Max Profit | Wall Street Memes

Cheap as chips

Tbf I haven’t actually heard anything about Mr Huang responding, but you can probably imagine him being mad about it. Him just seething. Just cooking in his leather jacket…

Anyways, online booksellers, ‘Amazon Dot Com’ launched their new AI chip ‘Trainium3’ on Tuesday and according to the corp servers on that chip are 4x faster, energy efficient than previous generations and are up to 40% cheaper than Nvidia’s competitor chips.

But they would say that, wouldn’t they?

“Trainium already represents a multibillion-dollar business today and continues to grow really rapidly,” Amazon Web Services CEO Matt Garman said during the tech giant’s annual event, re:Invent. Sure, like I’m trusting the guy who pressed off and on again on the internet a couple months ago.

The awkward thing is that Amazon is a massive Nvidia customer. In fact, more than 10% of Lama Zone’s capital expenditure (that CapEx to all the cool boys out there) goes to Nvidia and in return, Amazon is 7.5% of Nvidia’s revenue.

So you’re saying the money’s just going round in a circle? What’s another word for a 3D circle again? Oh yeah: a bubble.

…what does all this have to do with selling books?

Previously on, ‘Tech Oligopoly: The Series’

Back in November, Amazon got a 5% stock boost from the announcement that OpenAI will access hundreds of thousands of Nvidia graphics cards through its cloud computing service.

The deal was just one of many that OpenAI made this year. $300 billion with Oracle. $22 billion with CoreWave. Plus the ink’s only just dried on agreements with Broadcom, AMD, Nvidia and my mate Nigel who has a basement that they can use if Sharon kicks them out again.

And it looks like OpenAI might need it soon because, lady and gentleman, the bubble is at a-bursting point.

Nvidia just topped $5 trillion. OpenAI is about to be worth $1 trillion with barely any revenue (but hey, they are a non-profit). And everyone’s getting into bed with each other, assuring that if one drowns, they all drown (not sure why the bed’s in the ocean, but here we are).

Maybe at least one of those data points will change soon however, as OpenAI have started to work with Microsoft to see if they can change to a for-profit.

Let’s just see how all this pans out…

No.

Not content with an eternity in second place, silver has finally had a bigger rally than gold, doubling in value this year with a record 6% rise on Friday to a staggering $57.86 an ounce, completing a consecutive 6 days of winning.

Meanwhile, pathetic ‘gold’ only gained a shitty 0.6%, pffhhh. Yeah, it’s a record high for gold, too, but we’re used to gold being the winning metal. Boring. Move over.

Oh, wait, sorry, wrong graph, this is my heart rate, please, call an ambulance…

A Silver Lining

America’s gold reserve, Fort Knox, has said that they will be throwing all of their worthless gold into a lake and replacing it all with bars of sweet, sweet silver.

Athletes everywhere are saying they no longer want to sink their teeth into gold, but are hoping to win silver at their next competitive event.

Dictionaries have announced that they will be removing the terms ‘the gold standard’ and ‘worth its weight in gold’ and replacing the phrases with ‘the silver standard’ and ‘worth its weight in silver.’

And the next James Bond film has finally been announced, with a title to reflect this financial news, ‘Silverfinger’. Yes, the British super spy will face off against a man who covets silver above everything else like a weirdo.

FUN FACT: A kilogram of silver is heavier than a kilogram of gold!

Swedish pop group ABBA have said that they will release a new album of “even greater hits” called ‘ABBA: Silver.’

Rappers say they’ll be wearing silver grills and chains… errr… what else is gold?

Golden ticket? Golden brown? Brown sugar?

The sun? …no. Maybe that’ll do…

Needless to say, all that glitters is not gold; in fact, it might just be… something else. Silver? Maybe. Yes.

For more news that’s ‘gonna be golden’ (that’s a topical reference), read this: Gold Tops $4,000 For The First Time And The Reason Is Really Dumb

…although you probably can, it was for money, obviously. There you go, now you don’t have to read this article. I’m sorry I clickbaited you here under false pretences. Go ahead, go do something more productive with your day than wasting your time here.

An Italian man has been arrested for alleged benefit fraud after allegedly dressing up as his dead mother, allegedly.

The alleged 56-year-old from Borgo Virgilio allegedly claimed 53,000 alleged euros annually from alleged pension payments meant for his alleged mother, allegedly hiding her alleged body rather than reporting her alleged death.

Allegedly.

Dead mom norman bates picture — I’m guessing his vibe is something like this but Italian.

It seems that he wasn’t repeatedly collecting the cheques dressed as a woman, but it was only when his mom’s ID expired that he had to go in person to get her paperwork renewed. Little problem, though: his mom was super dead.

Obviously, unless she had a really good skin routine and Mr. Man could pull off the ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ of the century, the three-year-old corpse probably wasn’t going to pass mustard (cut the muster? What’s the phrase?).

So, he had no choice: he had to Mrs. Doubtfire this shit.

As the mayor of Borgo Virgilio explained, he shuffled into the council office dressed as “an old woman,” wearing “lipstick, nail polish, jewellery and old-fashioned earrings, and had a dark brown bob of hair.”

Queen.

Dead Gorgeous

It was only thanks to the staff members’ deep-seated transphobia that the man was quickly spotted as a fraud.

The workers noticed that his neck “was a bit too thick and even the wrinkles were strange”, allegedly. “The skin on his hands did not seem to be that of an 85-year-old woman.”

So there we go, the investigation’s ongoing, but if there’s a lesson to be learned from all this, kids, it’s that you should really moisturize.

For more crazy true crime stories, don’t bother with a podcast, read this: NBA Stars And Mafiosi Arrested In Gambling Sting Worth Tens Of Millions

You might have seen that Elon Musk attended Donald Trump’s big dinner with MBS (mortgage-backed securities), implying that the hatchet has been buried, the beef has been quashed and my parents are finally getting undivorced.

So two morally bankrupt billionaires attended a dinner with a journalist murderer but could there be something more sinister going on? Could the entire feud have just been a carefully orchestrated economic distraction?

Probably not. That seems about too clever.

…but maybe.

I mean, look at the timeline. Trump gets into power, announces Elon as his VP, and the economy’s doing fine. But then the beef starts, they call each other pedophiles (a classic move) and Trump kicks Musky man out his (white) house. Things are looking shaky so the economy crashes, all their rich friends can buy in cheap and now, the moment we get another lil boost with this whole Nvidia thing, they’re apparently back together.

It’s the perfect crime.

I don’t know if you watch Love House? It’s a Netflix reality show and it’s pretty good but basically Cassie and Christie were beefing because Christie slept with Troy so then Cassie and Troy broke up but then in the next episode Cassie and Christie were like best friends and then it’s like, were they actually beefing? Or did they both just want an excuse to get rid of Troy?

So anyway, this Trump and Musk thing is just like that.

Also I made all that up, Love House isn’t real. But it should be. Then Trump and Musk could live there.

We’ll see how this plays out but I definitely learned one thing from this situation and it’s don’t get back together with your ex, they’ll only break your heart again.

Nvidia, the $5 trillion dollar company that seems to be holding up the entire economy, reported their long-awaited quarterly earnings recently, and boy, did they earn.

$57 billion in revenue and $65 billion predicted for the next quarter. Whew. Hold on, I need to lie down.

In a statement, CEO of Leather Jackets, Jensen Huang said, “Blackwell sales are off the charts, and cloud GPUs are sold out. We’ve entered the virtuous cycle of AI. The AI ecosystem is scaling fast — with more new foundation model makers, more AI startups, across more industries, and in more countries. AI is going everywhere, doing everything, all at once.”

Shit, was that an em—dash? Did Huang just use AI to make a statement about how AI is cool? Dang, I respect the hustle.

So maybe there is no bubble? Or there is, but it’s made of steel or something, idk. At the very least it’s still expanding since Nvidia’s boosted stock for all the other AI companies like AMD (up 4%), Micron (up 2%), Amazon, Google, Meta, Microsoft, Al’s Neon Tires And Roll On Slacks (wait, that’s Al, like Albert, not A.I., sorry I git mixed up…) all received gains from the rally.

Here are some more numbers that I don’t understand: “For Q3, Nvidia saw earnings per share (EPS) of $1.30 on revenue of $57.01 billion. Analysts were anticipating EPS of $1.26 on revenue of $55.2 billion, according to Bloomberg consensus data. The company saw EPS and revenue of $0.81 and $35.1 billion, respectively, in the same period last year. The AI giant’s data center business brought in $51.2 billion versus estimates of $49.3 billion. Nvidia’s gaming revenue was $4.3 billion, just short of the $4.4 billion estimate.”

…Sorry, I fell asleep. What did I miss?

But yeah, things are good it seems so once again, thank you Nvidia.

I pledge Allegiance to Nvidia in the United States of America and to the AI chips for which it stands, one nation under Trump, indivisible, with fast internet speeds and cool neon camera glasses for all.

The valuation is $230 billion, there you go, saved you some time…

It turns out that Elon ‘Smells’ Musk is still not content with the dubious title of ‘richest man in the world’ and wants to be a bit richer. No, a $70.5 billion net worth and a trillion-dollar pay package doesn’t buy you much these days, so Musky-man’s in the market for $15 billion to go towards his AI startup, xAI (XAAIAA.PVT).

‘Startup’? What are we even talking about? OpenAI is apparently a startup, these aren’t cobbled together by teenagers in a garage, what are you talking about?

The equity ask would give xAI (and that’s not one of his kids, just to clarify) a valuation of $230 billion dollars worth of money (USD), which is more than double what it was back in March. I’m sorry, guys, are we looking at the same product here? We’re still talking about the creators of MechaHitler right? You’re saying that’s worth $230 billion? I guess they know something we don’t…

Definitely not a Nazi — Any implied connection with the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei is purely coincidental.

I mean xAI has seen rapid growth over the last two years from not existing at all to existing now. With the flagship product: Grok and the not quite so flagship product: Spicy Grok, xAI have really made a name for themselves, even if that name is completely unpronouncable.

xAI? More like, x-A-WHY-is-this-company-so-valuable?

Tesla’s also getting in on the action with stockholders approving an investment in the company earlier this month. So I guess we’re just moving money round in circles so long as it’s in Elon’s orbit? That’s just money laundering, right?

xAI hopes to rival OpenAI and Claude and Google AI and Bing AI for AI dominance in the AI space which should be easy because Bing sucks.

We’ll see how this plays out though. Will Elon take over the world or will FOMO push him closer to become the man who finally pops the bubble?

For more high-quality journalism like this, click here: Elon Musk Smells

AI Bubble? What AI Bubble?

Google (GOOG, GOOGL, GOOGOOGAGA) just posted some outstanding earnings, well above what you’d expect even for a company with a monopoly over the entire internet. It looks like they’ve managed to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge through the recent AI pullback to gain a massive six-point boost when everyone else is flailing.

And the hero behind the Goog’s massive rally is no other than the GOAT of investments himself: Mr. Warren Buffett.

Yes, that’s right, Buffett’s investment firm, Berkshire Hathaway (BRB) just ploughed $4.93 billion into 17.85 million shares in Alphabet. …That’s the company that owns Google, not like, you know, the dictionary.

It’s a surprising move from the Berkshire boys, considering Buffett just pulled a bunch of stock out of tech recently and seems to be pretty averse to the sector.

Here’s a quote for you, why not: “The ‌stake purchase of a tech company may represent a different type of mentality at Berkshire, though it’s not a total departure from its value-investing model,” said Steve Sosnick, chief strategist at Interactive Brokers (who?).

It’s all a good thing for Google, which just rallied 14% this quarter, gaining 46%, in part thanks to Buffett’s move.

google stock graph — I just screenshotted this graph, is that of any interest? let me know, if not, I can take it down…

And tbh this may be Buffett’s last move. The 95-year-old is scheduled to step down as Berkshire’s chairperson and pass away at some point next year.

Google, Shmoogle

The question remains: what is Google’s place in the new AI landscape? They’ve put their money where their mouths are (is?) with a big investment in the new tech and data centers and the like. It’s what everyone else is doing but there’s a problem: AI undermines Google’s core product which is search.

Now you’ve got some market confusion because right along side its search there’s an AI mode and AI suggestions at the top of every search result. It’s harder than ever to use Google as was previously intended.

So what’s the deal are they cannibalising their own flagship product? Or is this the future of search?

We may not know for many years, but one thing is for certain: these latest earnings seem to say that it’s on the right track.

Tesla shareholders have just approved Elon’s famous $1trl pay package, securing Musk’s continued commitment to the company he probably should have already been committed to without a bribe.

But the thing is despite the big headlines, Elon is not now suddenly the world’s first trillionaire, no, he’s going to have to work for it.

Elon Gate

You see, Elon has to ensure Tesla hits some pretty big targets if he’s going to be in with a chance of winning the shares that could be worth up to one trillion dollars. And some of those targets are pretty hard to hit if I say so myself.

For one, Tesla has to reach a market cap of $8.5 trillion, which, come on guys, that’s a little ambitious. Nvidia, which is way more important than you, only just reached 5 trill. Apple, freaking Apple, is still only worth half of what you’re projecting.

Elon Tesla Pay Package — Just look at this graph. Elon’s got a lot of work to do.

So yeah, I think this is all pretty academic, especially when recently Tesla’s sales have slumped, profits have crashed and they face ongoing challenges from China, China, and China.

But it’s fine because Elon has a plan: pivot to making robots, robotaxis and fast food joints. Yeah, that’ll work…

So it’s unlikely Elon will get his trilly, but hey, ‘Elon could earn a trillion dollars’ makes for a pretty catchy headline, I mean, you clicked on it, didn’t you?

Previously On Elon’s Quest To Be Even Richer…

Previously on this story, Elon Musk, the world’s most rich man by volume, gate-crashed his own earnings call to beg shareholders to vote in favor of this controversial $1 trillion pay package. Come on, a guy’s got to eat.

Musk interrupted his CFO at the end of the 75-minute call to say, “I just think that there needs to be enough voting control to give a strong influence, but not, not so much that I can’t be fired if I go insane.”

Wait, why… why would ‘going insane’ even be on the cards, Elon? I never thought you’d go insane. Why did you bring that up? I’m definitely worried that’s now an option, ELON.

Weirdly, that’s almost exactly what he said back in August when he weaselled himself a $30 billion pay bump, “I think my control over Tesla should be enough to ensure that it goes in a good direction, but not so much control that I can’t be thrown out if I go crazy.” We get it, you could go cray-cray, please stop saying it.

But other than that, I feel this is a weirdly measured response which basically boils down to ‘I need more power, please.’ and I guess he now has it…

Elon carried on, “I just don’t feel comfortable building a robot army here and then being ousted because of some asinine recommendations from ISS and Glass Lewis who have no freaking clue.” Jesus, no one’s asking you to build a robot army. I think you might have already gone insane, sir.

Look, a big fat trilly sounds insane for the man who’s already worth more than the entire GDP of his home South Africa, BUT, as a spokesperson put it, “The proposed pay package is actually worth zero to our CEO unless and until the shareholders see the value of the company nearly double and an operational milestone is met.”

I’m sure you’re job is the same, I just know that you wouldn’t get out of bed if you weren’t dangled a massive bonus of double your current earnings. What, you work to the best of your ability and still only get paid your normal rate? Well, shit, sorry mate, maybe you should have thought about that before you became poor.

So in conclusion, yes, they’ve finally granted him his hypothetical one trillion in shares BUT Elon will have an uphill battle for the monies, considering Tesla’s been in a rut lately. Yes, they had a record quarterly revenue from buyers trying to cash in their expiring tax credits, BUT profits dropped 37%. The company continues to face threats from all sides: the US government, Chinese competition, and this random bill for one trillion dollars that no one can seem to explain…

Tesla shareholders are meeting in Austin, Texas right now with the course of history in their hands: will Elon Musk quit the company as nothing more than the world’s richest man? Or will they give him a trillion dollars and make him even more the world’s richest man?

Either way, this article will probably be out of date by the time you read it.

We’re talking about the hotly contested pay package that, if Elon can make Tesla hit its targets, will grant him up to $1 trillion dollars in United States money (dollars).

That’s a pretty hot bribe, so hot in fact that if the shareholders vote to take it away from Musk, he might just take his ball and go home.

Shit, I wish I could get a trillion dollars just from threatening to leave my job, wait, let me try it…

…no. They said I was welcome to quit and I just shrivelled and said in the smallest, most pathetic voice, ‘noooo, thank you, I’ll staaayyyy’…

Elons For A Pay Rise (Get it? like, ‘he longs’, Elon… no?)

Anyways. I know a trillion sounds like a lot but it’s not like they’re physically handing him over a football field’s worth of stacked dollar bills. No, we’re talking about a 423.7 million shares, which are worth about a trillion dollars. So that’s all fair then.

And all that’s only if Tesla can reach a market cap of $8.5 trillion, which, come on guys, that’s a little ambitious. Nvidia, which is way more important than you, only just reached 5 trill. Apple, freaking Apple, is still only worth half of what you’re projecting.

So yeah, I think this is all pretty academic, especially when recently Tesla’s sales have slumped, profits have crashed and they face ongoing challenges from China, China, and China.

But it’s fine because Elon has a plan: pivot to making robots, robotaxis and fast food joints. Yeah, that’ll work…

So it’s unlikely Elon will get his trilly from this vote at least even if it does go through but hey, ‘Elon could earn a trillion dollars’ makes for a pretty catchy headline, I mean, you clicked on it, didn’t you?

Why? AI, that’s wh-ai.

The company behind the Amazon Basics Golf Ball and the Amazon Basics Stainless Steel Tri-Ply Frying Pan, 30 cm, Heat-Resistant Handle, Silver, said yesterday that it would be cutting 5% of its overall staff, all from its corporate sector.

Yes, not content with just crashing the internet, Amazondotcominc. plans to crash 14,000 lives too.

The company has not confirmed whether Jeff Bezos’ role will be included in that 14,000, because if you really wanted to save money, that’s where I’d start, guys.

Fired Amazon employees — Just to help you visualize it, this is what 14,000 people look like. Look into their eyes. How could you even think about firing these people?

This is a cost-cutting measure, and Ama-zone isn’t firing these family members because it thinks AI can replace them (you can’t automate the work of Operations Manager at Amazon Air, KCVG, Aleksandra Isaac), no it’s because Bezos et. al. spent too much on AI and need to cut costs elsewhere. They claim that they can now be more efficient because of AI, but let’s be honest, that’s BS.

As SVP Beth Galetti put it in the most vomit-inducing corporate speak you’ve ever heard, “We expect to continue hiring in key strategic areas while also finding additional places we can remove layers, increase ownership, and realize efficiency gains.”

Shit, OK, fine, I take it back, maybe you can automate what Galetti does.

Amazon? More Like Imma Done Here.

This is all part of an ongoing scale-back from when Army Zone overhired during the pandemic. Back in 2023, the company cut 27,000 workers, which was fun.

$AMZN of course got a tasty stock boost from the latest news, up +2.76% at market close yesterday. I mean, that number might be completely different by the time you read this so idk what use it is for me to put that there.

We’ll see on Thursday when the company’s quarterly report comes out whether Amazon’s big AI gamble has paid off. You would have thought no after literally crashing the internet but I guess 14,000 less paychecks to send out would say otherwise…

For more Amazong news, read this one: Amazon Orders Delivery Drivers to Work From Home

Latest news

Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here’s Why

Woman Returns From Night Out With $50 Billion In Debt And Here’s How

95% Of Black Friday Purchases Were Financed, Here Are 5 Other Seasonal Recession Indicators

FBI Paid $1 Million In Overtime To Redact The Epstein Files, Here’s What They’re Hiding

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good

Cheap as chips

Previously on, ‘Tech Oligopoly: The Series’

Related Articles

Pen Smith •

Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here’s Why

Pen Smith • November 27, 2025

Scientists Just Unlocked A “Universal” AI Jailbreak And You Won’t Believe How

Pen Smith •

An AI Detector Just Flagged The Declaration Of Independence As 99.9% AI-Generated: Was George Washington Secretly An LMM?

Latest news

Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here’s Why

Woman Returns From Night Out With $50 Billion In Debt And Here’s How

95% Of Black Friday Purchases Were Financed, Here Are 5 Other Seasonal Recession Indicators

FBI Paid $1 Million In Overtime To Redact The Epstein Files, Here’s What They’re Hiding

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good

Max Profit• D

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Max Profit• D

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Trending News

Latest news

Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here’s Why

Woman Returns From Night Out With $50 Billion In Debt And Here’s How

95% Of Black Friday Purchases Were Financed, Here Are 5 Other Seasonal Recession Indicators

FBI Paid $1 Million In Overtime To Redact The Epstein Files, Here’s What They’re Hiding

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good

No.

A Silver Lining

Related Articles

Ima Short •

Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good

Ima Short • December 2, 2025

US Banks Just Had The Biggest Cash Injection Since The Dot Com Bubble: Here’s 5 Reasons To Panic

Ima Short • November 27, 2025

Michael Burry Just Brought Up GME, Here Are 5 More Red Flags That Signal a Bubble

Latest news

Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here’s Why

Woman Returns From Night Out With $50 Billion In Debt And Here’s How

95% Of Black Friday Purchases Were Financed, Here Are 5 Other Seasonal Recession Indicators

FBI Paid $1 Million In Overtime To Redact The Epstein Files, Here’s What They’re Hiding

Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It

Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good

Max Profit• December 1, 2025D

Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?

Max Profit• D

Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?

Trending News