2026 | Wall Street Memes

An anonymous trader just made an insane bet: $14 million that Netflix will lose its bid for Warner Brothers BUT still profit from the whole thing.

The trader (who will remain anonymous because I don’t know who they are) bought 55,000 call options with a $90 strike price that expire in May but also sold 55,000 call options at $105, offsetting the premium, totally $2.51 per contract and a $13.8 million outlay. …And if you know what any of that means, you’ve got more right to write this article than I do…

It’s a hefty bet, that’s all I know, and it seems crazy given that Warner Bros already accepted Netflix’s offer. But Paramount just recently boosted their offer to the point where Warner Bros is interested again (if the price is right, right?) so there’s a chance they might just win out this battle afterall.

And even with Paramount’s fresh and tasty bid, Netflix still had a massive stock surge of 6% and analysts predict that even with a loss on this bid, Netflix might just profit from this whole debacle either way.

So who exactly made this bid that views Netflix so favorably? Well, reportedly it rhymes with Sned Snarandos, but we’ll likely never know.

Whether this mystery trader gets their winnings or not is still very much up in the air. But who knows, there is still such a long way to go. Netflix might yet raise their offer. The government might actually do its job for once and shut down both acquisitions (unlikely). But the point is it’s all still on the table and we’ll just have to wait and see.

I really don’t get what Warner Bros is playing at. They’ve just come out and said that Paramount’s latest $31-a-share could lead to a better deal than what they’ve agreed with Netflix. But… they’ve already agreed to the Netflix deal? Surely everything else is off the table? What does an agreement mean if not that?

DOES A MAN’S WORD MEAN NOTHING ANY MORE??

The only way this makes sense to me is if there’s some internal conflict at WB. Like, maybe one Warner Brother likes Paramount but the other brother wants to go to Netflix. That’s the only way this works, right?

Tbf WBD haven’t thrown out Netflix’s offer completely, only that Paramount’s new bid reaches the threshold for further talks.

But previously WBDD spoke out against Paramount’s offer on the grounds that they didn’t have the funding, wouldn’t merge in the way they wanted and was just an all round shittier company.

It seems everyone has a price, however and WBDDD happily reopened talks with shitty Paramount, discussing the new offer right up until midnight on the dot when they were legally forced to hang up the phone.

Wild stuff.

So basically, like always, there’s still a lot of irons to be kinked out and we won’t know any more actual info until the dust settles a bit more.

But whatever happens, you just know that they’ll make a Netflix series about this whole saga.

President Donald F. Trump just broke an all time record for longest State Of Union address and lowest approval ratings but still put on a brave face and said everything is alright.

Ignoring rising costs for everything, soaring house prices, unrest in Minnesota, Trump rambled on about how he’s doing great and everything’s fine and there’s nothing to worry about so be quiet please.

Wall Street reacted a little, I guess, but this is just a speech, it’s not any substantive change so there wasn’t much to react to I suppose. Traders are much more focused on Nvidia’s upcoming earnings report which matters a lot more really.

In order to pad out the run time, Trump paraded out Olympic medal winners, Charlie Kirk’s wife and JD Vance was there for some reason??

But perhaps the highlight of the event was when every single member of the republican party was removed after disrupting Trump’s speech by whooping and chanting “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” repeatedly.

House Speaker Mike Johnson banged his gavel and instructed the Republicans to “Uphold and maintain decorum in the House and to cease and further disruptions” multiple times. However, the representatives were simply too excited by Trump’s words and had to be forcibly removed from the chamber by the sergeant at arms.

The chanting and cheers continued as the republican representatives resisted their ejection in what many are now calling “reverse January 6th”.

“I don’t know why we were kicked out, sure they were disruptions, but they were positive disruptions,” explained Senator Ted Cruz outside the Capitol. “Yes, I was chanting at the top of my lungs but how could you not? It’s not everyday you get to meet your second favorite president.”

When Trump was finally able to continue highlighting his accomplishments, Rep. Johnson noted that Democrats were also disruptive by engaging in subtle and not so subtle protests against the president. Some wore badges saying, “RELEASE THE FILES” and “I LIKE ROCKS” (but that last one might have been about something else).

The House Speaker then called for all these members to be ejected from the chamber as well and finally Rep. Johnson ejected himself for banging his gavel too loudly. This left the building entirely empty but for Trump.

Undeterred, the president continued his speech to an empty room. It is unclear what was said as no one was their to witness it. Republicans are now stumped as to what to do policy-wise as the popular riddle asks, “If a Trump makes a speech in an empty congress hall and no one is there to hear it, do his tariffs still apply?”

Rep. Al Green’s whereabouts remain unknown although he is now presumed dead.

Stick with Wall Street Meams Dot Com for more political discourse that’s up to the minute (but obviously not this exact minute, or the next one, just, I meant whatever minute I’m writing about, leave me alone.).

There are two options basically: things could go up or, get this, things could go down.

Yes, the world’s most valuable company (we’re talking $4 trillion-valuable) is due to reveal its quarterly earnings at the close of play on Wednesday, and it’s due to have wide-ranging implications for Wall Street, the tech industry and you, yes, YOU.

AI stocks have been in a weird place recently, with a bunch on the slump but maybe because they’ve not been AI-ing enough? Nvidia’s earnings report could restore faith in the industry as a whole. No pressure, then.

So much is riding on tomorrow that the opposite could happen and if Nvidia produces anything less that an insanely stellar report card, AI, tech and all other stocks in general might get pulled down a peg or two.

Earnings Shmernings

Options pricing says that the Nvidia could go as much as 6% either way. So, the point is, no one knows. Be ready for everything. Like a boy scout.

Given that Nvidia accounts for roughly 8% of the S&P 500’s entire value, the waves from this boulder drop will be huge whatever happens.

So, once again, no one really knows anything. And in about 20-something hours, this entire article will be out of date and completely useless. Aren’t we glad we both spent our valuable time on this now?

Get in, loser, we’re going house shopping.

IT’S A BUYERS MARKET, BOYS! Reportedly, there are 44% more home sellers than buyers in America. That translates to about 600,314 more houses for sale than people actually want to buy them. That’s up 30% from last year and the second largest gap since 2013 (the most was 45% in December 2025) but it’s still 1000% unlikely that you’ll own a house any time soon.

Does this mean we’re heading for a crash? Well, not necessarily. Technically it’s been a buyers markets since May 2024 and it’s only a buyer’s market for those even able to buy. It’s almost the opposite of what we saw in the 2008 housing crisis when everyone was buying and houses became insanely undervalued.

So if there’s a housing crisis, with people desperate for homes, why is no one buying? Well, it’s because house prices are just too damn high. The current situation is its own special kind of dire with house prices skyrocketing despite a growing housing shortage. House prices have only been going up, pricing out those who actually want to buy.

Home A Loan

That’s the state we’re in right now, were there’s buyers but none of them can afford the insane prices that the sellers are asking for. This massive discrepancy will only even out when house prices start to fall.

We might see a shift to cheaper houses because of this, but it’ll be gradual. I mean, any change has already has been glacial, if at all.

So don’t expect a dramatic The Big Short style crash any time soon. And instead of a fast-paced, all-star movie adaptation, we’re probably looking at an incredibly boring fourteen-part documentary.

Don’t hold your breath.

It’s AI, but not in the way that you think…

As you probably know, the stock market’s looking a little battered right now, losing $800 billion dollars of hypothetical money.

There are a number of reasons for the dip but a big one is just the general uncertainty in the market right now. And, in turn, a big reason for that is the looming spectre of tariffs (yes, again). After SCOTUS killed POTUS’s use of emergency powers to make sweeping increases to import taxes.

But there’s something else that’s got peeps spooked and curiously it’s not the AI bubble, but it also is, and, in fact, it kind of isn’t, but also is.

It seems to me that Wall Street is trying not to make the AI bubble a self-fulfilling prophecy because what’s happened is that investors have pulled funds from companies that either aren’t implementing AI or AI companies that are seen as failing.

A sort of AI-cull if you will.

Maybe the theory is that by pruning the rose bush it’s going to bloom more come summer. But surely what’s going to happen is everyone’s incentivised to double down on AI and the bubble becomes more likely instead?

Rather than the purely speculative stock market wagging the dog, what’s really needed is for these AI companies to actually start making money. Like, I know everyone’s hyped about OpenAI’s IPO of SpaceX merging with xAI and doing the same, but this is all conjecture. This is hot air blowing up the balloon, what we need is substance an actual (sustainably) profitable use case for this technology or the thing will pop.

But we’ll see. We’ve got Nvidia’s quarterly earnings coming up which will be a litmus test for the rest of the sector. And then of course we have the secret bi-annual summit of malignant super-sentiences. Oh, you didn’t know about that? Well, of course not, it’s a secret. Yeah, that’s who’s really running things…

Since its peak of $126,000, Bitcoin has fallen 50% (half) due to numerous factors but mainly because the whole world is a little fucked right now.

Once again for the people in the back row, Bitcoin and other cryptos are a highly volatile asset meaning that people are less likely to invest during ties of uncertainty. Gold is the opposite and the two thus become rule-of-thumb barometers for how people think the economy is going.

And who exactly are those ‘people’ you may ask? Well often it’s the money people looking to make more money. In this case it’s hedge fund managers, who initially poured in a lot of cash in Bitcoin and boosted the crypto to its ATH, but are now pulling out (heheh).

I mean, that’s pretty much the news. It’s not really news is it? BREAKING: Asset Goes Up In Value. Like, yeah, and it’ll probably go down in a bit too. That’s the problem with reactive finance news, the news alone isn’t very insightful, like the pure, ‘this thing just went up/down’ isn’t game changing.

I guess it’s the analysis behind it that makes the story worth reading and I’m sorry I can’t offer that but what did you really expect from Wall Street Memes Dot Com? If you thought you were getting something valuable here, that’s on you.

Heck, you realise this is just a way of keeping content churning out for what is literally just an advert for an online casino? And we only exist because we’re trying to make money too. We don’t really care about any of this or making your life better.

In fact, we’re probably making your life worse but we’re making money and so long as we do we will continue to exist.

And I’ll keep getting paid to write this garbage…

Because apparently, you people can’t enjoy a real conspiracy theory, you have to make up a fake one too.

Yeah, this is another hoax that rears its head every few months and (because we’ve all injected pure, undiluted conspiracy theory into our veins what with the Epstein files) bullshit has made it into the water supply.

The culprit for reviving this particular ruse is literally just one tweet. But it does have half a million views so I guess I need to cover it…

The tweet reads, “CRAZY: [american flag emoji for some reason] According to the Epstein emails, the Gold at Fort Knox is completely missing! [panicky emoji just in case you didn’t know how to feel]”

The guilty party. And I’m not talking about Epstein.

There are zero links, sources, explanations, or even an image of the emails that point to this ‘fact’. So it’s clearly just someone happy to make up BS for ‘engagement’. And, judging by the use of emojis, this was probably pitched by an AI off the prompt, ‘gimme some Epstein clickbait plz’.

It’s an old hoax, designed to sow distrust in traditional financial institutions and probably sell you cryptocurrencies or something.

Opportunity Knox

Professional shit-eater Elon Musk has been known to parrot the ‘theory’ because he also believes everyone’s stuck inside a computer game so will honestly believe anything.

Oh and in case you were wondering, yes, there is gold in Fort Knox.

But it’s baffling isn’t it, that we have a bonafide evil ring of rich elites tarricking children and you greedy idiots still want to believe the nonsense? You still need fairytales of government malfeasance when the truth is well known and far more shocking?

Please. Can everyone please just grow up?

We’ve had Trump’s bonus tax for consumers (or as he likes to call them ‘tariffs’) for nearly a year now and, surprise, surprise, the economic policy of ‘pissing off your trade partners’ hasn’t heralded the economic paradise that Mr. President claimed it would be.

Even after the Supreme Court shot down Trump’s use of Emperor-Palpatine-Style ‘emergency powers’ to impose tariffs, he’s doubling down and finding new loopholes to increase the tax to a blanket 10% for everyone. No, wait, sorry, this just in, 15%. He changed his mind apparently.

It’s a far cry from the giddy heights of 145% taxes on Chinese imports. Plus, Trump’s using Section 122 which is only temporary and will need congressional approval after 150 days. Oh, how the mighty have McFallen.

What’s really hilarious is that to some extent, the tariffs were beneficial. At the time, the entire world bent over backwards to capitulate with Trump’s terroristic demands, securing some favorable deals for Trump. Now those world leaders must feel a little stupid knowing that Trump’s gun to their head was seemingly illegal and apparently could have been removed at any time.

Well, now it seems they’re finally standing up for themselves, taking the inch that the Supreme Court’s granted. The EU have already said that they’re not going to pay more and that “a deal is a deal.”

“The current situation is not conducive to delivering ‘fair, balanced, and mutually beneficial’ transatlantic trade and investment, as agreed ‌to by both sides.”

Potentially even the illegal tariffs might have to be refunded and repaid, which would be crazy. Jesus Christ, what a mess…

So we’ll just have to wait and see what happens of course and there is still a lot more flailing to be done, but right now Trump’s on the back foot and the world can take a little breather.

Idk, can they compete with China? You’re asking the wrong guy.

NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang is hyping up his company’s upcoming appearance at GTC next month saying that this chip is so amazing, no one’s ever seen it before, etc. etc. I mean, it’s just hype, right? There’s not really a story here? ‘BREAKING NEWS: CEO says own company is good’… like, OK.

But what I do find interesting is how far this story spread without any substance to it.

And maybe something’s been lost in translation here, but it took a little digging to actually find this quote and when I did, it was a different quote. And I know this isn’t the biggest story, like, it doesn’t really matter what he said, but I just found it interesting that this quote has been parroted across ex-Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and a bunch of actual publications without any sources listed.

I finally found the original interview and it’s in Korean, which I don’t speak, but the auto translate says that he said he’ll unveil, “A chip that will surprise the world will be unveiled at GTC next month.”

And OK, maybe the Korean words for these phrases can be interpreted a bunch of different ways, but I feel like “a chip that will surprise the world” is different from a chip that “the world has never seen before.” Idk who’s translating this or whatever but I’m just trying to say it’s crazy that you can have this quote spread like wildfire, without any sources and potentially it might be slightly wrong?

Wait, isn’t this an article about Nvidia and chips and stuff?

Sure, again, thankfully this is a pretty unimportant story, but imagine what else you’re seeing that could also be misquoted, misrepresented, etc. etc. Heck, no judgement, but you did click on this news article from Wall Street Memes Dot Com, I think you might just be the kind of person to eat this shit up.

We all know that the internet is still a wild west, we all know it can’t be trusted, but we do still use it every single day, and I’m just looking out for you friend. Be careful out there. Who knows what lies you might be facing. Be careful who you listen to. Be wary of who you trust.

Anyway, WHY DON’T YOU STOP BY OUR ONLINE CASINO!!

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