Government To Vote On Stock Trading Ban, Is This Why Pelosi Quit?

The rumors are bubbling up again and it sounds like a stock trading ban might take another step closer to reality once the government un-shuts-down. And this is just days after Pelosi revealed her retirement… hmmm… HMMMMM.

“Speaker Johnson has notified me that as soon as we return and the government is reopened, the bill to ban insider trading is going to be marked up in committee,” Rep. Anna Paulina Luna of Florida recently posted.

Cool, I don’t know what that means, but I’m happy for you.

Although, hold on, did you say it was going to committee? Yeah, that’s a long way from going to a floor vote like you said it would a few months ago…

This bill was first put forward before the government shutdown by the most Texas Republican sounding man ever, Chip Roy, and the most Rhode Island Democrat sounding man ever, Seth Magaziner.

The bill is also supported by AOC, showing that it has bipartisan support, although it still has a long way to go to get enough lawmakers on its side. Public opinion is not split, however, as 86% of Americans back some kind of ban.

stock trading ban graph
idk, does that say 86% anywhere?

If passed, that bill would require current lawmakers (AND their spouses AND their children, wtf?)  to sell their stocks within 180 days and new Congress members to sell off stock holdings before being sworn in. Failure to do so would result in a fine of 10% of that stock value and maybe certain death. Damn girl, chillax.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was seen shortly after the announcement marching down a corridor house-yelling into her phone, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT IT COSTS, SELL IT ALL!” moments before she retired.

Pelosi has long been dogged by accusations of insider trading, exacerbated last year by her husband’s profitable sale of Visa stock shortly before a DoJ antitrust lawsuit against the company. The link is somewhat circumstantial, and no concrete evidence currently exists of Pelosi’s insider trading. Pelosi has even publicly spoken in support of greater regulation, which is exactly what she would say, wouldn’t she? Nevertheless, the running joke has come to exemplify the image of Democratic politicians as a corrupted elite, unlike all other elites, which are perfect.

This isn’t the first time such bills have been proposed, but it does seem to represent a more bipartisan, combined effort. Senator Josh Hawley’s Preventing Elected Leaders from Owning Securities and Investments (yes, that spells out PELOSI) bill passed through a crucial committee just last month. Ironically, Nancy Pelosi herself supported the bill.

Currently, the STOCK Act of 2012 (also voted for by Pelosi) requires lawmakers to disclose any trades over $1,000 within 30 days or pay a $200 fine. However, many believe the law does not go far enough. I personally think it should go even further and forbid politicians from using even money. They should be forced to trade seashells instead.

It seems that the general public’s widespread desire to see more fairness for lawmakers has made its way to Washington. Support is growing for some kind of increased restrictions. Maybe handcuffs when they visit the bank?

For more on insider trading news, click here: Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Insider Trading: “You Can’t Insider Trade When You’re A Political Outsider”

Latest news

Ima Short• November 12, 2025D

Government To Vote On Stock Trading Ban, Is This Why Pelosi Quit?

The rumors are bubbling up again and it sounds like a stock trading ban might take another...
Stonks
Ima Short• D

Government To Vote On Stock Trading Ban, Is This Why Pelosi Quit?

The rumors are bubbling up again and it sounds like a stock trading ban might take another...
Stonks

SoftBank Just Unloaded All Its $5.8 Billion In Nvidia Stock And Everyone Is Asking Why

Why? Well, paradoxically, to fund more AI projects.

Yeah, so SoftBank Group Corp. just cashed in its $5.8 billion dollar stake in Nvidia. Hahaha, chumps, don’t they know that Nvidia is the future of the US economy and the only company worth investing in?

Well, SoftBank clearly doesn’t think so and after the investment firm made massive investments into America’s leading chip maker it seems that they’ve got a different idea in mind.

Maybe it’s just pure ragrats as SoftBank was once the largest shareholder in Nvidia, in what experts are calling the biggest L in finance history.

More SoftBank news: Intel Gains $2bn Softbank Investment, Government To Take 10% Which Definitely Isn’t Socialism

Back in 2017, SoftBank’s Vision Fund acquired a 4.9% stake in Nvidia, becoming one of the company’s largest shareholders. But in 2019 they sold their entire position for $3.3 billion just moments before the AI boom.

Now that 4.9% would be worth a fat $250 billion dollars USD.

CEO Masayoshi Son called Nvidia “the fish that got away” (more like ‘whale’) and was seen in November crying on stage with Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang. 

Masa desperately tried to Ctrl-Z the decision in August this year, reacquiring a 01% stake in Nvidia as a show of faith in their AI investment, a move that I guess they’ve just UNO reversed.

SoftBank earnings graph
Here’s a graph just so that we look like a legit finance site.

SoftBank doubled down on its AI bet in the same month when it announced plans to pump $2bn dollars of money into struggling chip maker, Intel along with the government for some reason.

SoftBank paid $23 per share, a vote of confidence that Trump will commit to helping out Intel, which is the only chip manufacturer on American soil other than Lays. 

Intel has seen slumping stocks for years now after failing to keep up with the AI boom and foreign chip manufacturers. Both these deals and the resulting stock boost could mean a comeback for the former chip-king. Hell, I’d let Intel come inside me any day. What?

Likewise, back in January, SoftBank teamed up with OpenAI, Oracle and MGX to say that they would commit to building $500bn of AI infrastructure across the country. Little is known about project ‘Stargate’, but investors close to the companies say that Softbank is building the legs, MGX has funded construction of the arms and OpenAI is working on the head. When combined, all elements together will have the fighting prowess of a mighty lion.

Stargate is the brainchild of OpenAI CEO Sam Altman who claimed to have come up with the idea when flipping through channels. Reruns of 90s sci-fi shows and 80s cartoons then merged together for him in a dream.

SoftBank Rumored To Be Funding Giant Voltron Robot

“I woke up and thought, ‘What if we could create a real Voltron, but powered by the most advanced AI in the world?’ But obviously, I couldn’t call it that for copyright reasons,” Altman said in a statement. “And that’s how Stargate was born. Just don’t ask how I got the name.”

According to plans for Stargate, the massive robot will stand over 100 feet tall, weigh over 1,000 tons, and can wield various weapons. Why it would need to do this, however, remains an open question.

“Stargate will be the most powerful robot ever created,” continued Altman. “Maybe even more powerful than God.”

The project was announced alongside Turnip’s inauguration in what he called, “A resounding declaration of confidence in America’s potential.” I.e. he doesn’t know what AI does.

Other billionaire, Elon Musk clapped back at the project on the social media platform formerly known as Prince, saying, “They don’t actually have the money. Softbank has well under $10bn secured. I have that on good authority.” Sure you do. “Plus, Voltron was never as cool as Transformers.”

Insert Subheading Here

Altman then retorted, “Wrong, as you surely know. Voltron could beat any transformer in a fight, I’ll show you!” The post included a linked video of Altman smashing an Optimus Prime plastic toy with a Voltron figure.

This rivalry is the latest episode in an ongoing spat that began when the two men helped found OpenAI and then fought for control of the company. They should probably just f*** and get it over with.

Following Musk’s announcement that he intends to build a Grok-powered Transformer, it now seems more likely that this dispute will play out in an epic, kaiju-style fight that will wreak untold destruction on metropolises across the US.

For more fake news, keep locked at Wall Street Memes Dot Company.

Latest news

Ima Short• November 11, 2025D

SoftBank Just Unloaded All Its $5.8 Billion In Nvidia Stock And Everyone Is Asking Why

SoftBank Group Corp. just cashed in its $5.8 billion dollar stake in Nvidia. Hahaha, chump...
Stonks
Ima Short• D

SoftBank Just Unloaded All Its $5.8 Billion In Nvidia Stock And Everyone Is Asking Why

SoftBank Group Corp. just cashed in its $5.8 billion dollar stake in Nvidia. Hahaha, chump...
Stonks

The Government Just Reopened, Here’s How Much The Shutdown Actually Cost

Ok, technically it’s not over yet, but the politicians finally voted in favor of passing a funding bill so the government could reopen in days (hopefully). That’s great because I’ve got an insurrection at the Capitol booked for next Tuesday, and it’s going to be ruined if they don’t let us in.

But the real question that everyone’s asking is how much has this shutdown cost?

Well, it now holds the record for the longest recorded government shutdown since records began. Not since the time of the dinosaurs has the American country gone longer without a government.

1.4 million federal workers are currently without pay, so actually the government’s saved a bunch there. But even with that saving, loans are delayed, planes are grounded and I’ve got to reschedule my insurrection, all adding up to massive costs.

It’s estimated that every week of a shutdown knocks about 0.1 to 0.2 points off economic growth. That translates into about $15bn a week. Now considering it’s been about sex weeks, hold on let me just do some quick math here…

…computing…

…computing…

OK, so the results are in and my computers are telling me that so far the shutdown has therefore cost about $90 billion dollars.

Wow, that’s a lot of money. Well, it’s a lot to me. Obviously, that’s not much if you’re Elon Musk, but that seems like a lot of money to me.

Government? More Like ‘Shit’

Now I know government shutdowns are becoming a bit of a political norm nowadays, this is the 11th since 1980 (six of those under Trump’s watch), but things weren’t always this way. It began in 1980 with a specific interpretation of an 1884 spending law. From the 80s onward suddenly all government spending needed Congressional approval or it wouldn’t happen.

Wallstmemes is in no way affiliated with whatever ‘voronoi’ is… I just liked this slightly out of date graph.

No other country does this by the way. If the government can’t agree on spending bills, that doesn’t mean planes start dropping out the sky, that would be insane, what an insane way to behave.

So if the law was changed once, why can’t it be changed again? Well, because it’s become a political tool. The pay of millions and the smooth running of the country is a hostage that political parties can take then blame each other for not cleaning up the mess.

I guess until we have political peace and love and hand-holding, we’re going to see a lot more governments a-shuting a-down.

Now bare in mind that 

More on this story: Gold At New ATH Ahead Of Government Shutdown

Latest news

Ima Short• November 11, 2025D

The Government Just Reopened, Here’s How Much The Shutdown Actually Cost

Ok, technically it’s not over yet, but the politicians finally voted in favor to pass of...
Politics
Ima Short• D

The Government Just Reopened, Here’s How Much The Shutdown Actually Cost

Ok, technically it’s not over yet, but the politicians finally voted in favor to pass of...
Politics

Tesla Approved Elon’s $1trl Pay Package, Here’s What It’ll Take For Him to Win It

Tesla shareholders have just approved Elon’s famous $1trl pay package, securing Musk’s continued commitment to the company he probably should have already been committed to without a bribe.

But the thing is despite the big headlines, Elon is not now suddenly the world’s first trillionaire, no, he’s going to have to work for it.

Elon Gate

You see, Elon has to ensure Tesla hits some pretty big targets if he’s going to be in with a chance of winning the shares that could be worth up to one trillion dollars. And some of those targets are pretty hard to hit if I say so myself.

For one, Tesla has to reach a market cap of $8.5 trillion, which, come on guys, that’s a little ambitious. Nvidia, which is way more important than you, only just reached 5 trill. Apple, freaking Apple, is still only worth half of what you’re projecting.

Elon Tesla Pay Package
Just look at this graph. Elon’s got a lot of work to do.

So yeah, I think this is all pretty academic, especially when recently Tesla’s sales have slumped, profits have crashed and they face ongoing challenges from China, China, and China.

But it’s fine because Elon has a plan: pivot to making robots, robotaxis and fast food joints. Yeah, that’ll work…

So it’s unlikely Elon will get his trilly, but hey, ‘Elon could earn a trillion dollars’ makes for a pretty catchy headline, I mean, you clicked on it, didn’t you?

Previously On Elon’s Quest To Be Even Richer…

Previously on this story, Elon Musk, the world’s most rich man by volume, gate-crashed his own earnings call to beg shareholders to vote in favor of this controversial $1 trillion pay package. Come on, a guy’s got to eat.

Musk interrupted his CFO at the end of the 75-minute call to say, “I just think that there needs to be enough voting control to give a strong influence, but not, not so much that I can’t be fired if I go insane.”

Wait, why… why would ‘going insane’ even be on the cards, Elon? I never thought you’d go insane. Why did you bring that up? I’m definitely worried that’s now an option, ELON.

Weirdly, that’s almost exactly what he said back in August when he weaselled himself a $30 billion pay bump, “I think my control over Tesla should be enough to ensure that it goes in a good direction, but not so much control that I can’t be thrown out if I go crazy.” We get it, you could go cray-cray, please stop saying it.

But other than that, I feel this is a weirdly measured response which basically boils down to ‘I need more power, please.’ and I guess he now has it…

Elon carried on, “I just don’t feel comfortable building a robot army here and then being ousted because of some asinine recommendations from ISS and Glass Lewis who have no freaking clue.” Jesus, no one’s asking you to build a robot army. I think you might have already gone insane, sir.

Look, a big fat trilly sounds insane for the man who’s already worth more than the entire GDP of his home South Africa, BUT, as a spokesperson put it, “The proposed pay package is actually worth zero to our CEO unless and until the shareholders see the value of the company nearly double and an operational milestone is met.”

I’m sure you’re job is the same, I just know that you wouldn’t get out of bed if you weren’t dangled a massive bonus of double your current earnings. What, you work to the best of your ability and still only get paid your normal rate? Well, shit, sorry mate, maybe you should have thought about that before you became poor.

So in conclusion, yes, they’ve finally granted him his hypothetical one trillion in shares BUT Elon will have an uphill battle for the monies, considering Tesla’s been in a rut lately. Yes, they had a record quarterly revenue from buyers trying to cash in their expiring tax credits, BUT profits dropped 37%. The company continues to face threats from all sides: the US government, Chinese competition, and this random bill for one trillion dollars that no one can seem to explain…

Latest news

Max Profit• November 10, 2025D

Tesla Approved Elon’s $1trl Pay Package, Here’s What It’ll Take For Him to Win It

Tesla shareholders have just approved Elon’s famous $1trl pay package, securing Musk’s...
Elon
Max Profit• D

Tesla Approved Elon’s $1trl Pay Package, Here’s What It’ll Take For Him to Win It

Tesla shareholders have just approved Elon’s famous $1trl pay package, securing Musk’s...
Elon

Nancy Pelosi Is Retiring And Her Final Payout Is Wild

Famed insider trader and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has decided not to run for re-election next year, and the finance trades have been spiralling because of it.

“But how will I know how to invest?” commented one distressed junior trader. “My entire portfolio is based on Pelosi Tracker. What am I supposed to use? Reverse Cramer?”

Yes, the Big NP made a killing in politics. In 1987, before taking office, she and her husband had between $610,000 and $785,000 in stocks. Now that’s worth $133.7 million. You know what that is? That’s a 16,930% increase over 37 years. For comparison, the Dow Jones was 2,300%. Against the S&P, she beat that too by 559%. Does she know something we don’t?

Pelosi? More like, Gross-ly Overpaid

Pelosi has long been dogged by accusations of insider trading, exacerbated last year by her husband’s profitable sale of Visa stock shortly before a DoJ antitrust lawsuit against the company. The link is somewhat circumstantial, and no concrete evidence currently exists of Pelosi’s insider trading. Pelosi has even publicly spoken in support of greater regulation, which is exactly what she would say, wouldn’t she? Nevertheless, the running joke has come to exemplify the image of Democratic politicians as a corrupted elite, unlike all other elites, which are perfect.

HOT TIP: If you’re a Democrat, simply rinse and repeat this same critique, but against Marjorie Taylor Greene. (Don’t get that joke? Read this: Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Insider Trading: “You Can’t Insider Trade When You’re A Political Outsider”)

Pelosi
Live footage of Pelosi counting how many 13-millions she’s earned…

Currently, the STOCK Act of 2012 (also voted for by Pelosi) requires lawmakers to disclose any trades over $1,000 within 30 days or pay a $200 fine. However, many believe the law does not go far enough. I personally think it should go even further and forbid politicians from using even money. They should be forced to trade seashells instead.

It seems that the general public’s widespread desire to see more fairness for lawmakers has made its way to Washington. Support is growing for some kind of increased restrictions. Maybe handcuffs when they visit the bank?

It’s OK because her husband did it, not her

Pelosi’s already got Democrats lined up to fill her vacant seat. In the queue we’ve got San Francisco Supervisor Connie Chan, former San Francisco Mayor London Breed (weird name but ok), AOC’s former staffer Saikat Chakrabarti and Democratic California state Sen. Scott Wiener. SAY THEIR NAMES.

Whether they’ll be as prolific traders as Nance was remains to be seen but who knows maybe we’ll all be trading on Chakrabarti Trackers this time next year…

For more Pelosi news, read this one: Congress Trading Ban Announced, Pelosi Frantically Uninstalls Robinhood

Latest news

Bill Fold• November 10, 2025D

Nancy Pelosi Is Retiring And Her Final Payout Is Wild

Famed insider trader and former House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, has decided not to run for re...
Politics
Bill Fold• D

Nancy Pelosi Is Retiring And Her Final Payout Is Wild

Famed insider trader and former House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, has decided not to run for re...
Politics

Bitcoin Drops Below $100,000: Will It Keep Dropping?

No: It’s Fine.

Ngl, turns out this headline was a day old when I banked it and now Bitcoin has risen back up again above $100,000 so we’re fine I guess.

The ORIGINAL value slide came about, though, because all risky assets were hit in favor of more stable monetary monies. Why even that though? Well there’s been a lot of talk about an AI bubble but eh, who knows, there’s a lot of talk these days, who knows. Me? No, I know nothing, I’m just paid to pretend I know what I’m talking about… what was I talking about…

Oh yeah, so Bitcoin fell 5%, down below $100,000 for the first time in four months, BUT now it’s bounced back again above so who cares.

Bitcoin graph
please enjoy this slightly blurry graph of information

Solana and Ether was also down. Are you going to ask about our coin? The WSM Token? You want to know about that price? No one ever cares about our crypto but we have our own crypto guys and it’s really cool. Yes, it’s pretty much worthless. Yes, it was all a big joke from the beginning but still, it would be nice if you asked about it every once in a while…

Related: “Bitcoin Will Never Reach $20 Again” He Said In 2011, Here’s How Much He’s Lost Now

I’m looking at it now and Bitcoin’s at like, $103,195 so yeah, you’re fine. That’s still below it’s atl of 126, but who cares you know up is up and nothing can take that away from me.

Bitcoin? More Like Shit Coin

“The main driver was stronger-than-expected data, alongside growing speculation that the government shutdown might come to an end soon,” the analysts said. Which analysts? Well, I’m just copying this from another article that I haven’t read so honestly don’t ask me.

I mean, Jesus Christ, if you’re really relying on a website called Wall Street Memes for your financial information, you should probably take a good, hard look in the mirror, son.

You know what? Fuck it, here’s the rest of that article just copied and pasted from Yahoo Finance, where you should probably be instead of here:

Fundstrat head of digital assets Sean Farrell said on Monday that “whale selling,” or investors with large holdings, had risen over the past few weeks.

“Whales — they continue to hammer price,” he said, noting that billions in bitcoin (BTC-USD) have recently been moved from private wallets to exchanges, presumably to be sold.

Simon Peters, crypto analyst for eToro, said in commentary on Wednesday that the fall in bitcoin (BTC-USD) “stemmed from the recent FOMC meeting, where Chairman Powell poured cold water on the idea of a December rate cut”.

Last week, the US Federal Reserve lowered interest rates by 0.25% to a range of of 3.75% to 4.00%. However, Powell said in press conference following the central bank meeting last week that another rate cut in December is “not a foregone conclusion – far from it”, dampening hopes of a reduction next month.

In addition, Peters said that bitcoin (BTC-USD) liquidations of $915m since the start of November had also contributed the recent fall in the token.

“While the pullback is likely to rattle some investors, volatility of this scale is not unusual,” Peters said. He highlighted that bitcoin (BTC-USD) had seen several drawdowns of over 30% in recent years, such as between January and April this year, when the price slid from $109,000 to $74,500, before soaring 70% to an all-time high of $126,300.

“Despite the current correction, bitcoin (BTC-USD) remains in a long-term uptrend, forming higher highs and higher lows,” he said. “Short-term catalysts such as renewed expectations for rate cuts or continued inflows into spot bitcoin ETFs [exchange-traded funds] could quickly cause prices to reverse and rally again very quickly.”

Cool, you happy now? You enjoy that? Yeah, me neither. Go home.

Latest news

Ima Short• November 6, 2025D

Bitcoin Drops Below $100,000: Will It Keep Dropping?

Bitcoin fell 5%, down below $100,000 for the first time in four months, BUT now it’s bou...
Memecoins
Ima Short• D

Bitcoin Drops Below $100,000: Will It Keep Dropping?

Bitcoin fell 5%, down below $100,000 for the first time in four months, BUT now it’s bou...
Memecoins

Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton (PTON) just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (those snakes) reported that they were recalling 833,000 bikes.

The bikes in question are called the Bike+ (more like Bike minus amiright?), sold between Jauary 2020 and April 2025 but get this the recall was sparked by just three complaints.

Ok, yes, of those three complaints, two customers were injured, and yes, of those two injuries, one was fatal and yes, regarding that one fatal injury I did make up that last detail but 833,000 bikes, a massive amount of money and lord knows how much good will thrown down the drain? Phaw!

Peloton injury diagram
yeah you can freaking die from these things so let that be a lesson to ya

“The integrity of our products and our Members’ well-being are our top priorities,” Peloton spokesperson Stephanie Tackach said in an emailed statement to TechCrunch. “We are taking this opportunity to make replacement seat posts available to all affected Bike+ users and we encourage them to contact us to receive the redesigned seat post as soon as possible.”

Awks.

Peloton? More Like ‘Lost-A-Ton’

But really this is nothing. As you might remember, back in 2023 Peloton were forced to recall an insane 2.2 MILLION exercise bikes due to similar reports of injuries.

At this point maybe Peloton should just admit their whole scheme. Get everyone hooked on Peloton and then murder them.

Yes, there’s probably more efficient ways to bump off bike riders but don’t forget that Peloton is in the pocket of big automobile who started this whole brand to get cyclists off the road. The next logical step is to simply kill them.

…Don’t ask me for my sources!

I don’t have any related articles, so here’s an article that happens to have the word ‘bike’ in it: Trump’s Son-In-Law Buys Electronic Arts For $55bn

Latest news

Robert• November 6, 2025D

Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commiss...
Stonks
Robert• D

Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering

Peloton just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commiss...
Stonks

Buffett Joins Burry Preparing For A Crash: Are We Heading For The Big Short 2?

The OG GOAT, Warren Buffett, is ditching his Berkshire Hathaway stocks in favor of a massive cash reserve, and it’s getting people worried that cash = crash.

Buffett’s investment firm now has a record $381.7 billion cash stockpile, all tied down and waterproof for when the rain’s a-coming. Or hey, maybe this is just prudence, after all, the rest of the economy is up, Berkshire’s stock is down 2% so what do they know?

BUT… but, couple this with the latest news that Michael Burry was also seen stocking his fallout shelter, and well, we might have cause to worry.

The famed investor depicted in the Big Short movie disclosed his short position of $1.1 billion against Nvidia and Palantir stock, a sure sign that he thinks the AI bubble will soon burst.

Buffett-ed By The Storm

Orrrr, maybe it’s nothing, as this one article I found online explained it nicely, so I’m just going to copy it wholesale:

““If you feel like stocks are expensive, including your own shares, you’re eventually going to be right, but you can be wrong for a long time,” said James Shanahan, an analyst at Edward Jones who recently upgraded Berkshire to a “buy” rating. This echoes Buffett’s history of sitting on cash during frothy markets, only to deploy it during downturns — like the 2008 financial crisis when he snapped up bargains.”

…it’s not plagiarism when they’ve clearly used AI, right?

Buffett graph
Here’s a graph. Idk, is that useful to you at all?

Buffett (no relation to Jimmy) is due to step down as CEO of his investment firm next May, probably because he’s 95… NINETY FIVE?? Wtf guy? Five years off one hundred and he’s still investing? Still got the moves? Still hustling? Bro, you have enough money, it’s ok, you can retire…

So who’s to say what will happen? Since we’re not big-shot investors, the best we can do is keep our fingers crossed and hope we don’t see ‘The Big Short 2: Electric Boogaloo’ in theatres any time soon.

Latest news

Ima Short• November 6, 2025D

Buffett Joins Burry Preparing For A Crash: Are We Heading For The Big Short 2?

The OG GOAT, Warren Buffett, is ditching his Berkshire Hathaway stocks in favor of a massi...
Stonks
Ima Short• D

Buffett Joins Burry Preparing For A Crash: Are We Heading For The Big Short 2?

The OG GOAT, Warren Buffett, is ditching his Berkshire Hathaway stocks in favor of a massi...
Stonks

Tesla Shareholders Vote Today On Musk’s $1T Pay Package: Will Elon Be The 1st Trillionaire?

Tesla shareholders are meeting in Austin, Texas right now with the course of history in their hands: will Elon Musk quit the company as nothing more than the world’s richest man? Or will they give him a trillion dollars and make him even more the world’s richest man?

Either way, this article will probably be out of date by the time you read it.

We’re talking about the hotly contested pay package that, if Elon can make Tesla hit its targets, will grant him up to $1 trillion dollars in United States money (dollars).

That’s a pretty hot bribe, so hot in fact that if the shareholders vote to take it away from Musk, he might just take his ball and go home.

Shit, I wish I could get a trillion dollars just from threatening to leave my job, wait, let me try it…

…no. They said I was welcome to quit and I just shrivelled and said in the smallest, most pathetic voice, ‘noooo, thank you, I’ll staaayyyy’…

Elons For A Pay Rise (Get it? like, ‘he longs’, Elon… no?)

Anyways. I know a trillion sounds like a lot but it’s not like they’re physically handing him over a football field’s worth of stacked dollar bills. No, we’re talking about a 423.7 million shares, which are worth about a trillion dollars. So that’s all fair then.

And all that’s only if Tesla can reach a market cap of $8.5 trillion, which, come on guys, that’s a little ambitious. Nvidia, which is way more important than you, only just reached 5 trill. Apple, freaking Apple, is still only worth half of what you’re projecting.

Elon Tesla Pay Package
I ain’t reading all that but I assume it’s a good thing.

So yeah, I think this is all pretty academic, especially when recently Tesla’s sales have slumped, profits have crashed and they face ongoing challenges from China, China, and China.

But it’s fine because Elon has a plan: pivot to making robots, robotaxis and fast food joints. Yeah, that’ll work…

So it’s unlikely Elon will get his trilly from this vote at least even if it does go through but hey, ‘Elon could earn a trillion dollars’ makes for a pretty catchy headline, I mean, you clicked on it, didn’t you?

Latest news

Max Profit• November 6, 2025D

Tesla Shareholders Vote Today On Musk’s $1T Pay Package: Will Elon Be The 1st Trillionaire?

Tesla shareholders are meeting in Austin right now decide: make Elon quit the company as t...
Elon
Max Profit• D

Tesla Shareholders Vote Today On Musk’s $1T Pay Package: Will Elon Be The 1st Trillionaire?

Tesla shareholders are meeting in Austin right now decide: make Elon quit the company as t...
Elon

OpenAI’s Money Problem: Why the Government Might Have To Bail Them Out With Public Funds

Here’s a riddle: how does a non-profit make a profit?

That’s what OpenAI is currently wrestling with. They are now simultaneously the most valued startup in the world at half a trillion dollars, the flagship of the AI boom, but also they haven’t made any money yet. …what a conundrum.

The current roadmap for the company is to spend far beyond its revenue and the question becomes, how?

Well, recently OpenAI’s CFO Sarah Friar said they might find a solution “looking for an ecosystem of banks, private equity, maybe even governmental” partners and that there are many “ways governments can come to bear” which “can really drop the cost of the financing but also increase the loan-to-value, so the amount of debt you can take on top of an equity portion.”

The interviewer asked if that was like a federal subsidy, to which Friar said she meant, “the backstop, the guarantee, that allows the financing to happen.”

OpenAI? More Like Open A Bank Account

Cool, simple, so the American public can foot the bill basically, oh no wait… SCRATCH THAT.

Friar has since walked back her comments in a post on LinkedIn, writing, “I want to clarify my comments earlier today. OpenAI is not seeking a government backstop for our infrastructure commitments.”

“I used the word “backstop” and it muddied the point. As the full clip of my answer shows, I was making the point that American strength in technology will come from building real industrial capacity which requires the private sector and government playing their part.”

Smooth positive pivot there.

“As I said, the US government has been incredibly forward-leaning and has really understood that AI is a national strategic asset.” …Aaand a final pivot to ass-kissing. Stuck the landing, well played PR team.

OpenAI Linkedin post
“3rd”? Sarah, I invited you to my wedding. ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST.

Ah, ok, fine, fine fine. So what is the plan then? Well, OpenAI’s already in talks with Microsoft to help them go public and obviously they’re not short of private interest. So we can only wait and see how that plays out.

But the Friar’s words might be prophetic if, as many fear, the AI bubble does burst we could see a crash like nothing we’ve ever seen and OpenAI would be at the wheel.

Sam Altman has his fingers in so many pies that if the pies explode, then who’s going to save his precious fingers?

It looks like the United States Government of America might just be that finger doctor after all…

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