January, 2026 | Wall Street Memes

Can’t afford McDonald’s? He’s in the big leagues now.

The world’s most popular YouTuber (no, not Steve1989MREInfo), Mr ‘Jimmy’ Beast, might be worth $2.6 billion but technically he’s broke and honestly, it’s not surprising.

Because we all know by now that this is how the ultra wealthy operate. The world’s richest man, Elon Musk is famously cash poor, securing massive bank loans by using his stock options as collateral, getting another loan when the first runs out and just all round running a ponzi scheme.

Well, now MrBeast can say he’s made it because he’s entering the same boat. In an interview with the Wall Street Journal to promote his new TV show (remember, everthing is an advert) Jimmy had this to say, “I’m borrowing money. That’s how little money I have. Technically, everyone watching this video has more money than me in their bank account if you subtract the equity value of my company, which doesn’t buy me McDonald’s in the morning.”

MrBeast? More like mr yeast, amiright?

He’s covered this a few times in the press, saying that he reinvests all the money he makes into his videos. Posting on X, Donaldson said, “I personally have very little money because I reinvest everything (I think this year we’ll spend around a quarter of a billion on content). Ironically I’m actually borrowing $ from my mom to pay for my upcoming wedding but sure, on paper the businesses I own are worth a lot.”

The post was in response to someone claiming that he didn’t inherit his wealth but guys, he’s literally called ‘Donaldson’, you think he didn’t get even a little bit of money from daddy Trump?

But there you have it. Maybe you, dear reader, and Mr Beasty boy have more in common than you think. Maybe you’re not such a failure after all. Maybe the next time your mom asks you to pay her back for the one time she paid for your bail after you accidentally committed an arson, you can just say that actually, MrBeast wouldn’t be able to pay you back either so I’m not a useless bum actually.

For more MrBeast news, try this on for size: MrBeast Starts Funding Round, Must Not Leave Circle For $5 Billion

Surprise surporuise

Ronald McPresident Trump has announced his plan to cap credit card interest rates and heads of America’s top banks have spoken out against the plan. But like, yeah, of course they have, what, is this seriously news?

“Senior executives for the nation’s four largest banks — JPMorgan Chase (JPM), Citigroup (C), Bank of America (BAC), and Wells Fargo (WFC) — all said they agree that affordability is an issue, but that limiting credit card interest rates isn’t the right approach to solve it.”

During a call with reporters, Citigroup’s CFO Mark Mason said that “An interest rate cap is not something that we would or could support, frankly [and would] likely result in a significant slowdown in the economy. Affordability is clearly an important issue and one that we look forward to collaborating with the administration on.”

But like, why would it slow down the economy?

Look, I’m a writer for wall street memes dot com, I don’t know dick about economics but if I had to guess I’d say a cap in how much the banks can earn off poor people’s debt is a good thing, no?

It’s OK, here’s Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan to explain, “If you bring the caps down, you’re going to get restricted credit, meaning less people will get credit cards, and the balance available to them on those credit cards will also be restricted. And so you have to balance that against what you’re trying to achieve on affordability.”

Again, err, I’m still not seeing how that’s a bad thing? That sounds bad for the banks an no one else. Am I missing something here? Like, why would that restrict the credit? Don’t you set the credit rates? I don’t understand. Someone explain this to me.

Is this all because all your banks have dipped like 7% on the stock market after this announcement, is that it? Because it feels like that might be connected…

Let’s see how this story plays out and whether Trump will even follow through on this plan. Until then check out more of this insightful coverage for all you financial news.

Jim “Reverse” Cramer just gave us another pearl of wisdom saying that Warner Bros. Discovery’s CEO is “delivering phenomenally for its shareholders.” Netflix saw this news and instantly bailed on their proposed merger citing Cramer as a “curse” and that he has “ruined everything.”

Here’s everything “ramblin’ Jim” had to say on the matter, “So MSCI, which is the keeper of these groupings, combine a bunch of telecom, media, and entertainment companies, as well as some other companies, well, that we think of as tech companies, I know it’s strange because it’s Alphabet and Meta Platforms, these are really big companies into the hodgepodge sector now known as communication services. Probably confusing to you. It’s always confused me. It’s very artificial. Alright, that hodgepodge did great in 2025, led by Warner Brothers Discovery, which is finishing up nearly 173% after late-year bidding work that ended with the company announcing its sale to Netflix, although there’s still a possibility that it might go to this Paramount. Congratulations to Warner’s David Zaslav for delivering phenomenally for its shareholders. I gotta tell you, what a performance this thing was at eight bucks when he told me, ‘Listen, this thing’s worth 30.’ And boom, guess what? Probably get 30.”

Yes, I agree, you are confused.

But in actual news, Netflix is planning on amending their previous offer to make it an all-cash buyout, hoping that will push them ahead of Paramount in the final stages of the deal.

In Paramount’s camp, they’ve resorted to dirty tactics, filing a lawsuit that would compel WBD to disclose how it values the two bids to its shareholders. Additionally the company plans to nominate pro-Paramount directors to WBD’s board of directors in an attempt to get them to flinch.

I mean, I think it’s clear who’s on the back foot here.

So what does this all have to do with movies then, huh? Well, nothing. We might as well be trading potatoes for all it matters. Netflix, Warner Bros and Paramount all don’t really care about anything here but money. They might talk about values and brand loyalty and garbage but these are all soulless business dealings and the art that this all should be about is going to get caught in the crossfire.

He hasn’t …yet.

The President, I’m going to say that again, the President just called the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Jerome Powell, incompetent, crooked and a jerk.

*cough* Maduro *cough* Epstein *cough-cough*.

During a regular ol’ speech about the economy, Trump got bored of reading off the teleprompter (watch the clip, you can see it in his eyes) and went off script saying, “That jerk will be gone soon.”

In another instance he said, “He’s billions of dollars over budget so he either is incompetent or he’s crooked… I don’t know what he is. But he does a – certainly he doesn’t do a very good job.”

The latest blow comes as everyone’s saying very clearly that this whole spat is a bad idea.

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon spoke out saying, “Everyone we know believes in Fed independence. Anything that chips away at that is probably not a great idea. And in my view, it will have the reverse consequences, it will raise inflation expectations and probably increase rates over time.”

But then Trump clapped back to this clap back, said, “I think it’s fine what I’m doing.” Of course you do. He continued: Powell is “a bad Fed person. He’s done a bad job. We should have lower rates. Jamie Dimon probably wants higher rates. Maybe he makes more money that way.”

Powell-erful words there

And it’s not just JPMorgan Chase CEOs who are siding against Trump, a number of Trump’s own republicans have turned on him over this issue.

Senate Banking Committee member John Kennedy, R-La., said, “If you wanted to design a system to guarantee that interest rates would go up and not down, the best way to do that would be to have the Federal Reserve and the executive branch of the United States get in a pissing contest. We need this like we need a hole in the head.”

But the person we all really want to hear from is J. Powell himself, who, other than a video response a couple days ago has remained silence. Come on, Jay, he’s dragging you through the mud, you gonna take that? You gonna let him talk to you like that? Get nasty. Gloves are off baby, let’s see you call him some names.

Oh, sure, just because he can afford to do that…

Last week, the richest man in the world took a break from his busy schedule to hop on a podcast and tell us all what we’re doing wrong with our finances.

“Don’t worry about squirreling money away for retirement in 10 or 20 years. It won’t matter,” Musky Man explained.

And why won’t it matter? Because the world will have been destroyed by WW3 fought over Greenland? Because all the microplastics in our blood will coagulate into megaplastics? No, no, why would you assume it’s a bad thing? No, this is a GOOD reason!

You see, you don’t need to save for retirement because AI will create a post-scarcity economy.

By 2030, AI will surpass “the intelligence of all humans combined,” Musk explained. “Anything short of shaping atoms, AI can do probably half or more of those jobs right now.” And our embracing of that power will lead to economic increases that will surpass “what people possibly could think of as abundance.”

Sure.

How many ‘r’s are there in a ‘post-scarcity AI economy’?

Bear in mind that this is the man who is hard pivoting his Tesla company to make robots over EVs, the man who is steering Twitter (of all things) into a child-pornography-generating-robot… the point is he has a vested interest in promoting these claims.

What, you think he’s on a podcast just for fun? No, this is an advert. He says something outrageous, gets everyone talking and it drives up interest and stock prices.

Like, did you seriously think we were going to colonize Mars within Musk’s wild timeframe? No, it was all just the same tactic to advertise his satellite-launching company.

Trump uses exactly the same method and it works.

Let’s say you want to achieve a goal but that goal has a difficulty rating of an eight out of ten. Well, what you do is you go round everywhere saying that you’re going to do the crazy version of the thing you actually want. You say you’re going to do something that’s difficulty rating a thousand. Now suddenly, that eight out of ten doesn’t look so hard, now does it?

And hey, because you were talking crazy and everyone (like me) has to write about it, well, there’s now a lot of talk around that topic so yeah, I think I will invest my money/vote for this hot button issue.

Yeah. Welcome back to the carnival and once again, we all just got played.

Off with his head!

Jerome “Big Ballz” Powell has clapped back against Trump’s latest attack on the Federal Reserve Chair.

In his latest TikTok, Powell explained that “the threat of criminal charges is a consequence of the Federal Reserve setting interest rates based on our best assessment of what will serve the public, rather than following the preferences of the president.”

Jay Powell South Park Meme — Powell photographed in the street today.

And he’s right, this has nothing to do with the Fed renovations that Powell is supposedly subpoenaed for and everyone pretty much knows it. Trump’s been outspoken about his dislike of Powell from the beginning. (idk what tho)

So, here’s a question, how do you think the interest rates should be measured? Should it be decided by taking the data about the economy and then setting the rates accordingly? Or should it be decided by whether or not the chairman spent too much money doing up a building?

Sorry, did I say federal building renovations? I meant to say blatant political coercion.

Jerome Powell? More like Jerome POWell

Because even if you’re a Trump fan, the idea that Trump, or any future president, should have the power to set the interest rates just isn’t very helpful. These decisions need to be made independently, need to be objective and scrutable by their own metric. If these rates are decided based on a subjective whim then they hold no water and are basically useless.

Look, I’ve got zero economics knowledge and even I can tell you that Trump is just undermining his own system here. But don’t take my ill-informed word for it, here’s a statement signed by former Fed Chairs Janet Yellen, Ben Bernanke, and Alan Greenspan, and four other past Treasury secretaries.

“This is how monetary policy is made in emerging markets with weak institutions, with highly negative consequences for inflation and the functioning of their economies more broadly,” the statement reads. “It has no place in the United States whose greatest strength is the rule of law, which is at the foundation of our economic success.”

When the President can set interest rates, he’ll set them in a way that makes him look good and garners more power. The rates will therefore not be an accurate representation of what the economy’s doing and be basically useless, undermining the actual value of our currency and American goods.

That seems obvious right? So why is Trump trying to do it? Well, because in the short term this makes him look good and he thinks it’s a good idea and it’s all about control, isn’t it? Why shouldn’t he be able to decide the interest rates? He can just pluck out the leader of Venezuela, ignore the will of the people, kill a man by guillotine, he can do whatever he wants.

And he wants Powell gone.

So what happens next?

Well, both sides will double down, the show trial will go ahead, but it won’t do much until Powell steps down in May and Trump replaces him with someone more amenable to his whims and our economy suffers as a result.

Just another drip on the slow erosion of this country’s ever-weakening institutions.

But that’s just my guess. What do you think? Let us know in the comments section that we don’t have below!

You need enough followers. Like Jesus.

I don’t care any more, I have no shame, what, you thought I had shame? No, I’m doing it, I’m sharing my feet pics.

You think I’ve got ugly feet? Bitch, it doesn’t matter, people love ugly feet. I need that Visa, my Honduran travel visa expired 18 months ago and I’ve been working at an organic armadillo ranch on the sly this whole time. They pay me in cash and armadillo teeth and don’t ask questions but I think they’re starting to get suspicious so I need to bounce real soon.

Look, this visa was designed for painters and musicians and interesting people, but you know what else is art? Big boobies. Yeah, I said it, cancel me.

Turns out the immigration office switched to a more algorithmic adjudication system which made it much easier to game with big numbers like follower count and subscription earnings.

These are O-1B visas and they have blown up 50% in the last decade, partially because it’s a bit easier to get in that way.

I want to be in Ame-ri-ca.

But here’s the thing no one’s talking about: we NEED onlyfans stars, we need them here and we need them now.

They are the lifeblood of this economy. Hell, if anyone understands the American Dream it’s a scrappy young Turkish woman just trying to make a living the only way she knows how and that’s selling electric fans on the internet.

They keep you cool, increase airflow, I really don’t know what’s not to like. Why is everyone complaining here? I say let them in!

I for one am a fan.

Jerome Powell just got supeenered, wait, suibpoened, no… subpoenaed? …that doesn’t look right, what is that, Greek? What’s it in English? Anyway, Powell just got asked to testify to the DoJ about the Fed renovations and really, we’re still on this? Ugh.

And before I go off on one, yes, you will believe his response, it’s actually very reasonable.

Powell said, “This is about whether the Fed will be able to continue to set interest rates based on evidence and economic conditions, or whether instead monetary policy will be directed by political pressure or intimidation”

“I have deep respect for the rule of law and for accountability in our democracy,” he continued. “No one, certainly not the chair of the Federal Reserve is above the law, but this unprecedented action should be seen in the broader context of the administration’s threats and ongoing pressure.”

Like everything Trump does, this is so OBVIOUS and brazen. This is not about the Fed building renovations, we’ve been through this, let’s move on, please. No, this is another attack on the Fed for being independent and not bowing to Trump’s pressure.

The whole point is that the Fed is independent of the executive branch, if it’s not and the President can set interest rates then it has literally no purpose and we take one step closer to autocracy.

Yes, Trump can now invade a country, overthrow its leader and declare himself king but that doesn’t mean he can do it on home soil too. Powell isn’t some despot hoarding oil, he’s just some guy…

The dollar has obviously dipped because of this news. Surprise, surprise, attacking your own financial institutions is bad for your economy…

I know that sounds like a threat from a supervillain, but it’s true…

For the first time in forever, the US will have a declining population rate. And that’s good news, right? Overpopulation is a bad thing because there are not enough houses, economy something, something, etc?

WRONG.

Population growth is ESSENTIAL to economic growth. If too many people are dying and we’re not having enough babies THE ECONOMY WILL SHRINK AND THAT’S BAD.

If we want population growth we’re going to have to rely on disgusting things like immigration and cloning and in vitro fertilization. Ew.

These new numbers come from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) who previously said it would take another decade to get to this point. I THOUGHT I STILL HAD TIME!!!

Economy? More like eCONomy

This will fundamentally change the very fabric of American society. As it has done in Italy, Japan and the UK, an aging population can lead to a rise in dependency, an end of life care crisis, a decline in military strength, a decline in innovation, deflation, unemployment, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, COVID again, and death.

So yeah, not good.

Maybe Donald ‘The President’ Trump will foresee this issue and incentivise immigration, people to start families and for everyone to die a bit less.

The way I see it, that’s the only solution: immortality.

I for one am putting all my money on Bryan Johnson to save us all.

That and cloning. Yeah, cloning would be cool.

Err… No.

Walmart just launched a new crypto app called OnePay, allowing customers to trade Ether, Bitcoin and even buy 14 green pleather couches with crypto.

But the real question, the question that everyone’s asking, the one answer everyone’s waiting for, the very thing that people want to know is can you buy assault rifles with fartcoin?

It’s a great question, especially considering I own a LOT of fartcoins and I have always wanted to shoot up a school and this way, perhaps my two greatest passions could come together in sweet harmony.

Walmart? More like walfart…

Currently it looks like OnePay only handles BTC/ETH trading so it looks like I’ll have to spend my farts elsewhere.

But maybe someday that will change as Walmart is positioning the app to be an everything app, combing a loyalty card with a crypto trading platform and it’ll even call you ‘Denny Big Dick’ if you change your name in the settings.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to launder all my ill gotten gains EXCLUSIVELY through Walmart.

For more Walmart news, read this: Walmart Just Reported Record Earnings And Here’s Why

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Can’t afford McDonald’s? He’s in the big leagues now.

MrBeast? More like mr yeast, amiright?

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