2025 | Wall Street Memes

Back in the day, famed car manufacturer Henry T. Ford spoke out against the creation of a central US bank and was then promptly murdered by JP Morgan on the Titanic.

Jks.

But Ford did have his newspaper, The Dearbord Independent, write that the Federal Reserve System was “a system of private banks [that heradled] a creation of a banking aristocracy.”

Yeah, but he also didn’t like anyone who drove a red car, so what does he know?

God, could you imagine private financial interests running newspapers and such? So glad that doesn’t happen today.

Ford also commented that, “It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.”

Haha, what a joker. Yes, we’ve come a long way since Ford’s time. The Fed is now a cornerstone of the US economy, along with the gold reserve, and my regular credit card repayments, which I definitely do.

Meanwhile, Henry Ford died penniless and isn’t remembered for anything.

But his legacy lives on! Ford’s sentiment has echoes in current US President Donald J. Trump thinking. Trump has recently spoken out against the Fed and its chair, saying that, “I don’t think it good,” probably, idk, I don’t read the news.

But what do you think? Is the Fed really just a private bank designed to divest money from individuals and businesses and move control into the hands of big government? Or do you disagree?

Let us know in the comments!

Ford (FRD) stock is UP following the announcement that they will be cancelling a bunch of their full EV vehicles and pivoting back to gas and hybrid vehicle production.

So I guess China won then? I guess you’re just giving up and letting China take the EV market. They’ve been coming for you and now you’ve stopped and let them catch you. But hey, better to retreat with casualties than keep on fighting until the bitter end, right Tesla?

The news comes with a long list of announcements, including the cancellation of Ford’s F-150 Lightning EV (why is it named like a fighter jet?) and pivoting their battery manufacturing from cars to grid storage.

I’m sorry, what was that about climate change? Yeah, I hardly know her neither.

“The operating reality has changed, and we are redeploying capital into higher-return growth opportunities: Ford Pro, our market-leading trucks and vans, hybrids, and high-margin opportunities like our new battery energy storage business,” said CEO, Henry Ford, in a statement.

This gear shift does mean the famed car manufacturer will eat a massive $$$$$19.5 billion in monies. Let me break that down for you:

$8 billion in asset impairments, including EV asset writedowns
$6 billion for restructuring and acquiring battery plant assets from partner SK ON
$5.5 billion in cash charges related to vehicle cancellations

And I know that seems like a lot but Ford has spotted a massive slump in EV purchases so in the long run this’ll be for the best, promise.

As the great Henry Ford once said, “Any customer can have a car powered any way that he wants, so long as it is gas.”

For more car news, read this: Ferrari Unveils First EV Car, Stock Price Stalls

PayPal Holdings Incorporated (PHISH) just applied to become a bank, even though they’re not a bank, you need to have walls and a door, and a bank teller called Marjorie would won’t let you withdraw $15,000 from your uncle’s account even though you have a note saying that he lets you, and it’s fine.

The move is an attempt to make use of Trump’s openness to fintech companies joining the banking sector. He’s also open to bribes, but I’d keep that in your back pocket for when you really need it.

The application to form a Utah-chartered industrial loan company was submitted to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp and the Utah Department of Financial Institutions and oh my god I fell asleep that’s so boring.

PayPal? More like PayI’mNotYourPalFriend

If approved, this could mean PayPal can hand out more small business loans but I also is step one onto the road to winning the coveted title of ‘bank’.

Now, this could all be a clever move on the part of PayPal because if we learned anything from the 2008 financial crisis it’s that there are some banks that are too big to fail which means that the government, by which I mean the taxpayer, has to bail them out so we all don’t die.

I know how it works, the government has a big red button in a glass case somewhere and a sign above it reads, “In case of financial crisis, hit button to bail out banks.” Now that’ll automatically pay the bank CEOs the billions that they need to keep their indoor pools heated (god forbid) BUT if you’re not on that list of ‘banks’ you don’t get squat, Marjorie.

So that’s clearly PayPal’s plan, become a bank, then just sit tight and wait for the world to burn.

Good luck with that.

SpaceX is about to complete a tender offer that will send the company stratospheric and rocket it to space where the aliens are (see what I did there? It’s a space pun).

This would boost (ok, I’ll stop) the company to a valuation of $800 billion, which is more money than I currently have.

Don’t freak out, though. SpaceX isn’t a public company yet. This was an insider share sale where the stocks were valued at $421 a share/per share (p/s).

But who’s the biggest winner out of all this? Well, unless you’re a big business nerd, the answer may shock you. Are you sitting down? Ok…

It’s Elon Musk.

I know, I know, calm down, it’s unexpected. BUT the other big winner out of this is none other than Google’s parent company: The Alphabet (of English language fame).

Yeah, turns out Google is one of the biggest investors in Musk Space Venture Dot Com, and has been since at least 2015. Who knew? Not me. Hopefully them.

This news comes hot off the heels that SpaceX (SPACO) is reportedly considering an IPO (initial public option) that would rocket boost (I can’t help myself) the company to a $1 trillion dollars in money valuation.

“It’s going to be the craziest IPO in the history of the stock market,” said Shay Boloor, chief market strategist for Futurum Equities Research, in an interview in which he himself went crazy. “If it’s trying to go for $1.5 trillion, I ‌wouldn’t be surprised if it goes up to over $2 trillion once it gets open.”

To da moon!

SpaceX hasn’t had a problem raising money in the past, but a public offering might significantly increase the company’s cash flow. As any good rocket scientist, economist, and gastroenterologist will tell you, when it comes to rocket fuel, cash flow, and fecal matter: liquid is better.

But the big one to profit isn’t just SpaceX investors, it’s the big man, the man in charge, the top dog, his muskiness himself: JOHN CENA!! Jk, ELON MUSK!!

With SpaceX’s cash explosion, Musk will likely go from being the world’s richest man to being the world’s richest man but more so. Estimators estimate that he will likely reach the one trillion mark that he’s been so desperate to achieve ever since his mother didn’t love him.

Related article: Tesla Approved Elon’s $1trl Pay Package, Here’s What It’ll Take For Him to Win It

SpaceX? More like, SpaceXcusetogetmoremoneyoffpeople

The downside is that Musk will then be beholden to those pathetic snivelling losers, what are they called? Oh yeah, ‘shareholders’. Bleh.

They already kicked off when he asked for a DESERVED one trillion pay package for not quitting his job and that’s not fair, ok? Well, now they might be whiny bitches again and hold back THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE FROM GOING INTERPLANETARY.

Do you want that? No. So give us your money and don’t have any other input beyond that, got it? Ok? Ok.

Glad we could straighten that out. You may leave now.

The-Only-President-I’m-Interested-In-Personally Donald Trump, recently said that he would consider removing federal tax on gambling winnings but mainly because he knows about a sure thing on the horses tonight.

Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, which is where they all live now, Trump said that “We have no tax on tips, we have no tax on Social Security, and we have no tax on overtime. No tax on gambling winnings, I don’t know. I’m gonna have to think about that.”

Better think quick Don, because I’ve got a three-way parlay on whether you’ll cut this tax or not.

trump gambling tweet — Can’t tell if that’s an AI picture or not…

Now, this isn’t just a bribe to win votes, this could be a really boon for anyone who makes money from gambling, like Wall Street Memes Casino Dot Com for example. As an online casino we only make money when people like you lose money. Yes, it’s you suckers that keep me employed.

So if Trump ditches the tax on winnings thing, it’s going to encourage more people to gamble, thinking they’re going to win more and then they’re going to lose more at our casino and then I can get a pay rise.

Thank you Mr. Trump!

I know who I’m voting for next election. That’s right, Jill Stein. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah…

Trump, Pump and Dump

Ok, I’m reading about the different tax brackets for gambling payouts and BORING. Honestly, if you can scrap all that just to make it less boring to read that’ll actually be great thank you very much.

Alright, I think that’s it from me, I’m off to bet everything I own at Wall Street Memes Casino Dot Com and then wait to cash out when Trump approves this law.

Ttfn!

In related but completely opposite news: Trump Reveals Plan To Tax Gambling Losses, Degens Now 10% More Unlucky

We’re screwed.

Like, I’m not even going to attempt to write an informative, meaningful, or even entertaining article here, because what’s the point? Disney is going to let Sora AI use characters from its properties like Star Wars, Pixar, Marvel etc. and you know that phrase, if you can’t beat them, join them? Well, one of the most powerful entertainment corporations in the world feels like they can’t beat them, then who even can?

We’re screwed.

I suppose Disney had no hope of holding back the tidal wave of AI shit that’s been pouring straight into our mouths for the past few years. They’ve already been using Disney’s IP without care or retribution. Many had held out hope that Disney would be the ones to finally put a stop to all this nonsense. “Just you wait until the Disney lawyers get whiff of AI using Mickey Mouse without paying royalties!”

Well, yeah, they got whiff, and what they whiffed was a goddamn penny to be made. Now the knight you had relied on slaying the dragon has joined the dragon and now they’re both coming to burn down our whole village.

Disney AI movies — Disney took one look at this at thought, “Yep, yes please, I want exactly that but with my licensed characters in it, please.”

We’re screwed.

It’s crazy to think that this is the same, famously litigious, Walt Disney Company that once sued a preschool for painting a mural with their licensed characters, lobbied for almost a century to change copyright law so they’d keep control of Michael K. Mouse, would slam down hard if you so much as breathed their characters in an offbrand way… and now… and now that same company will let literally anyone make literally any uncanny-vallley monstrosity they feel like out of those same characters?

No, not that Disney Sora… What, you going to sue me for using this image? Well, what if I said I generated it with AI?

When will we learn? A corporation does not care about the sanctity of its brand. It never did. They don’t care about the sanctity of art. They never did. It can only follow money. It’s all it ever cared about. The only difference between OpenAI and a preschool is that there’s money to be made from Sora users.

So what’s next? I mean, the company has already shown that they will plumb the depths of their integrity to churn out shot-for-shot-but-somehow-with-the-soul-missing remakes of whatever will make them the most cash. So if AI will make them money, if AI movies will make them money, if they’re cheaper and faster than paying animators, even if the quality is far worse, then you bet your frozen head they’ll do it.

Heck, spitting on artistry and innovation might not be what Walt would have wanted, but not paying your employees? Well, that’s Disney through and through.

Either way, if you’re a fan of movies, art, fun, joy, human expression, well…

Well, we’re not quite screwed.

So long as humans exist, those things will always exist. Humans have only ever created. Only ever expressed themselves. It’s just that the forces that don’t care for those things and prefer power and money, well, those forces are about to get a bit more powerful and a bit more richerer.

The dragon is bigger. The knight has thicker armour. But this village is made of fire-retardant asbestos, bitch.

SpaceX (SPACO) is reportedly considering an IPO (initial public option) that would rocket boost (see what I did there?) the company to a $1 trillion dollars in money valuation.

“It’s going to be the craziest IPO in the history of the stock market,” said Shay Boloor, chief market strategist for Futurum Equities Research in an interview which he himself went crazy. “If it’s trying to go for $1.5 trillion, I ‌wouldn’t be surprised if it goes up to over $2 trillion once it gets open.”

To da moon!

But the big one to profit isn’t just SpaceX investors, it’s the big man, the man in charge, the top dog, his muskiness himself: JOHN CENA!! Jk, ELON MUSK!!

SpaceX? More like, SpaceXcusetogetmoremoneyoffpeople

The downside is that Musk will then be beholden to those pathetic snivelling losers, what are they called? Oh yeah, ‘shareholders’. Bleh.

Do you want that? No. So give us your money and don’t have any other input beyond that, got it? Ok? Ok.

Glad we could straighten that out. You may leave now.

I don’t see color.

Pantone, the people behind the Pantone Matching System (which awkwardly abbreviates to PMS) have unveiled their ‘Color of the Year 2026’ like they do every year and is no way controversial at all.

It’s white. They picked white.

Well, officially it’s called ✨ 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓾𝓭 𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻 ✨ and it’s an off-white, a lil creamy, a lil gray. Pantone describes it as “a lofty white that serves as a symbol of calming influence in a society rediscovering the value of quiet reflection.”

…sure.

Now, this is all just a bit of advertising, nothing to write home about, except, of course, people are kicking off that of all the colors and non-colors it’s white, accusing the company of promoting ✨𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓬𝔂✨.

The next market crash?

But that’s not the kind of crazy I’m interested in today, because this is a respectable financial publication after all, no, let me draw your attention to this particular tweet:

Mhmhmm, yeah, stick with me, now look at this:

Right, so look at when Pantone doesn’t pick real colors, they pick grays and whites. What have we got:

2006 – the peak of the housing market, which crashed for 2 years…

2021 – the Russia-Ukraine war caused a crash that the world took 18 months to recover from…

And now…

2026 – holy shit.

I’m not saying everything’s orchestrated or anything, BUT PANTONE ARE DEFINITELY SIGNALING TO THE WEALTHY ELITE WHEN TO CASH OUT AND CASH IN.

YOU’RE ALL BEING PLAYED SHEEPLE! THE PANTONE COLOR COMPANY IS BEHIND EVERYTHING! NO, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, I’M TELLING THE TRUTH! A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!! YOU CAN’T SUPPRESS THE TRUTH!! AAAHHHH!!!

[“The content is below the minimum of words. Add more content.” …bitch, a picture says a thousand words and I used two, come on, that’s 2000 words right there!]

For more color news, read this: Facebook Changes Branding Colors To Red In Effort To Court Trump

You have to pay $1 million dollars. I’m not kidding.

Yes, President Trump’s new “gold card” visa scheme has just gone live, allowing foreigners to simply bribe, sorry, I meant buy a Visa for a million dollars. Or, even better, companies can sponsor someone for $2 million dollars. They also get a shiny golden card as an added bonus (not real gold. Ts&Cs apply…)

It’s true. Just go to trumpcard.gov and if you’ve got a spare milly lying around, try it out for yourself!

And if you think that’s the end of it JUST YOU WAIT. Because what’s better than gold? That’s right, platinum and Trump has heard your request and has a waiting list for $5 million dollar “Trump Platinum Cards”.

Why these official government documents have to have Trump’s name on them like they’re steaks is anyone’s guess…

Trump sued by Willy Wonka for plagiarism

However, Trump’s latest get-rich-quick scheme has already run into problems as the estate of the late chocolatier, William K. Wonka has filed a lawsuit against Donald K. Trump regarding his latest plan to offer ‘Gold Card’ Visas to the wealthy.

The Wonka estate claims that Trump, “Plagiarised the golden ticket idea fully, wholeheartedly and with malice. We demand full compensation and a golden ticket for ourselves.”

golden ticket gold card visa trump the office — Live footage of Trump coming up with the idea of the golden ticket completely on his own

Trump’s idea differs from the master chocolatier’s promotional factory tour since the Gold Card visa cannot be discovered in a chocolate bar but must instead be purchased for $1 million. The plan aims to increase government cash flow and raise the number of immigrants entering the country, wait, no, that’s not…

“I don’t care if they’re completely different,” continued the Wonka lawsuit, “Wonka Co. has long held a trademark on the word ‘gold’ and the Trump organization has repeatedly flounced that legal ownership. We demand full ownership of Trump Tower and every gold Trump-branded item immediately, please.”

Legal experts say that Wonka is unlikely to win any such case. The lawsuit follows an increasingly litigious streak from the company after Wonka filed a claim against an unlicensed Glaswegen Wonka immersive experience last year.

Gold Card? More like card made of gold!

Meanwhile, Trump’s gold card program adds an important new color to the ‘card’ system. You see, there already exists a green card visa and a red card may be used to end a conversation, but the world has never seen anything as powerful as a magic gold card before.

When asked specifically about Russian oligarchs buying the card for some reason, Trump said, “Yeah, possibly. Hey. I know some Russian oligarchs that are very nice people,” which is a normal thing for an American president to say.

The gold card will replace a similar scheme called the EB-5 which is almost identical to the gold card but has a lower price tag and doesn’t have the word ‘gold’ in it so this one’s much cooler I guess.

Meanwhile, Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory continues to… wait… what’s that? Oh no, it’s… it’s… IT’S THE UNKNOWN! AAARRRGGHGGHHHH!!!

Jerome Powell can keep his job… for now

The Federal Reserve of money (aka THE Fed) has at last lowered interest rates by 0.25 percentage points to 3.50/3.75%, the lowest it’s ever been since three years ago.

The problem is the Fed is caught between a rock and a hard place, on the one hand, you’ve got a plummeting job market, but on the other hand, you have the prices of everything rising but on a secret third hand, you have me with a three-way parlay on whether Jay Powell will sneeze during the announcement.

But Trump’s only happy with more, more, MORE, saying that the cut should have been “at least doubled… Our rates should be much lower, we should have the lowest rates in the world!!!” he screamed before passing out.

And his lackays are falling in line with this sentiment. Trump’s Council of Economic Advisors person, Stephen Miran, for example, voted against the cut, instead wanting a more dramatic 0.5 point cut.

And as for ‘the hard place’, the presidents of Chicago and Kansas City’s Feds voted to keep rates as they are.

Death by 0.25 cuts

We likely won’t see any rate cuts over the coming months but with Jay Powell’s imminent retirement/assassination his replacement could easily come in and set interest rates to minus a billion as is Trump’s heart’s desire.

We’ll just have to see how things pan out but until then, check out who’s the front runner to replace Powell: Jerome Powell Is Getting Fired, Here Are The Top 5 Likely Replacements

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