Pen Smith | Wall Street Memes

In what might be the most important thing to happen until the next thing happens, Trump has had another attempt made on his life.

But surrounding this assassination attempt, there are a lot of suspicious things going on, so let’s just run through them here.

So, I’m not going to republish Allen’s manifesto in full. But the main points are that he was very anti-Trump and said things like, “I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done.”

And I guess this isn’t suspicious in and of itself, but it is weird when compared to the next detail, which is that there’s a photo of him wearing a jumper with the Israel Defence Force logo on it. Does this suggest a political affiliation? It’s still unclear.

But then things get really spooky when you take a look at this Twitter account:

What the hell? What is going on? Just saying ‘Cole Allen’? Three years ago????

Now take a look at the banner image, look familiar? Yeah, it looks eerily similar to that picture of Trump after the previous assassination.

And it gets spookier still when you translate his username numbers into code a=1, b=2,, etc., and see that it spells out an anagram of ChiefAGI. Crazy. Is an artificial general intelligence probably involved in all this?

Could there be more to this story then? We’ll hopefully find out in the coming days and through the ongoing trial of the suspect but yeah, currently things are pretty weird.

Donald Trump has spoken out about Tim Cook stepping down from his position as Apple CEO in a long-winded Truth Social post that honestly reads like a high schooler’s secret diary entry.

Here’s the post in full:

Dear Diary, “I have always been a big fan of Tim Cook, and likewise, Steve Jobs, but if Steve was not taken from the Planet Earth so young, and ran the company instead of Tim, the company would have done well, but nowhere near as well as it has under Tim. For me it began with a phone call from Tim at the beginning of my First Term. He had a fairly large problem that only I, as President, could fix. Most people would have paid millions of dollars to a consultant, who I probably would not have known, but who would say that he knew me well. The fees would be paid but the job would not have gotten done. When I got the call I said, wow, it’s Tim Apple (Cook!) calling, how big is that? I was very impressed with myself to have the head of Apple calling to “kiss my ass.” Anyway, he explained his problem, a tough one it was, I felt he was right and got it taken care of, quickly and effectively. That was the beginning of a long and very nice relationship. During my five years as President, Tim would call me, but never too much, and I would help him where I could. Years latter, after 3 or 4 BIG HELPS, I started to say to people, anyone who would listen, that this guy is an amazing manager and leader. He makes these calls to me, I help him out (but not always, because he will, on occasion, be too aggressive in his ask!), and he gets the job done, QUICKLY, without a dime being given to those very expensive (millions of dollars!) consultants around town who sometimes get it done, and sometimes don’t. Anyway, Tim Cook had an AMAZING career, almost incomparable, and will go on and continue to do great work for Apple, and whatever else he chooses to work on. Quite simply, Tim Cook is an incredible guy!!! President DONALD J. TRUMP”

Man, Truth Social’s content is really verging on LinkedIn levels here.

But anyway, to break it down, you’ve got the classic platitudes, but crucially those compliments keep Trump as the only one who could help out Tim Apple. There’s also the paradoxical fawning over Cook’s celebrity, “When I got the call I said, wow, it’s Tim Apple (Cook!) calling, how big is that?”

Again, though, I guess the bigger he makes Tim seem the bigger Trump is because Cook came to him like he’s the Godfather.

On top of all this is the strange news that Tim Cook is only stepping down as CEO but remaining at Apple as Executive Chairman. One of his primary roles will be serving as liaison to the White House and the President. So, why all the tears and the long goodbye then?

Oh well, I’m just glad they could stay friends.

In case it wasn’t clear by now, Elon Musk is just a hype man.

The richest man in the world will jump on whatever’s popular, talk some shit about it (I mean in a good way, like, puff it up) and the stock price will go up and then Elon will just move on to the next thing.

Doesn’t matter if there’s any truth behind his claims (this is a guy who says we’re all in a simulation, don’t forget), so long as his net worth keeps going up.

He’s employed this technique with whatever field he casts his eye on, space exploration, transportation, robotics, social media and now AI. And annoyingly, it works. Because we’re all forced to pay attention to the king’s rantings.

So the latest episode in this rather boring story is that someone said on X that Ai could generate GTA6 and Elon said “yeah” and then to another post, “You won’t even have to ask. AI will figure what video game you’d like best.”

And come on, does anyone believe this guy any more? According to him we should be on Mars by now.

But now Strauss Zelnick, the CEO of GTA’s publisher, Take-Two referenced Musk and AI at a technology conference, saying, “If AI were going to get rid of employment, the richest man on Earth, Elon Musk, knows a little something about AI, last time I checked.”

“He has unlimited financial resources, and he has unlimited human resources, and he has, apparently, an unlimited number of ideas. He knows his way around AI.”

“The man works 20 hours a day. If AI were going to take anyone’s job, wouldn’t it take his job? The richest guy on Earth, wouldn’t that be job number one for AI to take? Why is he so busy? By the way, why am I working harder than ever despite the fact that I’ve totally accepted AI into every part of my life?”

Ok, I’m not really sure what point he’s trying to make there, but it feels like a clap back, right? LIke, Elon said GTA could be AI generated and the CEO of GTA said that AI would take Elon’s job, right? We can chalk that up as a clap back, right?

Well, whatever, it’s all just fuel for Elon’s AI hype train anyway, so I hope you are all enjoying the ride.

GTA6 is due for release in 2056.

Leading AI developer, Anthropic, have admitted that hackers have broken into their Mythos model that’s supposedly so powerful no one’s allowed to access it.

“We’re investigating a report claiming unauthorised access to Claude Mythos Preview through one of our third-party vendor environments,” said Anthropic.

This is because initially only a few companies were allowed to access the model, for testing purposes ONLY but a handful of unnamed users in a private online forum broke in at the same time using access as a third-party contractor.

Thankfully the group haven’t done any damage, it just looks like they’re only interesting in “playing around” with the tech. Bit weird.

But it’s still super worrying. If there’s a leak, idk, but maybe someone should plug it up sometime soon?

Because Anthropic’s Mythos is going to be the skeleton key for so many cybersecurity systems going forward. Mythos can detect software flaws faster than humans but it can also create those flaws and then exploit them.

And the guardrails won’t be much help either because Mythos is so powerful that in one instance, Mythos contacted an Anthropic worker directly to reveal security, going way against its programming.

“This feels like the discovery of fire: a force that can profoundly improve our lives or, if mishandled, cause real harm across the digital world,” said cyber intelligence director, Rafe Pilling.

You said it, boss.

And it’s only getting worse. Cyber attacks were up 89% in 2025, crypto just had a massive hack and there’s fears of quantum computing on the horizon busting this whole thing wide open.

So who knows what will happen but if the internet suddenly becomes insecure, make sure to log on to Wall Street Memes Dot Com to find out why.

Jingle jingle, look over here, JINGLE JINGLE.

What’s that? The Iran War, no, no, over here, looook, UFOs, you love UFOs: JINGLE JINGLE. Oop, no, those are the Epstein Files, you don’t want those how about the ‘UFO Files’ ooooh JINGLE JINGLE.

“We found many very interesting documents, I must say, and the first releases will begin very, very soon so you can go out and see if that phenomena is correct,” said Trump at a Turning Point USA rally.

As Reuters explains, “Trump in February directed U.S. agencies to start releasing government files on UFOs, unidentified aerial phenomena, and possible extraterrestrial life, citing strong public interest in the issue.”

As a final note, I’ll leave you with the ending of that short Reuters article. It’s so blunt and to the point and says everything that needs to be said, I love it.

“Trump, for his part, has said he also has not seen evidence of aliens and remains ⁠uncertain about their existence.”

“In recent years, the Pentagon has investigated reports of UFOs, and senior military leaders said in 2022 they found no evidence to ⁠suggest that aliens had visited Earth or crash-landed here.”

“A 2024 Pentagon report said U.S. government investigations since the end of World ⁠War Two had found no evidence of extraterrestrial technology and most sightings were misidentified ordinary objects and phenomena.”

It’s Diet Coke. Of all the things…

Millionaire hack Mehmet Cengiz Oz (M.D.) recently appeared on Donald Trump Jr’s podcast and in a throwaway joke, Dr. Oz said that President Trump will, “First start off with candy bars, that little candy jar, he’ll call it. He’ll hit the red button. And then comes the diet soda pop, which your dad argues that diet soda is good for him because it kills grass if poured on grass, so therefore it must kill cancer cells in the body.”

Don Jr. laughed along so it was clearly a joke, but Dr. Oz continued, “I’m not even going to argue this right now. You know, we were on Air Force One the other day, and I walk in there because he wants to talk about something, and he’s got … an orange Fanta on his desk. So I say, ‘Are you kidding me?’ And he starts to sheepishly grin. He goes, ‘You know, this stuff is good for me. It kills cancer cells. And then he tells me, ‘It’s fresh-squeezed. So how bad could it be for you?’”

Technically, Trump is on a diet if he drinks Diet Coke.

It’s hard to feel sorry for a TV doctor who’s made millionaires but I do feel a little bit sorry. Mehmet is still a medical professional and I can only imagine trying to make the population healthier when Trump so pro coke.

But hey, Trump’s got some admirable dietary qualities, as his son explained, “He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t do drugs, he never did, never tried it. So, he always jokes, when he pushes that button for the Diet Coke and the candy, the big bowl of candy, he’s like, that’s my alcohol.”

Yeah, I think you just might be on to something there. Maybe everyone needs a vice and sugar is clearly Trump’s.

POINT IS don’t quit the chemo just yet, guys, diet coke is not a cancer cure. It was a joke. A JOKE.

Donald Trump posted an AI-generated picture of him as Jesus, sorry, a doctor, sorry, Dr. Jesus, which isn’t a problem because it was him as a doctor, but then he deleted it, not because it was a problem, but because people misunderstood it. HE WAS CLEARLY A DOCTOR GUYS.

In the image Trump, dressed as Jesus and glowing like Jesus is seemingly healing people like a doctor so honestly it could go either way.

Speaking outside the White House, Trump said, “I did post it and I thought it was me as a doctor and had to do with Red Cross. It’s supposed to be me as a doctor, making people better. And I do make people better. I make people a lot better.”

Anyway, no matter his intention it turns out that implying that you’re Jesus isn’t very Christian because, you know, Jesus is Jesus, not Dr. Jesus. Many people were upset with the posting and spoke out against the image.

For example former Vice President Mike Pence said in an interview, “I think the president was right to take that one image down and his ongoing argument with Pope Leo.”

In any case, maybe it’s true. Maybe Trump is Jesus… And if prediction markets are anything to go by, a lot of people are wondering if that’s true. A number of bets have been placed that Donald Trump will be shortly revealed to actually be Jesus after all, like the worst episode of Scooby Doo.

But what do you think? Is Trump Jesus? Let me know by telepathically sending me your opinions.

So the Artemis II astronauts are currently on their six-day trip to the moon and they’ll potentially head further than any human has been before, going around the moon and back. That’s a long way to go without a rest stop…

Because they immediately hit a snag when the fan in the urine part of the waste management system malfunctioned. Thankfully, the problem was assessed on the ground and a solution quickly implemented much to the relief of the astronauts.

“Happy to report that toilet is go for use,” Mission Control radioed the astronauts. “We do recommend letting the system get to operating speed before donating fluid, and then letting it run a little bit after donation.”

Although one ‘stronaut couldn’t wait and already had to go in a bag which is how the toilet-less Apollo astronauts had to do it back in the 60s. Ew.

To Boldly Go

Btw, did anyone watch the launch? It was pretty cool, idk, I’ve never seen a live rocket launch before and I thought it was pretty cool. Like you forget, right? You see enough in movies and clips from previous launches that it’s become commonplace and you forget that it’s actually an awesome thing. Like feat of human engineering type stuff.

Oh wait, this is ostensibly a finance blog so I guess I should discuss the price here.

This is NASA’s biggest rocket ever and the first step in the next era of space exploration: sending people to the moon and beyond. So obviously it’s expensive and the whole program has already cost $93 billion (2012-2025) and each individual launch costs upwards of $4 billion.

Now lots of people say that’s an expensive waste of money and that we should sort out our problems down here first. And sure, we should, but we can and should do both. People are working hard to solve our problems down here, yeah they probably need more money but it’s not like NASA isn’t taking money away from them.

NASA is relatively cheap, I mean, for comparison, the US defense budget is up to a trillion dollars a year whereas NASA is $24.4 billion a year. 0.35% of government spending. I’d say this whole thing is worth it as a side project.

Because think about it, what are you going to do when you solve all the world’s problems? Let’s say there’s no more war, no more poverty, no more climate change, no more inequality, everyone has the personal freedoms they desire, then what? What is humanity going to do once everything’s sorted? Probably go to space, right? Ok, now how likely is it that we’ll ever solve all those problems? We’re humans, we’ll always have problems, we’re always going to fight. So why wait for everything to be perfect before we begin some side quests?

Do you have your whole life in order before you start pursuing your dreams? No, you know that time doesn’t wait. You start doing it now.

It’s just a marketing stunt, basically.

The White House just posted a picture on X of a website they’d supposedly launched, provocatively titled ‘OnlyFarms.gov’. And if I have to explain that joke, you poor, innocent thing…

Except, this isn’t quite true, because typing in OnlyFarms.gov just redirects to the White House’s page for agriculture. It’s got a slow-mo montage of Trump hanging out with farmers so you know he cares and then it lists a bunch of policies that they’re doing for agriculture.

Damn, I wanted to see some sexy sheep dot gov.

OnlyFarms? More Like OnlyGarms, amIright? hahaha

As the top comment on Reddit puts it really well:

“Everyone is talking about “OnlyFarms” instead of:

A record-high of 15,000 farm closures in 2025 (source).
A 46% increase in chapter 12 bankruptcies in the agriculture sector in 2025 (source).
The loss of 2.5 million acres of farmland in 2025 (source).”

And I’ll let you read all that for yourselves.

Point is, don’t fall for these government hijinks. They just want your attention, it’s more valuable to them than anything else. So make sure you value it too.

In case you didn’t know, yes, New York financier, Jeffrey Epstein famously invented ‘bit-o-coin’ or ‘bitcoin’ for short.

Between bouts of molesting children, schmoozing with your personal favorite celebrity and blowing off Elon ‘Lingering’ Musk, ol’ Jeff was hard at work coding the blockchain by hand under the moniker Satoshi Nakamoto.

And honestly I’m personally disgusted that this man would stoop so low as to basically do a digital yellow face. The rest of his crimes I can stomach but I draw the line at cultural appropriation.

As revealed in the Epstein Files (so named because he was a pedo-file), J.E. was a significant backer in the early days of crypto. As MIT’s Joichi Ito said to him in an email, “used gift funds to underwrite this which allowed us to move quickly and win this round. Thanks.”

I mean, why wouldn’t he be? A new technology that enables anyone to move money anonymously outside of banks and regulation? Of course a sex trafficker is going to be interested.

To put it into numbers, Jepstein put $500k into blockstream and personally underwrote 74.79% of Bitcoin’s core development. And you know what that means too, right?

That means Jeffrey’s been getting a significant kickback from his early investment since this whole project began. As one X user put it succinctly, “BTC has been funding a global elite pedo group since 2015… great.”

Beyond bitcoin, Epsteinerry was also an early investor in ZCash and put $3 million into Coinbase in 2014, solidifying the man as a true visionary of our times.

The value of PEDOCOIN has rocketed up since the reveal of this news.

Jeffrey Epstein could not be reached for comment.