Pen Smith | Wall Street Memes

Bing, Yahoo, the US Government, a good encyclopedia, so many have tried to break Google’s near-total monopoly on searching for information that I think we all just imagined typing in what we were looking for, clicking a link, and calling that a ‘google’ would just always be how we connected with reality.

But just building an identical search engine was never going to take on the goog. No, we needed to rethink everything, not just offer a slightly different search, but change the way we think about retrieving information altogether.

And you know the next part of the story: AI.

Yeah, turns out people like talking to something to get their information, you know, like we’ve evolved to do for millions of years.

Google Shmoogle

ChatGPT’s long been coming for Google’s lunch, and now they’ve really stepped onto their turf with the launch of the shitily-named OpenAI’s ChatGPT Atlas. Don’t worry, I’m sure we won’t shorten it to Atlas, which would make sense, no, we’ll keep calling it ChatGPT forever.

It’s currently only available on Mac (because of course it is) and replaces regular web browsing with an AI-enhanced search. Yay…

Now no one can make fun of grandma for googling, “Excuse me, Mr. Google, but please do you happen to know what the capital of Gibraltar is? And if so, please could you tell me the answer?” rather than just, “Gibraltar capital.”

OpenAI's ChatGPT Google Rival, Atlas — Great, but does it have a little animated logo for when the Olympic Games come around?

Atlas has come about because the non-profit OpenAI has only now realised that they need to make money. Funny that. So the idea is that brands will pay OpenAI to have their products listed higher than others. Oh, I’m sorry, did you want reliable information? Phhf, gtfo.

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for ‘em

Google is still king with the most popular web browser in the world, Chrome. Microsoft Edge is the default on all Windows computers, and here’s the crucial thing. Both browsers are already offering their own AI search options, basically the same product ChatGPT just launched, but with more core users.

And here I am, writing this in a Google doc, Google News opened in another tab, running in Chrome, all on my Chromebook. So yeah, un-monopolising this monopoly will be an uphill battle for sure.

Who knows, maybe someday OpenAI or someone else will dethrone the king, but whatever happens, whether we’re searching with ChatGPT, Bing, or Ask Jeeves, I think we’ll always call it a ‘google’.

Genuinely no one seems to have noticed…

Last week, President Donald Trump announced his plan to build America’s very own Arc de Triomphe, but better because it won’t be French.

If approved, the proposed stone archway (mockingly dubbed the Arc de Trump) would be built across the Potomac from the Lincoln Memorial, on the current site of a roundabout in Virginia.

But look at this picture, LOOK AT IT!

This is the model display that Trump used to unveil the plans for the arch. You can see the Ark Of The Covenant in the distance there and the Lincoln Memorial in the foreground, but there’s one little problem…

In real life, the Lincoln Memorial isn’t in line with the Arlington Memorial Bridge; it’s in line with the National Mall (that square of darker green at the bottom).

This can only mean that Trump PLANS TO ROTATE THE ENTIRE LINCOLN MEMORIAL 45 DEGREES.

No, there’s no way they just got it wrong on the model or set it up like that because it looks better, no, the plan is BURROW UNDERNEATH THE MONUMENT, RAISE IT UP ON HYDROLIC JACKS, TURN IT EVER SO SLIGHTLY, AND THEN PUT IT BACK DOWN.

Honest Abe will get his very own hora (that’s the Jewish chair dance you uncultured swine). We can all sing Hava Nagila. It’ll be fun, you should come alone.

The building will then sit completely misaligned from the Washington Monument, the White House, and the Capitol, but at least it’ll line up with the arch, that’s the important thing.

The Arc D’rump is just one part of Trump’s plan to do what every real estate developer does best: gentrify! He also plans to build a $250 million ballroom onto the White House. All just so Trump can do the YMCA, apparently.

It’s unclear how much constructing the arch, rotating Lincoln, building the ballroom and digging a network of secret passageways connecting them all will cost but rest assured it’s worth it.

Alright, that’s enough of that, Trump, hit with your best moves! *Trump starts to do the Floss* Everybody!

Hava nagila! Hava nagila! Hava nagila ve-nismeḥa! HEY!

For more Trump construction news, read this: Trump Slashes Social Security to Fund Diamond Hands Statue

US (United States) Pres (President) Don (Donald) Trump (Trump) has CONFIRMED that we are in a trade war with China (China) potentially ruling him out of the coveted Nobel Prize For Peace Prize.

Trump was asked by a reporter today, “Are we in for a sustained trade war with China?” to which he replied, “Well, you’re in one now. Look, we have 100% tariff– IF WE DIDN’T HAVE TARIFFS [sic] we would be exposed as being a nothing, we would have no defense.”

The Pres-ident seemed surprised that he even had to clarify that we were in a trade war saying, you’re in one with a tone as if to say, “Yeah, duh. Obvs trade war. TW. Tradey-B. Ya feel? [sic]”

Trump trade war potc gif — Trump rn but about trade wars

The comments come following a week of heightened tensions between the two countries and preceding Trump’s upcoming meeting with schzeee-shczing-ping. Is that how you pronounce it? Tremp. That’s how I pronounce Trump. Tremp. Deneld Tremp.

But on the had hand on the other hand i mena, I mean. Sorry, I’ve. I’m very drenk. Drunk. ON THE OTHER HAND, Scott Bessent, the Treasury of… He said that an extension on the tariff pause was possible IF China loosens its controls on rare earth metals.

Basically, there’s a lot still to be worked out, so nothing to see here.

Trump Attempts To Escalate And De-escalate At The Same Time

Earlier in the week, Tromp tried to de-escalate, saying on Truth Social (like X but somehow more shit), “Don’t worry about China, it will all be fine! Highly respected President Xi just had a bad moment. He doesn’t want Depression for his country, and neither do I. The U.S.A. wants to help China, not hurt it!!! President DJT”

But what does this all mean for Trimp’s noble peace price? Well, the DJ was looking to win a prise or two after declaring war is over (happy xmas) in Gaza (Middle East), BUT it seems like he’s been gazumped. Because you can’t go around saying that you’ve solved war forever with one hand and then on/in the other hand say that we’re in a trade war.

No sir, no madam.

Congress is pushing to make their own extra cool nobel praise and then anoint Trump with that instead. If this goes ahead, Trump will officially be a part of the nobility and will henceforth be referred to as Sir Trump upon pain of death.

Tremp.

Donald Trump just saved the world. Thank you, Donald Trump. Israel and Gaza and Palestine and Hamas have a ceasefire and have exchanged hostages in the next step towards peace forever in the universe forever.

Thank you, Donald Trump.

During a really long rambling press conference, in which Trump chastised other speakers for how long they spoke and took shots at Obama and Biden, Donald Trump repeatedly referred to Netanyahu by his diminutive, Bibi. But the way Trump says it with his THICK, THICK accent, it really sounded like ‘baby’.

At one point Trump spoke about the Isreali opposition leader saying that he was a good guy and that Netanyahu should concede that.

“Now you can be a little bit nicer, baby because you’re not at war any more baby.”

I guess they’re closer than anyone knew…

“I would say to baby, baby, it’s now time,” Trump continued. “This piece of land is very small. Think of what you’ve done it’s incredible *applause*.” …what?

Trump hailed everyone as saying that Israel is popular again and everyone loves Israel now.

Idk if anyone’s actually losing their minds over Trump saying this though, he’s said a lot of things. Maybe it was something else he said.

When asked by journalists on Air Force One if he would go to heaven because of this, Trump said, “I don’t think there’s anything [that’s] going to get me in heaven. Okay? I think I’m not maybe heaven-bound… I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make heaven, but I’ve made life a lot better for a lot of people.”

So whilst Trump achieves peace in Palestine, Trump has declared war on Chigaco, Portland, Washington and Bad Bunny.

Isreal has offered to suppply their now unused missile to Trump’s “war from within.”

For more on this story, read this one: Israel-Hezbollah Ceasefire Leaves Thousands Confused, ‘Which War Is Over?’

IRONICALLY, for a guy named MUSK, the richest man in the world smells really strongly.

You may have already seen this, as this story dates back to 2018, but apparently, the Tesla CEO has a really strong sense of smell. Like a dog.

Weird flex, but OK.

Yes, according to WIRED, the X-owner has perhaps the shittiest X-Men superpower, and anyone interviewing for the South African future trillionaire can’t wear perfume or cologne because of his sensitive nose.

Reportedly, during one factory inspection, he asked, “What’s that smell?” regarding a vat of chemicals creating a burning plastic smell. He then claimed the smell would kill people and kill him.

Don’t fart around him, I guess.

Maybe he’s like Daredevil, like, you know, when you lose one sense, all your other senses are heightened? So I guess Elon gained his super sense of smell when he lost his sense of humor.

Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t get the answer you wanted from this headline? You actually want to know what Elon Musk smells like?

Alright, you disgusting little gremlin.

Best I can find is this video of actor Kenan Thompson presumably referencing Elon’s SNL appearance, that Musk’s musk is in fact “sweaty. He was always like, huffing and puffing-ish. So like, outside-soiled-ness.”

Cool, great, I regret knowing that now.

Of course, if you want to find out for yourself first hand, there is a company that makes Elon Musk scented air fresheners, so there’s that…

It could be worse, though. Kenan’s comments thankfully dispel the rumor that Elon Musk actually smells like burnt hair.

Why the fuck would that be a rumor, I hear you ask? Well, that’s because a few years ago, Elon’s The Boring Company launched a novelty (I hope) perfume called “Burnt Hair.”

Musk called it “the finest fragrance on Earth,” and it’s currently sold out (somehow) but at the time it sold for $100.

Elon Musk Burnt Hair perfume — Here’s a picture of the bottle… I have no idea what’s going on on the left.

As The Boring Company website describes it, it’s “Just like leaning over a candle at the dinner table, but without all the hard work” and “Stand out in a crowd! Get noticed as you walk through the airport.”

Apparently, it smells more like burnt weed than burnt hair anyway, so that’s a good thing, I guess?

Obviously, it’s just a joke. The kind of joke that only a humorless billionaire can afford to make, along with selling Tesla satin shorts when the company was shorted and bringing a bathroom sink to the Twitter HQ when he bought it. Because, “let that sink in”… eh?

MAKE COMEDY LEGAL AGAIN!!!!

So there you go, I hope this improved your life marginally. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m off for an interview to become the America Party’s Secretary of Smells, caked from head to toe in Burnt Hair and wrapped with Elon’s Musk air fresheners like I’m a Christmas tree.

Wish me luck!

Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first part of the Trump ceasefire plan: the exchange of hostages, leading to global jubilation and mixed reactions from the financial sector. Come on guys, get on the hype, war’s over forever. WAR IS OVER FOREVER!!

OK, it is mostly positive, the S&P 500 and Nasdaq 100 are at record highs, along with gold, and, of course, the shekel and Tel Aviv markets.

But other places are a little more cautious, European stocks are lower, and oil prices have dropped but not much.

There’s still a long way to go, basically. This is just the first part of the agreement; the hostages will hopefully be exchanged in the coming days, hopefully Monday, then after that, talks can continue.

Seems like it might be a while before Trump gets his Nobel Prize.

BUT the Israeli government is due to vote on this like today and if they agree, then a ceasefire should go into place immediately. Very exciting.

Big questions still remain, like who will be in charge of Gaza and will it have a Trump golf course? Israel obviously want to dispose Hamas and but for some reason Hamas are unlikely to agree to that. Trump wants to have some kind of protectorate, which worked super well back in world war one so yeah, let’s just do that again.

Who knows how that’ll all shake down but at least, for the first time in two years, it does genuinely feel like progress.

Congrats to everyone on finally achieving the bare minimum, here’s hoping this will save lives.

For more on this story, read this one: Israel Attacks Sweden in Desperate ‘Bamboozle’ Strategy

I’M SICK OF IT!

Trump this, trump that, I can’t trump it anymore! I won’t trumpet this guy! I’m sick sick sick I tell you and I’m not going to take it anymore!!!

EVERY day I wake up and look at the news and see what I can write about and it’s always TRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMP.

CNN, every day, EVERY STORY is Trump-themed. Bloomberg, that’s business not politics BUT OHHHH NO, THERE HE IS.

Donald J. Trump. Donald Jay Trump. Donald Jefferson Trump. President Donald Trump. The President Donald Trump. Mr. President. Donald Trump. The Don. Trump.

Oh, what’s this? a nice story about a video game company getting sold? Great, that’s irrelevant, nothing to do with anything, there’s no way… NO WAIT THAT’S HIS SON IN LAW BUYING IT.

FUCK!

Trump

He’s involved in everything, every story is somehow connected to him. I get that he’s the most powerful, influential man in the world at the moment BUT THAT SHOULDN’T MEAN HE HAS TO INFLUENCE ME!!!

On TV: Trump. Social media: Trump. Read a book: Trump. When I look in the mirror: Me. But then I turn around: AH! Trump!

WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES EVEN IN A FLASH AS I BLINK IT’S HIM HE’S ALL I SEE.

He’s genuinely not a person anymore, he’s become a concept, like an energy field that just surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds everything together.

I went to the doctor recently because I wasn’t sleeping and you know what he diagnosed me with? TDS.

That’s TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. I didn’t even think that was a real disease!!! It has its own Wikipedia page!!!!!!

He said I should take a lie down and maybe quit my job but I said I couldn’t I have no qualifications and 14 cousins to feed.

So here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to just write around him. Any story that’s about him, I just won’t cover. Anything that mentions him tangentially I’ll just ignore, I’ll write him out of it. That’s fine, how hard can that be?

PLEASE I NEED HIM TO LEAVE MY DREAMS.

…

For more on this topic, click here: Donald Trump

Richest man, Elon Musk has denied any connection to the man connected with every rich man and former pedo, Jeffrey Epstein, claiming that he is unable to even spell his name.

Musk tweeted (x’d) out a version of the name in which the i and the e were the wrong way around, ie: ‘ie’ thus proving he had no connection to the guy.

Come on, “i before e except with a p-do”, didn’t you learn that in school?

Musk continued to explain that he never did nothing with that guy saying, “I don’t even like kids.”

The defence comes after documents were released in which Musk was offered an all-expenses-paid trip to kiddy-fiddle island. It’s unclear if he accepted this offer.

Something smells bad here, and I’m wondering if it’s from the guy whose name means smelly.

Musk has temporarily retired his go-to insult of accusing any critic of being a pedophile after previously calling Trump a nonce. Way back in June Elon said that Donald Trump “is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.”

But Musk has since rescinded his words, X’ing, “I regret some of my posts about President @realDonaldTrump last week. They went too far.” he has deleted the original Tweet-shit-‘X’, and given a formal explanation for the accusation.

“I mistyped,” explained Musk. “Obviously, I meant to say Ronald Prump is in the Epstein files. He’s a completely different person who has no relation to Donald Trump. It was an honest mistake.”

Reportedly, federal agents tracked down a Mr. Ronald Prump in Wausau, Wisconsin, and coordinated a full-scale SWAT operation on his property. In the raid, officers arrested the individual, seized over 4GB of personal computer data, and accidentally shot his dog.

Mr. Prump is currently detained and awaiting trial.

“It’s not every day that you get to catch a big fish like this,” explained an officer involved in the raid. “But this Prump fella’s the worst of the worst. Big time pedo. We got a tip off that goes all the way to the top, so you know it’s legit.”

Mr. Prump’s lawyer denies all exculpations: “The only Epstein my client knows is his Epstein EcoTank ET-4810 A4 Colour Multifunction Inkjet Printer, C11CK57401.”

For those of you living under a rock where it’s warm and quiet and you don’t have to hear about any of this, the Epstein files (AKA the (se)X-files, AKA the pedo-files) are a collection of documents relating to ex-sex-pest J. Epstein, potentially listing numerous high-profile individuals involved in his crimes.

The release of these files could potentially reveal irrefutably that Donald Trump was in cahoots with Epstein in a way that evidence like photographs, videos, flight logs, and public statements declaring their friendship never could.

For more on this story read this: Trump Sues New York Times $15 Billion For Copyright Infringement Over Epstein Drawing

Late-night talk show host and former sexpest, Jimmothy J. Kimmel has been jailed for killing popular political podcaster and former sexpest, Charles J. Kirk.

Kimmel previously made a comment about the political firestorm surrounding Kirk’s murder, saying that, “The MAGA Gang [are] desperately trying to characterise this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”

So, implying that Tyler Robinson (the alleged shooter) is a Trump supporter is pretty misleading and not a great idea, but it’s hardly a reason to cancel the show, which is exactly what happened. Feels like it’s just an excuse to silence another critic of our glorious leader.

Well, anyway, the steps have gone a step further and now Trump’s accusing Kimmel himself of being the real mastermind all along.

According to the legal case, Trump says that Kimmel’s comment, if you rearrange the letters, it constitutes a confession to the murder. Plus Kimmel, that kinda sounds like ‘kill-all’. Think about that.

Kimmel’s now been arrested and is awaiting trial.

Robinson, the actual suspect, has now been released and will be the new host of Jimmy Kimmel Live.

When reached for comment, Trump explained that this was in no way an attempt to silence his opposition, but was just a bit of fun, so stop asking.

Kimmel is now facing the death penalty for murder.

MAKE COMEDY LEGAL AGAIN!

For more comedy news, click here: GOLDEN GLOBES: United States Government Wins ‘Best Comedy Or Musical’

Woke ice cream manufacturer ‘Ben & Jerry’s’ will soon be dropping the iconic ‘Jerry’ part after woke co-founder Jerry Greenfield quit the company over some woke BS.

“It’s woke or broke,” quipped my dad in reaction to the news, and I thought that was pretty funny, so I said I’d write it into the article and give him a shout-out.

The company initially planned to rename the famed ice cream brand just ‘Ben’s’ but that was already taken by ‘Uncle Ben’s’, which rebranded a few years ago to just ‘Ben’s’ because the word ‘uncle’ is racist now.

Ben & Jerry’s? More Like Peanutbutter And Jelly

This all began when jerry and ben sold the ‘Sloppy BJ Cream Corp’ to Unilever in 2000 but insisted that they would be able to stay woke. (BJs have always been woke, they love the gays etc.)

BUT Unilever reneged on this promise in 2021 when B&J refused to sell in Israeli-occupied Palestine, prompting backlash from BJ-cream-hungry Israelis and Unilever said that was one woke too far.

BJ then sued Unilever last year for stopping them from posting pro-Palestine-abortion-climate-change-universal-healthcare-anti-trump online messages and then also Unilever fired a CEO for progressive comments. Allegedly. Please don’t fire me.

Magnum is being spun off from Unilever anyways so BJ asked last week if, whilst they’re spinning anyways they could just spin a little more and spin off a BJ too. But it’s too late BJ, you already sold your soul and you should have foreseen these exact circumstances happening 25 years later.

It’s unclear what Jerry will do next with his newfound free time but will potentially start his own rival ice cream business called, “Not Ben, Just Jerry’s” with no ice cream and just the cookie dough. AKA: a license to print money.

For more food/politics news, read this one: Coca-Cola To Change Recipe Back To Cocaine, Trump Takes Credit

Latest news

Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Top 10 Museum Heists: How Does The Louvre Robbery Compare?

Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time

Google Shmoogle

It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for ‘em

Related Articles

Max Profit • October 21, 2025

Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane

Ima Short • October 20, 2025

Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time

Max Profit • October 16, 2025

The US Army Just Bet Big On Nuclear Energy And Here’s Why

Latest news

Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Top 10 Museum Heists: How Does The Louvre Robbery Compare?

Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time

Pen Smith• October 22, 2025D

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Pen Smith• D

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Trending News

Latest news

Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Top 10 Museum Heists: How Does The Louvre Robbery Compare?

Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time

Genuinely no one seems to have noticed…

Related Articles

Ima Short • October 22, 2025

Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

Pen Smith • October 16, 2025

Trump Confirms China Trade War, Can He Still Win The Nobel Peace Prize?

Marge Incall • October 15, 2025

Trump Nearly Crushed This World Leader’s Hand When They Met The Other Day

Latest news

Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?

Top 10 Museum Heists: How Does The Louvre Robbery Compare?

Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time

Pen Smith• D

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Pen Smith• D

Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Trending News