Max Profit | Wall Street Memes

Elon Musk (or ‘Elomusk’ for short) is rumored to be considering a SpaceX/Tesla merger just before SpaceX goes for its long-gestating IPO (‘initial public offering’ for long).

Apparently, Musk has discussed this option with colleagues, according to “people familiar with the talks,” according to CNBC (according to me).

Will We Get Electric Vehicles On Mars?

The move would follow a long line of self-mergers (those are rare) that Elon has enacted with his companies.

This year, SpaceX absorbed xAI, and before that, the social media platform X was absorbed by xAI, and before that, a giant cloud of dust and gas coalesced into the sun and planets that we call our solar system.

It’s a smart move because xAI + SpaceX makes for a much tastier IPO (now estimated to hit $1.25 trillion), and despite their seemingly disparate products, SpaceX’s plans to launch orbital AI datacenters are, in fact, very much aligned with xAI’s tech.

So why not repeat the move with Tesla?

Like xAI was before the merger, Tesla is also struggling financially and could do with the rocket boost that SpaceX would bring. Elon has already pivoted Tesla away from making cars and towards making AI and robots. Why not throw rockets into the mix?

Plus, Tesla and SpaceX already cross-pollinate many resources, like staff members, research, and that one time SpaceX launched a Roadster into space for some reason.

And most importantly, Elon will now only need one email address.

SpaceTeXla

Now the only question that remains is what the company will be called?

Technically, SpaceX’s full legal name is Space Exploration Technologies Corporation, and SpaceXAI is a division of that company (formerly called X.AI Corp). Tesla, meanwhile, is simply Tesla, Inc (boring).

So it seems clear that the only possible option for a name that acknowledges all this heritage is:

SpaceX.AIplorationTeslachnologiesCorp.oration, Inc.

But maybe we should just start calling it ‘Elon’s Company’ for short.

SpaceX’s IPO filing is in! And with these files comes the biggest tranche of juicy info since some other files were released (the UFO files, obviously). But perhaps the biggest reveal from these documents is just how big Anthropic’s investment actually is.

As previously reported, earlier this month, Anthropic struck a deal with SpaceX to use its Memphis-based Colossus data facility (the world’s largest AI supercomputer) to increase Claude’s computing capacity by a massive 300 megawatts.

But now the exact figures behind the deal have been revealed and the numbers are staggering.

According to the filing, Anthropic will pay SpaceX $1.25 billion a month until May 2029. Although the agreement could be terminated with 90 days’ notice by either party, should it stay in place, the windfall could be as much as $40 billion for SpaceX.

The money is a much-needed sweetener ahead of SpaceX’s upcoming IPO, as the filing also revealed SpaceX’s deepening financial troubles.

Last year, SpaceX was operating at a net loss of $4.9 billion. And in the first three months of this year, that loss was $4.3 billion. Although the company pulls in billions in revenue and has hundreds of billions in assets, the company also has $60.5 billion in debt.

Anthropic to the rescue

Here is where the Anthropic deal starts to fall into place.

Claude’s daddy is providing an essential revenue stream to the company. Elon was clearly playing 4D chess with the xAI/SpaceX merger, seeing that AI is the future of tech (or at the very least a modern gold rush).

By combining xAI with SpaceX, Elon secured Anthropic’s investment and signalled the company’s ambitions to put AI data centres into orbit.

All of which makes for a much tastier IPO, regardless of the debt and revenue shortfall.

And of course, it’s Elon himself who will take home the massive win when SpaceX does gain its ticker. With a potential valuation of $1.25 trillion, Musk’s majority ownership could be worth more than $600 billion.

If all goes according to plan, that would make Elon Musk the world’s first trillionaire.

We’ll wait and see how the IPO actually pans out but one thing’s for certain, SpaceX is going to da moon.

President Donald Trump has settled with his own Justice Department in maybe the most bizarre legal case in US history.

As experts explained it to the presiding judge, “A sitting president seeks monetary damages for alleged harm to his personal interests from an executive agency that he controls.”

But the $10 billion lawsuit never went before the judge because two days before the deadline to start the case, the plaintiffs (the Trump organization) settled with the IRS (Internal Revenue Service).

Now, Trump and his sons will receive a formal apology from the IRS for leaking Trump’s tax returns just before the election, and the IRS will create a $1.8 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund” that can be paid out to other victims of unfair political investigation.

So Trump sued himself, settled with himself, and will now pay himself?

Well, no, he can’t just pay himself. Instead, this tax-funded fund (fun!) is to provide a “systematic process to hear and redress claims of those who suffered under weaponisation and lawfare.”

Oh, lawfare, like warfare. I see what you did there.

As Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche explains, “The machinery of government should never be weaponised against any American, and it is this Department’s intention to make right the wrongs that were previously done while ensuring this never happens again.”

Tax Return To Sender

But this settlement isn’t the end of it. The Justice Department’s press release was quietly amended a day later to include a hyperlink to additional terms of the agreement.

According to CNN, these bonus terms read, “The federal government is “FOREVER BARRED and PRECLUDED” from prosecuting or pursuing “claims” or “examinations” arising from matters pending before the IRS, including “tax returns” filed by Trump before the agreement was reached. The language applies not just to Trump, but to his family, trusts, companies and other affiliates.”

Democrats have filed a motion to block the settlement and say this is just a way for Trump to give money to his allies and ensure “his family, and his companies’ taxes are permanently off limits,” said Democrat Richard Neal in a Tweet.

While we don’t yet know how the fund will be spent, we also don’t know if the lawsuit had any grounds or not because it never went to trial. The allegation was that the IRS didn’t do enough to stop former IRS contractor Charles Littlejohn from leaking Trump’s taxes (he’s now in prison, btw. Not Trump, the leaker).

So now I guess we’ll never know if that’s true or if the damage was worth $10 billion because the trial never happened and everyone just agreed it was worth $1.8 billion instead.

No doubt this story isn’t over, and the Anti-Weaponization Fund has a lot of lawfare still to come.

Wait, just how big is her underwear?

Last September, a truck driver was stopped in England with a delivery of Kim Kardashian’s shapewear brand, ‘SKIMS’. After x-raying the vehicle, border guards discovered the truck contained a delivery of Kim Kardashian’s shapewear brand, ‘SKIMS’.

They also discovered 90 packages of cocaine hidden in the truck’s back doors.

The 198 pounds of drugs were said to be worth $8.4 million. It’s unclear how much the underwear was worth.

The driver, 40-year-old Jakub Jan Konkel, initially denied smuggling the underwear but confessed to transporting the drugs for a €4,500 ($5,276 (¥832149)) payment.

This week, the driver was sentenced to 13 years and six months in prison for drug smuggling and “crimes against fashion”.

As Paul Orchard, of the National Crime Agency, explained, “Organised crime groups use corrupt drivers like Konkel to move Class A drugs often hidden on entirely legitimate loads such as this.”

“The detection and investigation have removed a significant amount of cocaine whose profits are lost to the crime group behind the smuggling attempt, and with Konkel they’ve lost an important enabler.”

We got ‘em, boys.

Keeping Up With The Kartel

Despite sharing the same first letter of their names, Konkel appears to have no connection with the billionaire socialite, Kim Kardashian.

Kardashian could not be reached for comment, and not just because she’s blocked me on Instagram.

Skims (pronounced SKIMS) was founded in 2019 by Kardashian and Swedish entrepreneurs Emma and Jens Grede. Skims sold out within ten minutes of launch and earned $2 million in profits on the first day. Since then, the company has reached a valuation of $5 billion.

…Sounds like the real money’s in the underwear, Konkel.

Claude’s daddy, Anthropic, just inked a deal with SpaceX (SpaceXAI) to use the full computing power of SpaceX’s Colossus 1 data facility, giving them 300 more megawatts in capacity.

Paid plans will now have double the Claude Code limit. So, win-win.

Here’s Anthropic’s statement on X (SpaceXAI), “We’ve agreed to a partnership with @SpaceX that will substantially increase our compute capacity. This, along with our other recent compute deals, means that we’ve been able to increase our usage limits for Claude Code and the Claude API.”

It’s good news for Anthropic who needed more computing power following a surge in interest in their ‘Claude Code’ and it’s good news for Elon Musk who was keen to win AI investors’ trust ahead of SpaceXXX’s upcoming IPO.

For anyone questioning Elon’s AI ambitions (‘AImbitions’ if you will), this is a clear and singular direction for the rocket manufacturer-turned AI/social media company. SpaceX will be an AI-first company (as evidenced by the SpaceXAI rebrand).

Anthropic does seem like an odd choice to partner with as previously, Elon criticised the rival AI maker, Tweeting out, “Frankly, I don’t think ⁠there is anything you can do to escape the inevitable irony of Anthropic ending up being misanthropic.”

But now Elon seems to embrace Anthropic with open “AIrms”.

In what was 100% a subtle dig at Sam Altman, Musk wrote that “No one set off my evil detector,” after meeting with the Anthropic leaders who convinced Elon they were ensuring Claude would be “Good for humanity.”

So now the real question is, what happens to poor old Grok?

With this collaboration (and the dissolving of xAI), will Twitter’s own controversial AI chatbot be put down like a sick dog so Claude can take center stage?

Hopefully not.

Hopefully, Claude, Gemini, Grok, ChatGPT, and all the rest will have a FIGHT TO THE DEATH, and only the last one standing will be allowed to suggest slightly incorrect stroganoff recipes to me.

Damn, we really got $80 GTA 6 before GTA 6…

Take Two’s CEO, Strauss Zelnick, recently alluded to GTA 6’s price point at a video game conference and for some reason, this prompted Bank of America’s Securities Stock Analyst, Omar Dessouky, to weigh in.

“We also heard from attendees that the industry, which is perceived as struggling, would have difficulty selling games for $80 if GTA 6 came out at $70. We think it’s in Take-Two’s self-interest, as a publisher and partner to many developers, to raise the price point for the entire industry.”

And just to prove how in touch he is with the game industry, Dessouky doubled down on his point, saying that this high price point makes sense because “AI will raise the value of games to consumers.”

Of course, we don’t know what the price of GTA 6 will be, but for Zelnick’s part, he’s been saying that yes, game pricing does not reflect development costs…

“…If you look at it through that lens, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But that isn’t the lens through which we look. Instead, we look at… how do we deliver something amazing, and how do we make sure that what people pay for it feels very reasonable.”

So the question is, what’s reasonable?

Last year, Nintendo took the plunge with Mario Kart World, retailing at $79.99, $20 more than standard Switch games. The move was met with widespread criticism, but MKW went on to sell 14 million copies, so who’s laughing now?

This could really go either way. Rockstar certainly doesn’t need to charge $80. Everyone knows this game will be a hit and continue to be a hit for another decade after it’s been released. GTA 6 will likely make as much as a small country’s economy, no matter the price point.

And Take Two probably aren’t too fussed about the rest of the industry, no matter what BoA wants them to do. So the only question is, is it worth them squeezing the consumers just a little more?

I say go further, I say they should HIT ‘EM WITH A CROWBAR AND TAKE THEIR CAR TOO. IT’S THE GTA WAY!!!

No one knows. Obviously. What do you think ‘classified’ means?

Google ($GGLE) has amended its contract with the US Department of War to allow the government to use Gemini on classified networks for “any lawful government purpose.”

This ironically comes the same day that Google ($GLE) pulled out of a $100 million prize challenge to build voice-controlled autonomous drone swarms. Like an egg-drop but only slightly more explosive.

The company pulled out of the challenge after an internal ethics review, but a similar review wasn’t heeded for this new contract. Over 600 Google ($GG) employees signed a letter urging CEO Sundar Pichai to reject the deal for fear of misuse.

And this misuse to which these employees refer is the requirement that Google ($G) modify its AI safety settings and filters whenever the government asks for it.

But don’t worry! In the contract, the government can’t use Google’s ($) AI for mass surveillance or autonomous weapons “without appropriate human oversight and control.” Oh, well, that’s fine then. And Google ($GOOGLE) doesn’t have “any right to… veto lawful government operational decision-making.”

Alongside OpenAI and xAI, Google ($GOOO) now joins a long line of AI companies working directly with the government, with the notable exception of Anthropic, which is currently battling the Pentagon for independence.

Fighting a war against the Department of War? All I can say is ‘good ($GD) luck’!

Everyone’s favorite AI startup, Anthropic, is weighing up raising funds that would value the company at more than $900 billion, more than double its current valuation. Just crazy numbers.

Obviously, this is just talk for now, and the offers are preemptive at the moment, but they could raise around $50 billion, putting Anthropic at $850 billion to $900 billion.

Considering that Anthropic was valued at just (‘just’ lol) $380 billion back in February’s $30 billion funding round, this would be an insane boost for the company. $900b would put Anthropic above OpenAI’s $852b valuation, making it the most valuable AI startup in the world.

Makes you wonder at what point we can keep calling these companies a ‘startup’?

The board will decide whether they’ll go through with the funding round next month. But if it were up to me, I wouldn’t say no to a cool $50 billion, but that’s just me.

But it’s NOT up to me. And there’s a good reason why. Because all this money looks great, but what if you could hold out for even more money?

That’s exactly what Anthropic’s been doing, spurning previous investment proposals at an $800 billion valuation, even as Google and Amazon are circling to invest. Anthropic clearly hopes this hype will boost its value and could easily hold out for a higher number.

On the other hand, some recent negative press might sour Anthropic’s prospects. In the past month alone, hackers broke into Anthropic’s super-secret Mythos AI, Nvidia pulled its funding, and the AI company’s relationship with the Pentagon has seemingly soured.

So who’s to say what number the Claude creator will end up with, but all we know for sure is that it’s going to be big.

SpaceX is due for a potential-trillion-dollar IPO, which brings with it increased scrutiny into the company’s internal workings. One revelation from the rocket manufacturer’s IPO filing is that Elon Musk can only be fired by… err, Elon Musk?

According to the document, Elon “can only be removed from our board or these positions by the vote of Class B holders.” Now, if I’m understanding this correctly, Class B is anyone with super-voting shares and because Musk has the majority of these shares, he controls the vote and thus the decision if he gets fired or not.

Related article: Elon Made Head Of Efficiency, Immediately Fires Self

This has all come about because of the standard structure that startup IPOs often take. It’s called a ‘dual-class framework’ and it keeps the founders and other insiders in a separate tier of power (Class B) to the public shareholders (Class A, which sounds better tbh), theoretically keeping everyone happy.

For comparison, Meta has this structure but Tesla has a single share class.

BUT USUALLY the board reserves the right to fire the CEO if they get a bit too big for their boots. You know, checks and balances. For some reason SpaceX has waived that right.

Now only Elon can fire Elon, which would make for a very strange exit interview.

Oddly enough, Musk himself warned about this exact scenario in November last year on a Tesla shareholder call about his pay package, “I just think that there needs to be enough voting control to give a strong influence, but not so much that I can’t be fired if I go insane.”

Not sure why he’d bring that up as an option, but OK.

And again last August, “I think my control over Tesla should be enough to ensure that it goes in a good direction, but not so much control that I can’t be thrown out if I go crazy.”

Well, now we’re all very much hoping you don’t go crazy, Elon, because if that happens at SpaceX, no, you can’t be fired.

But then again… who would be crazy enough to fire themselves? Only a crazy person. So if Elon did go crazy he would in fact fire himself. IT’S A FOOLPROOF PLAN!

This is actually nuts.

So ahead of SpaceX’s potentially $1.75 trillion dollar (USD (dollars)) IPO valuation, back in January the rocket manufacturer’s board approved a pay package for Elon Musk granting him 200 million super-voting restricted shares BUT ONLY if SpaceX hits a $7.5t market cap AND…

…wait for it, this is the crazy part..

… IF HE ESTABLISHES A PERMANENT HUMAN COLONY ON MARS WITH AT LEAST ONE MILLION INHABITANTS.

Fairly standard bonus conditions. Not sure what you’re freaking out about.

For reference that’s roughly the population of Jerusalem picked up and plonked onto another planet.

And this isn’t the first time Elon’s been lured back to a company with a staggering pay package with almost impossible win conditions. Tesla did the same thing, offering him a trillion dollars if the company reached a market cap of $8.5 trillion. Tesla. Guys. Do you really think you can be worth almost double Nvidia’s value? Don’t we think that’s maybe a little ambitious?

And surely a $7.5t market cap for SpaceX is similarly out of reach? Well no. Nothing’s out of reach when you’ve got rockets.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE.

This isn’t even the really crazy milestone. Musk gets another 60.4 million restricted shares if SpaceX meets different valuation goals and builds data centers in space with a minimum 100 terawatt capacity.

That’s the equivalent of 100,000 NUCLEAR REACTORS IN SPACE.

So it remains to be seen if these goals will actually be reached. But you know what they say, shoot for the moon, because if you miss you’ll still become a trillionaire.

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But now the exact figures behind the deal have been revealed and the numbers are staggering.

Anthropic to the rescue

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