundup of all the headlines he’s made this week:

The stock market is due for “a number of bad years” from a market-wide selloff worse than the 2000s market crash.

Bitcoin is the “tulip bulb of our time”.
Tesla is “ridiculously overvalued”.
Palantir will be worth a lot less in two years.
Interest rates shouldn’t be lowered.
The Fed shouldn’t exist and should be replaced by the Treasury Department.
Christian Bale isn’t returning his calls about The Big Short 2.

…Ok, that last one I made up, but the rest he did say.

I mean, that’s a lot of yapping for one small man. This is all from multiple blog posts right? Oh, this is all from one podcast interview? Oh damn.

Tell us how you really think, Michael.

But why should we listen to this guy? He keeps saying Troy is going to fall all day every day, but has it fallen yet? No, so he’s clearly wrong, I’m going to put my faith in the great gods of Apollo, Nvidia and Elon Musky Musky Musk.

For more on this story, gilly your peepers over this: Michael Burry Just Brought Up GME, Here Are 5 More Red Flags That Signal a Bubble

…because it’s a grift, always has been.

Don Jr and Eric Trump’s crypto mining company, American Bitcoin, just lost two-fifths of its value, and not just because it’s a valueless asset designed to be dumped. Wait, did I say that out loud?

Yep, almost $1 billion dollars in actual money was wiped off the Trump bros’ fledgling startup in under half an hour, mainly because the lock-up period just ended and all the investors suddenly remembered that they had better things to do with their money.

Trump crypto graph — Here’s hoping the graph is just upside down…

Naturally, Eric took to X to quell any panic, writing that investors were just exercising their option to “cash in on their profits for the first time which is why we will see volatility… I’m holding all my @ABTC shares – I’m 100% committed to leading the industry.”

Wait, does he not know? Should somebody tell him? Eric, my boy, the first rule of the con is you don’t con yourself…

Crypto? More like, grift-o

Eric’s also the guy who formally bragged on X that American Bitcoin handled 2% of the world’s Bitcoin transactions. Which can’t be true, you’re saying only 2% of bits coined are American? We used to be a real country…

Trump’s sons are also the founders of the shitcoin, World Liberty Financial, which also had a massive crash, down 86% this year. Turns out listing your dad/the president as “co-founder emeritus, whatever that means, isn’t enough to save your floundering business ventures.

In other news, Bitcoin just hit a two-week high, so make of those two pieces of news what you will…

For more news you can’t trust, read this: Trump Has Over $1 Billion In Bitcoin Profits, Does He Know Something We Don’t?

So the Federal Reserve (you know, the money guys?), they just pumped $13.5 billion into the U.S. Banking System through overnight repos (whatever that means). This would make it the 2nd largest liquidity injection into banks since COVID and bigger than anything similar done during the dot-com bubble.

Yeah, probably fine, nothing to worry about…

So to commemorate the impending collapse of the US economy, here are five reasons why this news might just be a bad thing, as explained by ChatGPT (shit, that might be reason number 6…)

5. Bank Reserves Are at Crisis-Era Lows, Echoing Pre-2008 Vulnerabilities

U.S. bank reserves plunged $102 billion in recent weeks to $2.8 trillion by late October 2025, the sharpest drop since the 2020 pandemic. This scarcity forced the Fed’s emergency repo usage to record highs, as seen in the October 31 spike. Similar reserve squeezes preceded the 2008 crisis, where liquidity dried up and forced fire sales; analysts warn this could trigger deleveraging if banks hoard cash instead of lending.

…OK, I didn’t read all that, but I heard something about fire and liquid, which cancels out, so we should all be fine, right?

4. Rising SOFR and Funding Rates Signal a Sneaky Credit Crunch Brewing

cheese bedsheet graph, nothing to do with banks — Here’s a graph. Not the right graph, mind you, but a graph nonetheless.

The Secured Overnight Financing Rate (SOFR) surged in late October 2025, hitting levels not seen in years, as banks paid premiums for short-term cash. The Fed’s $50.35 billion injection on October 31—the biggest since 2021—directly addressed this, but persistent spikes indicate counterparty fears and reduced interbank lending. This “canary in the coal mine” mirrors 2019’s repo turmoil, which nearly froze markets and could amplify volatility in stocks and bonds if unchecked.

You have no idea how hard it is to make this stuff funny, I’m telling you…

3. Quantitative Tightening Backfired, Forcing the Fed to U-Turn on Liquidity

The Fed’s ongoing balance sheet shrinkage (down to $6.58 trillion from $9 trillion in 2022) drained liquidity, clashing with $1.5 trillion in new Treasury issuance for fiscal 2025. This combo pushed the Standing Repo Facility to unprecedented use, culminating in the November 2025 announcements to halt QT by December 1. Critics argue this flip-flop reveals policy missteps, risking investor confidence and a repeat of 2020’s emergency interventions if reserves dip further.

I’m sorry, what was that about shrinkage draining liquidity? Please, talk to your doctor if you’re having trouble in the bedroom, don’t tell me all about it.

2. Treasury Debt Overload Is Sucking Cash Out, Straining the Entire System

Massive U.S. Treasury auctions—fueled by record deficits—absorbed bank cash in October 2025, exacerbating the reserve crunch and prompting the Fed’s $22 billion follow-up injection on November 4. With the Treasury General Account ballooning amid a brief government shutdown scare, this “liquidity tug-of-war” could force more bailouts, echoing dot-com pressures when debt surges overwhelmed markets and sparked the 2000 bust.

TLDR; we’re squrewed.

1. Inflation Risks Reignite as “Easy Money” Undermines Rate Hike Credibility

Despite Powell’s October 29, 2025, warnings on persistent inflation, the $125 billion flood—termed “stealth easing”—has markets pricing a 67% chance of December rate cuts, boosting risk assets like crypto but stoking reflation fears. If banks deploy this cash aggressively, it could fuel asset bubbles (as in the dot-com era), forcing the Fed into a policy whiplash that erodes trust and spikes volatility, per analysts tracking similar post-2020 patterns.

So there you have it, folks! I’d like to thank my helpful assistant ChatGPT for understanding all that so I don’t have to and now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to go put a short on the entire US economy…

The Big Short investor (who’s actually pretty tall in real life), Michael Burry, just Tweeted (X’d, whatever) “Remember GME?” and if that isn’t an omen signalling the impending apocalypse, I don’t know what is.

Except, in fact, I do. Here are five more massive red flags that very clearly say: “STOP! THERE’S A BUBBLE! STOP! TURN AROUND! RUN AWAY!!!” but, you know, in a subtle way…

1 – America’s 2nd richest man needs a government bailout

OK, so apparently Larry Ellison needs some of that sweet, sweet government money because Oracle and OpenAI can’t pay for the Nvidia orders they’ve placed. Except… I can’t find a single source for this other than our own social media accounts and this one post in Chinese on this website called Moomoo.com? What even is that? What’s going on?

2 – Surging VC Down-Rounds in AI Startups

Look, I understand as much of this as you do, assuming you don’t understand any of this. So down rounds are when later funding values a company at lower than they did in prior rounds. So the number of those things happening have hit a ten year high. 15.9% of deals are down rounds and of those numbers? 30% are AI firms. Hmm, yeah, not a good sign guys…

3 – Excessive Burn Rates in Early-Stage AI Firms

‘Series A’ AI companies are burning through $5 for every $1 in revenue they gain. Now I’m not a numbers guy, but I’m pretty sure you need those numbers to be the other way around to make a… profit? Is that the word, profit? These shitty rates are double what they normally are and the medium cumulative loss has reached $100 million in just three years.

That’s bad is what I’m saying.

4 – Massive Infrastructure Spending vs. Meager Revenue

We all know this one and I’ve even heard it argued that the AI bubble isn’t like the dot com boom because AI is building energy infrastructure and yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that buddy…

Big Tech is planning on spending $400 billion in AI this year (that’s about $250 per global iPhone user). But when you look at say, OpenAI’s $20 billion annual revenue, that just doesn’t square up against its $1.4 trillion data center ambitions.

The fact of things is that only 3% of users pay for AI tools and most firms report no bottom-line impact. WE HAVE GONE ALL IN ON A PRODUCT PEOPLE DON’T WANT. This plan has a higher chance of creating a bubble than a clown making balloon animals in a soap factory.

5 – High-Profile Investor Exits and CEO Warnings

This is like all the birds flying away before a storm. Peter Thiel’s sold his $100 million Nvidia stake. Michael Burry’s shorted Nvidia and Palantir. Softbank is bailing on the $6 billion they had invested. Alphabet’s CEO Sundat Pichai said the frenzy over AI is like the 90s internet bubble. 45% of fund managers flag it as a top tier market risk.

…I could go on. But I said I’d only do five, so that’s all your getting.

You get the idea: the world is about to burn and we’re all sat around saying, “This is fine.”

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