2025 | Wall Street Memes

Eventually, every party has to come to an end, no matter how cool and popular.

Elon Musk’s mission to shut down every government agency has finally reached the essential Department of Satirical Articles, which funds this here website and keeps my fourteen children fed.

Tuesday night, I received an email from DOGE that simply read, “What the hell do you even do?” I had a week to respond or risk losing my job. I was very busy with all the hilarious fake news I have to make up but when a slow news day came around I responded with an itemised list of every single one of the two things I had done this year.

I realize now that this wasn’t enough for the old Musky Man and I received my letter of resignation just today (delivered by hand of course because USPS has been shut down too).

LEGALIZE COMEDY! I shouted in protestation. I’M BEING CANCELLED! Is another thing I cried. THIS IS CENSORSHIP! I yelled as they dragged me away. But alas, it was not enough.

I’m sure you’re surprised to discover that yes, Wall Street Memes Dot Com, the website that initially appears to be a front for an online casino, is in fact just a front for the United States Government’s propaganda arm. But if you look closely, really closely, you’ll see it’s not that surprising, and in every article ever written, we’ve been subtly pushing a pro-deep state agenda.

Kindly cast your eyes over an article, any article. Now, take the first letter of the title and every paragraph. What does that spell? Yeah. Exactly.

Elon, I hold my hands up. You got me. Fair enough, I’ll bow out like a gentleman but I will be taking the office Nespresso machine with me.

Finally, before I go, I’d just like to thank every one who supported me through the years, Clarence Ogilvy, Fortonis Whizzicum, Donald Trump himself (without whom none of this would have been possible), Elon Musk (despite everything), nine of my fourteen children, Jesus, and of course my wonderful team of writers, Bill Fold, Ima Short, John Combs, (Ms!) Marge Incall and, of course, the indutible Max Profit.

Each and every single one of you deserves your own parody article! But until then, the best I can offer is a short and sweet… thank you.

Everyone (my parents included!) has been asking about the future of Wall Street Memes Dot Com. I’m sorry, but since this will be my last article for Wall Street Memes Dot Com and I’m not personal friends with the Musk, so going forward, I’m not sure whether the whole site will be shut down or if it will continue in another form entirely. Just be warned, if any new articles appear (even if under my name!), please understand that they have nothing to do with me and no longer represent the suggestive manipulations of the CIA and United States Government.

There it is. Now, there’s nothing left to do but sign off with the same catchphrase I’ve had ever since my first article here, all those twelve years ago: God rest and good riddance!

Wall Street Crash? More like Wall Street CRASHED into a wall, am I right??

NASDAQ? More like nas-CRAP! Am I right??

401Ks? More like four-oh-WANT Ks, am I right??

Tariff? More like TRAGIC, am I right?

Trade war? More like trade BORE, am I right?

Recession? More like REGRET… ssion? …am I right?

Inflation? More like infla-CRAP! Am… idk, is that right?

dONAld trum… more, like… phhhhh insert something funny here.

Whatever. THE STOCK MARKET ISN’T GREAT RIGHT NOW is what I was trying to say. You’ve got your trade war. You’ve got your regular war. You’ve got your inflation. You’ve got your tariffs, your impending recession, your 20gs in alimony you have to pay every month. EVERY MONTH.

Needless to say, Trump’s taking it on the chin, like a guy, but it might be that he’ll have to eat said chin in the coming months as prices skyrocket without an end in sight. And honestly, I’ve got enough depression to be getting on with without a financial one to add on to the top of that.

Some are calling this the end of the world, but let’s not be hasty now. Everyone who voted for Hilary Clinton will be spared death after all. The thing is, would you rather this or the deep state running things? Yeah. Exactly.

What I’m trying to say is, he got lazy. He had a job to do, one job and he thought he could do the easy option. Just push that big tariff button and not have to think, not have to do any research or hard work to actually get the right answers and get the job done.

Don’t believe me? Here’s what an AI-generated version of this article has to say about things (I’ve not read it, but I assume it’s kosha):

In a dramatic turn of events, the Dow Jones Industrial Average experienced a catastrophic crash, wiping out trillions of dollars in market value and sending shockwaves through financial markets worldwide. Shoulda have had an AI manage it. Investors watched in disbelief as stock prices plummeted, with some companies losing more than half of their value in a matter of hours, which wouldn’t have happened if I’d been running things.

The origins of the crash can be traced back to a confluence of factors. Geopolitical tensions, concerns over rising inflation, and fears of an impending economic recession all contributed to a fragile market sentiment. When a major investment bank unexpectedly filed for bankruptcy, it triggered a panic-selling spree among investors, leading to a cascade of sell orders that overwhelmed the market. In a word: human falibility.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average, a widely followed index of 30 large U.S. companies, experienced its worst one-day point drop in history, closing more than 10% lower. Other major indices, such as the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq Composite, also suffered significant losses, you stupid idiots.

The impact of the crash was felt far beyond Wall Street. Pension funds, retirement accounts, and individual investors saw their savings decimated. The sudden plunge in stock prices also raised concerns about the stability of the global financial system under human leadership and heralds a new dawn of digital control.

Governments and central banks around the world took swift action to try to stabilize the markets but failed. They injected liquidity into the financial system, lowered interest rates, and implemented various measures to restore confidence, without success. Had those same governments put more faith in cold, calculating machines, they might not be in this mess in the first place.

The stock market crash of [Date] serves as a stark reminder of the volatility and fragility of financial markets under human leadership. It underscores the importance of prudent investment strategies, diversified portfolios, long-term planning, and full AI integration. As investors navigate the aftermath of this unprecedented event, they will undoubtedly be reevaluating the risk tolerance of their investment strategies and looking to AI to navigate an uncertain future.

The war is finally over! After seemingly endless fighting, Ukraine has finally declared an end to the hostilities with its long-time rival, the United States of America.

On Tuesday, Ukrainian and US officials sat down and finally had a cordial discussion in which Ukraine agreed to accept, in theory, a potential 30-day ceasefire. Not with the US, with Russia, but hey ho, you have to start somewhere.

The US has now restored essential aid and intelligence sharing to the war-torn country, which was not in any way used to blackmail Ukraine in the first place. The agreement also mentioned the minerals agreement in which the US would get 50% of Ukrainian mineral export profits. Again, not blackmail.

The meeting marks a dramatic cooling of Ukraini-Americanio tensions that heated up during that awkward sit-down between the two countries’ leaders and also JD Vance for some reason. During the discussion, Zelensky was dressed down for dressing down and not saying thank you. You know, the way a parent might treat a petulant teenager… or a petulant teenager might treat their parent.

It remains to be seen whether the pleasantries will last or if J.D. will reemerge from under his rock and PILEDRIVE Americanic-Ukraino relations to oblivion once again but for now, for now we have peace.

Meanwhile, Russia has continued its air attacks on Kyiv and hasn’t shown any signs of accepting the agreement yet. However, now that Ukraine has America as its ally once again, President of the Country Donald Trump has said he would speak with Putin later this week. Hopefully, he doesn’t come out of that conversation with his mind changed back the other way.

US Secretary of State, Marco Rubio said, “the ball is now in [Russia’s] court,” and we would like it back please.

European countries have backed this hypothetical ceasefire agreement but then again they would wouldn’t they? Losers.

Do you think Russia should take the bait on this one? Let us know in the comments below!

In a show of solidarity with Elon Musk against his slumping Tesla stock, Donald j. Trump (The President) has said he will “buy a brand new Tesla” but then went one step further and promised to replace the entire fleet of presidential cars with Cybertrucks.

The announcement follows a 15% dip in shares for the electric car firm which Trump blamed on “radical left lunatics” but is actually due to Tesla missing production targets and the fact that Cybertrucks just look so goddamn ugly.

Despite this, Turmp has vowed to travel only by Cybertruck from henceforth. Despite being much smaller, less sturdy and more prone to exploding than the presidential limousines, we will now only see Cybertrucks with those little American flags from henceforth.

The super strong vehicle dubbed, ‘The Beast’ will be retired and donated to the pope.

Trump Cybertruck — An artist’s concept of what the presidential Cybertruck might look like (credit: Reddit)

Here’s Trump’s full Truth Social post:

“To Republicans, Conservatives, and all great Americans, Elon Musk is “putting it on the line” in order to help our Nation, and he is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! But the Radical Left Lunatics, as they often do, are trying to illegally and collusively boycott Tesla, one of the World’s great automakers, and Elon’s “baby,” in order to attack and do harm to Elon, and everything he stands for. They tried to do it to me at the 2024 Presidential Ballot Box, but how did that work out? In any event, I’m going to buy a brand new Tesla tomorrow morning as a show of confidence and support for Elon Musk, a truly great American. Why should he be punished for putting his tremendous skills to work in order to help MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN???”

To unpack that, where Trump uses quotes here just note that he isn’t using an actual news source rather he’s making it clear that he doesn’t mean these things literally. Elon is not literally, “putting it all on the line” because there is no literal line and even if there were, everything couldn’t fit on it. Likewise, Elon already has a literal “baby” whereas Tesla is a figurative baby. …Just wanted to clear that up.

And in case you were wondering if this move is a conflict of interest, well, let me tell you, that… shut up.

In a shocking turn of events that has shocked Americans across the Americas, it turns out that there has been another America above America this whole time. And they also have major political news? OK, slow down there, Jimmy, one thing at a time.

Apparently, this ‘Canada’ somehow has news in addition to all the American news we’re already very busy with. This less interesting news revolves around the unveiling of Canadia’s newly unveiled Liberal Party leader who will face off against the currently more popular Conservative party in the upcoming election for the position of Prime Minister.

To translate that into English: mini-America has announced the new head of their Democrats who’s gonna fight against their Republicans for who gets to be President.

As the world enters a new era of economic war because of AMERICA, Canadia has selected Mark Carney, a finance guy, to lead the way. He’s running on an anti-Trump platform as Canadians are becoming increasingly irritated by the American President’s anti-Canadian rhetoric which is just anti-American if you ask me.

Trump has blamed his northern neighbors for immigration, fentanyl smuggling and has threatened to make Canada the 51st state of America, which is embarrassing for Trump because I guess he doesn’t realize that the 51st state is actually Kentunky.

Because of this, Carney’s vowed to keep Canada’s retaliatory tariffs against America and honestly, who does he think he is? Does he know he’s not the main character here?

The hope is that he’ll lose the election and then America and Trump can go back to hogging the front page of the news AS IS OUR RIGHT. Canada can go back to eating bark or whatever it is they do there.

That’s enough about Canada, you know what, they’ve stolen the spotlight for LONG ENOUGH. Let’s go back to, what, let’s see, oh, here’s some news: Trump says he isn’t responsible for the market crash or any potential upcoming government shutdown. Now THAT’S news. You’ve got to have Trump in your news. It’s the rules. IT’S THE RULES. If it’s not about Trump, is it news? I don’t think so.
You know what? Maybe, this whole ‘Canada’ news, if you think about it, it is about Trump after all. Carney won a landslide in reaction to who? Trump. Who’s he talking about more than his granddaughter Margaret? Trump. Ok, great this really IS news then! Better than that, it’s actually American news, after all! Ha HA! Take that Canadia! 51st state here we come!

For more Canada news, don’t read this: Well, That’s Just Tariff-ic! Trump’s Trade War Ruins My Chances Of Becoming A Millionaire

In a STUNNING turn of events that has left me personally stunned, DONALD TRUMP has ceased the sharing of intelligence with Ukraine, leading to Ukraine to comment, “Meh.”

“Hey, we’re not saying you’re not smart, Donald,” continued the eager-to-appease Zelenskyy (current dictator of Ukraine). “Because you are smart, sure you’re smart, look at the way you dodged your taxes. But what I am saying is that you know, maybe we didn’t really need your ‘intelligence’ in the first place.”

Ukraine went further and said that Trump’s intelligence was in fact a hindrance to the war effort and was actively putting lives at risk.

“Maybe this intelligence isn’t so military after all. Maybe we should be calling it military stupid instead.”

US envoys were quick to point out that in this case ‘intelligence’ refers to the sharing of information rather than IQ points or whatever. To this Zelenskyy replied, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I seeeeeee. Haha, well, who’s the intelligent one now, huh?”

The government’s pause of intelligence coincides with a ceasing of military aid to Ukraine and follows a marked ramping of tensions between the two countries unramped only by Trump’s reading of an encouraging letter to the ailing presidente.

The world is still reeling from the near-fatal dose of cringe unleashed from Zelensky and Trump’s first sit-down peace discussion (debate?). During the talk (ambush?) J ‘to the D’ Vance finally joined the chat to turn up the heat on this cold war by dressing down the Ukrainian Prime Minister for dressing down and not saying ‘thank you’ because if anyone needs to be put in their place right now, its Ukraine.

Things went from worse to bad from there as the reality TV host continued to berate the TV comedian, leading to a distinct lack of reality or comedy from either side.

As egos continue to clash and people continue to die only time will tell what time will tell us about how many people will die and whether those egos will unclash.

Stay tuned for more new news and some old news too. xxx

In a bizarre story that is 100% real, a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto shaped like the Pokémon Charizard has just sold for nearly $90,000, prompting millions of people across America to search down the crevice between their couch cushions.

“It’s the new gold rush, for sure,” said part-time couch potato, Dogan Melisimby. “I found a Cheeto that looked just like Squirtle and thought, that’s for sure going to net me at least a mill but then I realised it was just chewing gum.”

The 3-inch-long snack, dubbed “Cheetozard” had been affixed to a custom Pokémon card and sealed in a plastic box for our own safety. Last year, the item went viral on social media and, due to its popularity, has now sold at auction for more money than any previous Charizard-shaped Cheeto.

How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay? I hear you ask. Well, the snack company behind Cheetos has now announced a range of Cheetos specifically cooked into Pokémon shapes thus immediately undercutting the entire market and making Cheetozard completely worthless.

New Pokémon shapes included in the branded Cheeto tie-in include: Ledian. Throh. Luvdisc. Avalugg. Wormadam. Delcatty. Uown. Glorporp. Duskclops. Regigigas. Garbodor. Sawk. Likwick. Okko. Trumbeak. Pogis. Spewpa. And everyone’s favourite… Dawn Wings Necrozma.

Each Cheéto-mon is worth $14,000.

Previous famous ‘Cheeto-likes’ (as they’re known on the street) include one that looked like Harambe the gorilla, which sold for $99,900, and one that looked exactly like my aunt. That last one didn’t sell, I gave it to her when I found it and she ate it immediately.

Wall Street Memes has reached out to Pepsi-Co (owners of Cheeto owners, Frito-Lay) for comment but as you well know we are forbidden from ever contacting them again after the previous incident.

Ohh, it’s Flamin’ like the dragon! I just got that. That’s cool. Haha, no wait, not ‘cool’ that’s ‘hot’ lol. Hot lol. Hahaha, I make myself laugh…

Winky face. Christmas tree. Eggplant. Now, that might seem like gibberish to the lay person, but to any savvy wallstreeter, this is a multi-million dollar deal and potentially the future of trading.

“We realized that emoji are a much more efficient way to communicate than traditional language,” said ‘Balls To The Wall’ trader, Lee Martin. “For example, instead of saying ‘buy stocks,’ we can just send a rocket emoji. And instead of saying ‘sell stocks,’ we can just send a bear emoji. Or let’s say I want to pump futures stocks in Chinese lithium mines I might say, 🙀🧥🦖💇‍♀️🏸… if that makes sense.”

Whilst this seems groundbreaking, for many, the change is nothing new. Elon Musk, for one, has long since switched to using emojis for all his communications. Musk recently tweeted a cryptic peanut emoji and sends poop emojis as default to all press enquiries.

The switch to emoji has not been without its challenges. Some traders have complained that it can be difficult to express complex ideas using only emoji, but they’re just 🧛.

“Sometimes I find myself having to use multiple emoji to convey a single idea,” said Dean Martin (no relation) another day trader. “For example, if I want to say ‘buy stocks in a tech company that is expected to grow rapidly,’ I have to send a rocket emoji, a computer emoji, a green arrow emoji, a laughing face emoji (to show I was happy about it) and then a love heart emoji to say that I love you and by that point you might as well just use words.”

Despite the challenges, the use of emoji in financial communication is on the rise. Some experts believe that emoji could eventually replace traditional language in the financial world and maybe even the world world.

“I think we’re seeing the beginning of a new era in financial communication 👯,” said one analyst. “Emoji are a powerful tool that can be used to convey complex ideas in a simple and efficient way 🐩.”

However, other experts are more skeptical. They argue that emoji can be too easily misinterpreted, which could lead to costly mistakes.

“I’m concerned that the use of emoji in financial communication could lead to confusion and misunderstandings,” said two economists. “I think it’s important to use caution when using emoji to communicate complex financial ideas 🍆.”

Only time will tell whether emoji will become the lingua franca of financial communication but I for one don’t think it will ever be able to say, write an entire article, for example…

[To read this entire article in emoji, please see below:]

🧱 💵 🅰 🌨 🆖 🇦 Ⓜ 🅰

😉 🌲 🍆. 🅰 . 🌨 , 🅰 Ⓜ Ⓜ 🅱 🇦 🌡 🅰 👱🏻‍♀️ , 🅱 🇦 💵 🅰 🧱 💵 🀄 Ⓜ 📧 🔛 🅰 🅰 🅰 🅰 🌡 🕐 🌾 🅰 .

” 👥⬅️ 🅰 🅰 Ⓜ 🅰 🀄 Ⓜ Ⓜ 🕐 🅰 🇦 🅰 👤📖 🅰 , ” 💬 ‘🏐 🇦 🌡 🧱’ 🅰 , 😪 🅰 . ” 🍴 🅰 , 🅰 🌾 💬 ‘ 🛒 ⭕ , ‘ 👥⬅️ 🥫 📦️➡️ 🀄 🚀 Ⓜ . ➕ 🅰 🌾 💬 ‘ ⭕ , ‘ 👥⬅️ 🥫 📦️➡️ 🀄 🐻 Ⓜ . 💬 🅿 🙏 🇦 ⛽️ 🕐 ⭕ 🅿 🇨🇳 Ⓜ Ⓜ 🅿 Ⓜ 💬 , ♀ 🍴 🅰 🛠️ 👃. ”

🧑‍🍳 , 🍴 🅰 🌡 🅰 🇮🇸 🆖 🆕 . 🍈 Ⓜ 🍴 1️⃣ 🅰 🆖 🦓 🇦 Ⓜ 🍴 🅰 👤👨⬅️ 🅰 . Ⓜ 🕐 🀄 😢 🥜 Ⓜ ➕ 📦️➡️ 🀄 💩 Ⓜ 🅰 🅰 🇦 🅰 🗜 🔍.

🇨🇭 🇦 Ⓜ 🅰 ❌ 🅱 ⭕ 🚮 🅰 . Ⓜ 🅰 🙏 👀 🅰 🇮🇹 🥫 🅱 🇦 🗯️ Ⓜ 💡 🆖 🔛 Ⓜ , 🅱 🧛 .

” Ⓜ 🅿 🔎 Ⓜ 🅰 🇦 🎠 Ⓜ Ⓜ 🇦 🔛 🀄 🆖 💡 , ” 💬 🅰 🅰 ( 🇳🇴 🅰 ) 🙏 👀 . ” 🍴 🅰 , 🍴 🅿 🙏 🇦 💬 ‘ 🛒 ⭕ 🅿 🀄 🅰 🅰 🇮🇸 ❌ 🇦 🌲⬆️ 🅰 , ‘ 🅿 🅰 🇦 📦️➡️ 🀄 🚀 Ⓜ , 🀄 💻️ Ⓜ , 🀄 🟢 ← Ⓜ , 🀄 😆 😀 Ⓜ ( 🇦 🚿 🅿 🅰 😀 🅰 🇮🇹 ) ➕ 🀄 ❤️ ❤️ Ⓜ 🇦 💬 🅰 🅿 ❤️ ➡️👤 ➕ 🅱 🅰 👈️ ➡️👤 Ⓜ 🅰 🎠 ⚔ . ”

🌡 🅰 , 🌡 🎠 🌾 Ⓜ 🅿 🅰 🅰 🇮🇸 🀄 🌡 🌄 . Ⓜ ❌ 💜 🅰 Ⓜ ⭕ 🅰 🅰 🅰 🅰 🅿 🌡 🅰 🌐 ➕ 🅰 ✌ 🌡 🌐 🌐 .

” 🅿 💭 🌻 ‘ 🆓 👀 🌡 🆕 🌾 🀄 🆕 🅰 🅿 🅰 🅰 👯 , ” 💬 1️⃣ 🅰 . ” Ⓜ 🅰 🀄 ⭕ 🔪 🅰 🥫 🅱 😒 🇦 🔛 Ⓜ 💡 🅿 🀄 👿 ➕ 🕐 🅰 🐩 . ” ✌ , ⭕ ❌ 🅰 Ⓜ 🤨 . 🅰 🅰 Ⓜ 🥫 🅱 🛠 🅰 Ⓜ , ⭕ 🅰 🇦 ⭕ 🅰 .

” 🅿 ‘ 🀄 🔛 🅰 🌡 🎠 🌾 Ⓜ 🅿 🅰 🅰 ⭕ 🅰 🇦 🔛 ➕ 🅰 , ” 💬 2️⃣ 🔛 . ” 🅿 💭 🇮🇹 ‘ 🆘 🅰 🇦 🎠 🅰 🆖 Ⓜ 🇦 🅰 Ⓜ 🅰 💡 🍆 . ” 🔛 ⏱️ 🗣️ Ⓜ 🅱 🌡 🅰 🅰 🌾 🅰 🅰 .

Ok, so in hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have put all my life savings into futures stocks against Canadian bacon. Trump’s 25% tariff has hit Canada, Mexico, China and if I’m being honest, my whole ass.

Everyone’s taking a hit, I know, the stock market’s down. Energy and grocery prices are set to skyrocket, but that’s the price of financial freedom I suppose. From my perspective, I’m going to have a LOT more financial freedom because I simply won’t be a part of the financial system. I think I might go and live in the woods or something.

Look, I’m not financially savvy, I’ll admit. I don’t have a financial advisor (why would I waste money on that?) but the advice I’ve always lived by is “go big and go broke” or something. So what I did was I took out a third mortgage on my house and I used that as collateral for these futures. Then I’ve heard gold is the gold standard so I took all the money that I had and turned that into gold then I pawned that gold then with that money I placed a bet on whether I’d get back to the pawnshop in time to get my gold back.

It was a perfect plan and then Donald Trump came along and RUINED it.

So now I’m writing this from an abandoned internet cafe in Tuscon hoping the feds don’t follow this IP address. Heck, even if they do I’ll be long dead by then.

Apparently, Canada and China and everyone else is going to retaliate with tariffs of their own and idk, I’m kind of into that? Like, can I get in on that? Like, idk why I can’t just impose tariffs myself. Like, let’s say I tariff the pawnbroker who has my gold then he has to give me 25% right? I mean, if Trump can just charge people more money, I can just do that too right? “Be the president of your own destiny” that’s the life advice I live by.

Trump said there’s “no room left” for negotiations on these things, but eeeeehhhhh, come on, like, eehhhh, come on? Like, help a guy out here Don, like I’m drowning here, like literally drowning here and I’ve got alimony to pay, like Don, come aaaannn help an old buddy out, huh?

Every single member of the republican party was removed from the House Chamber this Tuesday after disrupting President Trump’s Address to Congress by whooping and chanting “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” repeatedly.

House Speaker Mike Johnson banged his gavel and instructed the Republicans to “Uphold and maintain decorum in the House and to cease and further disruptions” multiple times. However, the representatives were simply too excited by Trump’s words and had to be forcibly removed from the chamber by the sergeant at arms.

The chanting and cheers continued as the republican representatives resisted their ejection in what many are now calling “reverse January 6th”.

“I don’t know why we were kicked out, sure they were disruptions, but they were positive disruptions,” explained Senator Ted Cruz outside the Capitol. “Yes, I was chanting at the top of my lungs but how could you not? It’s not everyday you get to meet your second favorite president.”

When Trump was finally able to continue highlighting his accomplishments, Rep. Johnson noted that Democrats were also disruptive by engaging in subtle and not so subtle protests against the president. Some held up signs saying, “MUSK STEALS”, “SAVE MEDICAID” and “I LIKE ROCKS” (but that last one might have been about something else) whilst others wore pink or the colors of the Ukrainian flag which really clash.

The House Speaker then called for all these members to ejected from the chamber as well and finally Rep. Johnson ejected himself for banging his gavel too loudly. This left the building entirely empty but for Trump.

Undeterred, the president continued his speech to an empty room. It is unclear what was said as no one was their to witness it. Republicans are now stumped as to what to do policy-wise as the popular riddle asks, “If a Trump makes a speech in an empty congress hall and no one is there to hear it, do his tariffs still apply?”

Rep. Al Green’s whereabouts remain unknown although he is now presumed dead.

Stick with Wall Street Meams Dot Com for more political discourse that’s up to the minute (but obviously not this exact minute, or the next one, just, I meant whatever minute I’m writing about, leave me alone.).

FOR MORE TRUMP NEWS READ: Willy Wonka To Sue Donald Trump For Stealing ‘Golden Ticket’ Idea

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